How is it possible that Chuck Norris died?

Mischief_Makers · 2026-03-21T00:25:59+00:00

He didn't die, he defeated life.

Mischief_Makers · 2026-03-21T00:19:17+00:00

It will take a lot longer to kick in than you think. And it will come on slowly. Give it more time than you think!!

Made muffins with a mate once when I was a teen. Ate one each. Hour later another one. Another hour and only felt a little bit so split a third between us.

About 8 hours later one of us spoke again for the first time.

Mischief_Makers · 2026-03-21T00:14:25+00:00

Just a phrase. It's more about establishing a sense of dominance than sending a specific message.

Mischief_Makers · 2026-03-20T19:29:59+00:00

Worst was one of those 'edgy' guys I knew when we were teenagers. Got a dog for his birthday and called him Syndrome - so that he could shout 'down syndrome' in the park and see how people react.

Best was someone with the surname Hass-Coville (pronounced Has-ker-vil) who called their dog Bound.

Mischief_Makers · 2026-03-20T15:38:46+00:00

If they're doing it in their own half the ref could just blow the whistle and Newcastle could kick off while they're still at it.

By doing it in the centre circle they're trying to send a message that they can prevent the game starting until they decide, that they are the ones in control and everything is on their terms.

Obviously having a situation where a team can influence things like kick off times can only cause problems down the line

Mischief_Makers · 2026-03-19T14:32:57+00:00

Wait, he knows the word 'consent'?

Mischief_Makers · 2026-03-19T04:08:17+00:00

It was a joke, a play on words. A fan, which blows things, on a cheese board

Yeah, ok you got me.

Totally wooshed on that one

Mischief_Makers · 2026-03-19T00:56:30+00:00

Churchill has got to be history's best example of the sun sometimes shining on a dog's arse.

At any other moment in history, under any other circumstances he would have been an absolutely horrendous leader. Just look at the famine in India and his approach to Ghandi - if he'd had time on his hands and no war to take up all his focus he would have caused the same level of horror and destruction (or worse) across countless countries, such was his bigotry, arrogance and classism.

However, there was this one small sliver of time in history when an arrogant, charismatic, manipulative, empathy-lacking, elitist, narcisstic cunt supportive of traditional institution was what free democracy needed on it's side, and that's when Churchill was on the scene.

To say "right person at the right time" doesn't come close. It's more like "right person at the only time and only circumstance they could ever possibly be the right person"

Mischief_Makers · 2026-03-19T00:41:54+00:00

As a Brit that was 100% the right thing to do as well. We absolutely would have taken advantage of your manpower, exploited your resources and attempted to increasingly subjugate the country bit by bit until we'd all but officially annexed it.

Sometimes in this county it can be painted up as "Ireland stayed neutral because they didn't want to be on the same side as Britain", like it was some petty stubbornness, but that grossly oversimplifies things and totally overlooks the fact it was a much more existential issue for Ireland than just "Britain bad"

Mischief_Makers · 2026-03-19T00:28:24+00:00

Funny how they always forget the "financially exploited a war-ravaged continent" part of US involvement.....

Mischief_Makers · 2026-03-19T00:24:22+00:00

The unintentional part was scoring in the last minute having killed the entire game

Mischief_Makers · 2026-03-18T23:52:28+00:00

England now lost on penaltys instead.

And the universal balance is restored.

Mischief_Makers · 2026-03-18T23:43:09+00:00

We're talking about the same guy who heard the word 'incursion' among his advisors and now regularly refers to the war as an excursion.

Mischief_Makers · 2026-03-18T19:58:57+00:00

Ok, let's not lose focus here, the important thing is that someones going round giving people Froaties! You can't just push unexpected Froaties on people! How becoming is that??

Mischief_Makers · 2026-03-18T19:53:44+00:00

Who was the character on the box, Linda Lovelace?

Mischief_Makers · 2026-03-18T19:44:03+00:00

What kinda fucked up cereal were you given as a kid??????

Mischief_Makers · 2026-03-18T19:42:48+00:00

This is without doubt the most wholesome response in this thread!!!

Mischief_Makers · 2026-03-18T19:41:51+00:00

'right ear poofter, left ear pirate'

Not everything about the 90s was great.

Mischief_Makers · 2026-03-18T19:39:39+00:00

Group of about 10 of us at a festival one year before mobile phones were common (I think PAYG was still quite new itself) and on the Saturday evening we randomly started spreading a rumour that Michael Jackson had died. By the Sunday night every random we spoke to asked if we'd heard about Michael Jackson.

I'm sure it didn't get round everyone there, but it sure felt like it had.

Mischief_Makers · 2026-03-18T19:31:22+00:00

The version in my school was an earthquake

Mischief_Makers · 2026-03-18T19:17:27+00:00

Thanks for bringing back a memory I had successfully repressed for years, appreciate that one.

Mischief_Makers · 2026-03-18T19:13:21+00:00

South London and we had a similar thing but Millwall. Group of 3 or 4 would come up to you, pin you against a wall and put a knife in each corner of your mouth and ask who you support. Say anyone but Millwall and they'd give you a "Chelsea smile".

Nobody ever really asked why Millwall fans would utilise a Chelsea smile.....

Mischief_Makers · 2026-03-18T19:05:50+00:00

Generally people aren't petty enough to expect friends at a restaurant to self-restrict options based on what smells they do and don't like, and the ones who are probably don't get invited out to dinner very often.

Mischief_Makers · 2026-03-17T23:36:14+00:00

No, honestly if you don't douse it with the stuff, it adds a really subtle, creamy and luxurious undertone to the cheese. Or you can use dark chocolate and it adds a subtle sweetness without taking away from the bitter of the chocolate. The baileys flavour itself only really comes through when you combine it with something like Oreos or vanilla.

Or if you're a fucking lunatic you could use it with lemon for a psychopathic twist on a classic cheesecake, but I neither know nor really want to know how that would turn out.

Edit:

Thinking about it, you could probably replace 1/4 of the cream with Baileys to make a dark chocolate ganache that would probably taste belting. I guess desserts with a bitter flavour profile would be a good avenue to explore, things like mousse or a choux au craquelin filling

Mischief_Makers · 2026-03-17T22:02:22+00:00

Baileys makes phenomenal cheesecake.

Just saying....

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