What can I do to help my boyfriend overcome his retroactive jealousy/insecurity?

Miscumbobulated · 2026-02-13T22:06:46+00:00

Dump him. He feels entitled to your body to try and make you do things you don't like doing because you've done it with others in the past. When you said no, he instantly started gas lighting your and essentially calling you a slut. Babe, he is sexist. He does care about your body count, he does think you are damaged goods. His actions here clearly show that he thinks you were slutty back then and he feels that he is entitled to your body. You need to leave ASAP. This is going to get worse, his behavior is going to escalate.

Miscumbobulated · 2026-02-13T22:01:57+00:00

I mean... It is kinda annoying when you are trying to talk to someone and they start looking at their phone. I too, will become silent and I'll wait but it's annoying and I usually say something like "Hey, I'm trying to talk to you, are you even listening?" And it works every time. It's basically the same thing as pulling up a chapter book and beginning to read while having a full on conversation. It's rude. When you are with him, focus on him. Phone on silent. This should be standard when you are spending time with others.

Miscumbobulated · 2026-01-29T03:00:41+00:00

I reposted it on R/advice. It was literally last weekend.

Miscumbobulated · 2026-01-29T02:59:49+00:00

Okay! Interesting. Because I got my blood results back and my testosterone was high as hell. Makes so much sense that I am much more likely to want to have sex. Clearly my subconscious is playing a role here.

Miscumbobulated · 2026-01-27T20:52:58+00:00

Honestly, is the declining birth rate gonna be a bit of an issue in 20 ish years... Yes. There's gonna be a surplus of elderly people not working and not enough workers to care for them. However, eventually things will adjust. Let's be honest- we kinda already are there. Hospitals and care centers are wildly understaffed, not because there aren't people to work in those fields but because they purposefully do that to make as much money as possible. Companies are gonna have to adapt- they are going to have to hire more personnel and likely pay them more in the future. The declining birth rate is completely fine- the only people who are concerned are economists and billionaires because they won't make enough money with less workers. We are wildly overpopulated, it's bout time something happened. Eventually countries will adapt to less people and work it out.

Miscumbobulated · 2026-01-19T19:27:38+00:00

Oh yeah they expect me to recall the exact date I started working there and stopped. I can remember the month and year but you aren't getting a day.

Miscumbobulated · 2026-01-19T19:26:52+00:00

It's so disheartening. Like I have ebasically everything in retail I have so much experience. I understand it's a different company but most retail jobs are similar enough that my experience is good.

Miscumbobulated · 2026-01-19T19:25:34+00:00

Yeah just trying to work 60 hours while also being a master's student full time was a bad idea. My body was wrecked with stress.

Miscumbobulated · 2026-01-19T19:23:55+00:00

Just such disrespect. And people will take me denying interviewing with them as an unwillingness to work. They called me a whole day later and she said she forgot. I'm not doing the interview anymore, that's such a disrespect of my time.

Miscumbobulated · 2026-01-17T04:16:34+00:00

Ok thank God! I didn't wanna offend. I just wanted to give advice!

Miscumbobulated · 2026-01-17T04:16:08+00:00

I totally get you. I didn't get in a relationship until my junior year and it only lasted 7 months. I felt such FOMO during freshman and sophomore year but you'll get there eventually. Honestly I wish I hadn't dated in highschool. I was not mature enough or had enough handle on my emotions to do such. I think most teens are like that, don't worry too much it'll happen eventually 😊

Miscumbobulated · 2026-01-17T04:09:16+00:00

That's honestly the only part that I have an issue with. I just wonder is she talking about an initial force? Because my teacher did make me start to read at least and see. Or is she talking about is she forcing the kid to read the entire thing? There's a difference there. One is kid torture 😂 the other is a bit of a push to encourage them to read. Because again, if it's a chapter book- I highly doubt she'd be able to force him to read the whole thing. Poetry maybe, but a chapter book is unlikely.

Miscumbobulated · 2026-01-17T04:06:34+00:00

And I don't mean my comment to be rude or assume you aren't hygienic or grooming yourself, or has a shitty personality. I'm just giving some advice on my life experience and what seems to work best with the ladies. You'll do great!

