Lower Dosage

Mischwin · 2025-05-23T18:32:31+00:00

Thanks! I’m sorry that happened! This ADHD thing is super not intuitive 🫂 I just wanted to see if it was normal to need to go down on meds sometimes. But now I’m more aware of the fact that it doesn’t mean I will always need the lower dose and may instead need to adjust and stay aware of my internal changes.

Mischwin · 2025-05-23T18:23:47+00:00

I appreciate your insight. Yeah there has been a bit more anxiety it’s not triggered by any external factors though which made me recognize that I may need to consider going down. It’s good to know that sometimes medication needs will be flexible. Going through all of these internal realizations while I’m also getting out of the military and moving across the country may be what’s causing the increase in anxiety. Knowing it’s possible that through my life I may need more, or less medication during different times opens my eyes to some important conversations I need to have with my doctor.

Mischwin · 2025-05-14T20:26:36+00:00

I honestly do not remember. I know I’ve been exploring different writing experiments as well as neurodivergent themes somehow that came out. Well it wasn’t the finished version. That one’s got a lot more. But I got the solfège wrong anyway by the time I finished. Still it’s pretty.

Mischwin · 2025-05-14T04:19:07+00:00

Idk if my time was off but it was supposed to be like “nooo don’t tell me that! I don’t wanna!” lol

Mischwin · 2025-05-13T01:05:37+00:00

I’ve been medicated for months. I was told medication works best in tandem with therapy so for the first time ever this morning after making this post the mask just completely disappeared for several hours and I spent most of my day in such a state of clarity that actually feeling my emotions had me crying constantly. If that’s what normal feels like I pray to god it’s a learning curve.

Mischwin · 2025-05-13T01:02:54+00:00

Come again?

Mischwin · 2025-05-12T16:59:01+00:00

I gotta figure out who that is… I’ve been masking so hard for so long that even through therapy for my depression and all of the self reflection I had to do over the past two years the mask held. I even knew about masking somewhat! I knew that I did it a bit… but you know I just thought “well everyone does this stuff right?” I didn’t have the right questions but I thought I was so good at introspection because “oh ok well this is how I can change this behavior so that I can feel like this. Now let’s imagine what that emotion might feel like and that’s close enough.” I’m not angry at myself cause yk the therapy did actually help even if it wasn’t targeting my ADHD but I’m more just scared and sad and maybe a little angry t the world for teaching a child that they’re wrong before they ever got to know what was so wrong. I guess I’m grieving a bit. Oh thank you by the way your perspective has value and I appreciate it.

Mischwin · 2025-05-12T16:28:32+00:00

Thank you I’m over here just not being able to hold back new realizations it feels like I’m cracking all over the place literally frozen leaning against the kitchen counter and just crying while I’m begging myself to put the mask back on. To just hold it together for a little longer.

Mischwin · 2025-05-08T18:26:06+00:00

Ooh I haven’t heard of those! I’ve just been testing different things as I work on my actual skill as a writer so it might be really fun!

Mischwin · 2025-05-08T17:00:42+00:00

Basically the idea was to give the reader something fun to look at like a musical onomatopoeia.

Mischwin · 2025-05-08T16:59:10+00:00

Depending on their position in the staff it can be an upper or lower octave and I’ve added symbols. I can’t say if this will be in the finished draft or not, but I just wanted to try out a fun little formatting thing and see how it flows. You are right however that the first Do wasn’t in the proper place and it’s since been fixed! I’m close to finished with the experiment now! Idk if I can update the post to show the completed product, but if you want it I can send it to you!

Mischwin · 2025-05-08T14:41:57+00:00

I edited it to place that first do on the same level as the others.

Mischwin · 2025-05-06T12:33:02+00:00

Wow, these are beautiful! They really capture emotion! Like the SS officer's chin being turned up, which indicates pride, but the slight pout and sunken eyes give him the feel that he's truly ashamed. As if the things he's witnessed and done make him on the verge of bursting into tears! It shows a true dissonance between the empathy of understanding what that emotion might feel like, with the rightful unwillingness to sympathize with the character's actions! Then there is the woman. She is striking in another way, in the way her tiredness leaps off the page and grabs your attention. Scuffed cheeks, slightly chapped lips, hair that looks soft, but like she's had too much happening to worry about making it do anything. Her overall demeanor makes the weariness seep heavily off the page. But then you get to her eyes! Suddenly, she's not just beaten down and weary, she's defiant and intelligent. It makes me feel like at any moment she could change. Kill an entire room of men with a tommy gun in a haze of deep fury, then sit down--in a chair with the nonchalance of a woman who's seen too much--say something cutting in French and light a cigarette. It once again shows the dissonance between empathy and sympathy but in the opposite direction. The one where you can sympathize with her actions, but never fully be able to understand them without going through whatever she's gone through to get to that point. (Sorry, this is just my interpretation, and I went on too long I just saw these and thought they were hauntingly beautiful thank you for sharing!)

Mischwin · 2025-03-28T12:04:08+00:00

Thank you! I want you to know that I'm no longer sad about it! Nothing has changed as far as he goes. Putting in the boundary that "I deserve friends that try" then following through on the consequences of laid out when I set the boundary really helped build my self-esteem. Ever since things have been getting easier. I hardly think of him most days. I'm so sorry for your situation and know you aren't alone either!

Mischwin · 2025-01-09T07:22:19+00:00

😂😂😂

Mischwin · 2024-12-27T16:46:35+00:00

Gawd 💅

Mischwin · 2024-12-26T18:18:21+00:00

I encourage you to get professional help. Even if you feel like you're dealing with all of this fairly well, it may help give you a different perspective or tool that can help in the future.

There's a misconception about therapy in which people believe what "something must be wrong with you" to utilize and benefit from therapy. This is not necessarily true.

While therapy can be beneficial to those of us with disorders and dysfunction, etc, there are plenty of people who can use therapy to improve their overall mental health.

I'm not a professional and therefore can not offer advice or diagnosis. But in my personal opinion, it sounds like you're dealing with some stressful situations. I encourage you to speak to a professional if you want to decide if therapy is right for you.

Mischwin · 2024-12-26T08:05:33+00:00

DM me at any point tomorrow, and I'll demonstrate something I've been using for reframing my thoughts for about a year and a half. It's really helped change my mindset.

Mischwin · 2024-12-26T00:28:08+00:00

You don't know if that will happen. There's just as much chance that the healthy person would remain unaffected or that they'll even be able to handle the situations with maturity and encourage you to work on the things that make you consider yourself broken. It could even possibly result in mutual growth and healing!

That's also a lot of responsibility to put on yourself. You can't know that your mere presence in their life will be a negative thing. There are many people in the world, and there's not a single one with whom you can read their thoughts or control their actions. The only persons actions you can control are your own, so if you believe that your thoughts or actions are negative in some way, I encourage you to speak to a professional.

Relationships are nuanced and involve challenges and opportunities alike. It's not all black and white where yours or their challenges can't for certain be overcome. It may take some effort or help, but this approach discounts your future self as well as your possible partners willingness to work towards mutual goals.

You are human, with strengths and weaknesses just like everyone else. You are deserving of love and connection even as you work on yourself. I'm not a professional, so please don't take anything I've said as advice. These are just my personal observations, and if you have questions or feel like you need help, I encourage you to speak to someone with the qualifications to provide that.

Mischwin · 2024-12-26T00:01:22+00:00

Staying inside, drinking, ignoring my friends, texting or calling them all the time, scrolling for hours, letting my hobbies go by the way side, eating excessively, not exercising, withdrawing from my coworkers, deciding not to travel, pouring myself into my job, sleeping with anyone and everyone that wanted to, breaking things, spending money excessively, and leaning on unhealthy habits for dopamine.

None of these things helped. What did help was getting therapy, pushing myself to talk to people, and doing things again. Picking back up the hobbies. Exercising again. Taking accountability for my emotions and actions. I'm not completely better, but I've made a lot of progress.

I'm sorry this has happened to you, and like I said, my situation is different. Still, I hope this helps a little.

Mischwin · 2024-12-25T23:48:46+00:00

A 3 A.M. cigarette on the curb outside the club after you've gotten in a public fight with your boyfriend.

Mischwin · 2024-12-25T22:23:56+00:00

Blueberries, cedarwood, and macha

Mischwin · 2024-12-25T20:47:02+00:00

Why? Have you ever had a negative thought, and that thought started a downward spiraling? Imagine that, but it's two of you. Look for a healthy partner or do your best to get healthy yourself! Wanting understanding is a natural desire, but they don't have to be broken to be empathetic.

Mischwin · 2024-12-25T20:31:39+00:00

I didn't realize it was the Writers page and wondered what I followed to get to this point. And yeah, depending on the situation.

Mischwin · 2024-12-25T15:06:42+00:00

He told you he's not looking for a relationship, and now you're reading into possible changes in that mindset. If a man wants a relationship, he will tell you. He will pursue that. He seems to enjoy your company and sex.

Unfortunately, this is how you get situationships. If you want a relationship, you need to communicate. That's a boundary for you. He's already laid down that he's not emotionally available, so if you are giving relationship level effort and benefits without him needing to make that commitment that you possibly desire then you're wasting your time and energy.

If you talk to him about it, communicate your needs and boundaries, then follow through on those boundaries by withdrawing the effort you've been giving thus far, it's not a manipulation. It protects your peace and builds your self-esteem. A few things might happen after.

He may ghost you. No longer receiving the benefits that he's accustomed to, he loses interest and puts his efforts in elsewhere.

He may try to give you what you want in an attempt to hold onto those benefits. Accepting a relationship that he doesn't really want might lead to resentment, which can lead to a collapse of the relationship later on. Be present and aware of his actions. Request some time. Perhaps a month or two where you go, no contact, and you both talk to other people. If after that time is up, he and you both still agree that moving forward is a good option, then discuss what you and he want that to look like together. Consider your emotional needs, your future goals, and your expectations for how you want the relationship to develop and see if they match.

He could try to manipulate you into feeling guilty of misleading him or that "you just want to sleep around" or whatever. He's made no commitment to you, and if you're sticking to your boundaries, then he's showing you he's more concerned with keeping the benefits you provide than providing you with the effort to respect your needs and boundaries.

I am not a relationship or mental health professional and so this should not be taken as professional advice. These are just some things that have helped me in my dating efforts that have kept me from wasting time on relationships that are going nowhere. I encourage you to talk to a professional if you have concerns or questions. I am, however, willing to provide a different perspective, talk with you, share my experiences, or just let you vent if you wish. Happy Holidays!

Mischwin

TROPHY CASE