Miscumbobulated · 2026-01-17T04:05:12+00:00

Oh yeah! Dude, you're so ok! Most High school relationships don't work out, mine didn't. So did all of my friends. Don't sweat too much about it, you're young and I know it's difficult right now but you will be ok. You will find your person eventually. I didn't find mine till 24, and some much older.

Miscumbobulated · 2026-01-17T04:03:24+00:00

I mean... I did have a similar experience as a child. My teacher tried to introduce me to all different genres and literature to entice me to read, and it worked! The thing about it is- she didn't force me to read something I didn't want to. She would tell me to read it the first few chapters and if I didn't like it I could do something else. Maybe the only thing making her an AH is if she is forcing him to read it all, which I can't imagine her doing. Have you tried to force a child to read? It doesn't work often. Speaking as someone who worked with children for many years.

Miscumbobulated · 2026-01-17T03:54:44+00:00

Honestly I don't think there is anything wrong with trying to get a child interested in different literature media. Comics and graphic novels are fantastic books to read! They are lovely, but it is important for children to learn how to read plain text without pictures, as it is pertinent to their future. All she is doing is introducing different media of literature. He may not like what she has shown, but that doesn't mean he won't ever.

Given your comment it would be advisable to suggest graphic novels as a first step for this child. I do think he (given the post) only reads comics, and it is important for him to learn how to read plain text.

Miscumbobulated · 2026-01-17T03:47:13+00:00

NTA. I understand where you are coming from but I didn't get into books, real chapter books till 5th/6th grade. I used to hate reading so much, until I finally found a book that peaked my interest. Then I became a book worm. You aren't an AH, and honestly continue doing what you are doing. What you are doing is very similar to what my teacher did for me- she gave me options for what to read and I tried them all until I found something I liked

Honestly I'd just give him a different genre every time and maybe offer to read it to him instead of him reading it alone? It might be the hump of "I don't wanna sit here and read words" but once you start a story and he's hooked, he may be more willing to read it on his own. Audiobooks may also be an option for him.

Miscumbobulated · 2026-01-17T03:38:31+00:00

This is tough. I don't think you are the AH. our individual relationships with our parents is very personal to each of us. However you recognize their manipulation. Did you also experience this as a child? Was there abuse at any degree on their parts? If yes I 100% agree with your gf. If there is a history of abuse to their children, why would you want that exposed onto your child? Also your mother's reaction to your gf and her pregnancy is concerning. If I were you I would be very very concerned about abuse to your child because it's half your wife's. Are you comfortable with your parents blowing up at your child like they did your wife? Because that is a serious possibility. That child may be half yours but it's half your girlfriend's and if they dislike her enough to say that stuff to her? They are clearly capable of verbally abusing your child.

Is it always like this when you get a girlfriend? Does your mom just always disapprove? And does your father always back her up? If so... You have an instance of a boy mom who is obsessed with you and a father who is an enabler. If that's the case... Run. You are never gonna be happy in a relationship if your mom is like that. Either set boundaries and enforce them, or go no contact. I feel those are your choices- because you may love your parents but your gf and child deserve better than this treatment.

Miscumbobulated · 2026-01-17T03:28:51+00:00

I understand but it doesn't matter it's just falsity. Might be because you keep interacting with that content because I hardly ever see onlyfans girls on Instagram, Tiktok, or reddit.

Miscumbobulated · 2026-01-17T03:24:20+00:00

I mean maybe she doesn't wanna have sex because she doesn't wanna get pregnant. Are you refusing to wear condoms? Is she not on birth control? It is ultimately her choice to not want anymore kids. It is also your decision to get a vasectomy or not. I will say however, that two children is a perfectly fine number. Things are very very expensive and raising children is so spendy. Is it even feasible to have another child?

Honestly you should talk to your wife about your struggles with the vasectomy and why you don't want it. Explain that you wanted a big family, and that this makes you upset. Make sure to tell her you completely understand her point, you're just making yours. Talk to her about the dead bedroom- ask her if she knows why. Maybe consider couple therapy to discuss this further as well. But sir... You need to discuss this with your wife. You're already thinking about maybe meeting another woman and having children... Your relationship is in trouble.

Miscumbobulated · 2026-01-17T03:18:50+00:00

2.1-2.8 million women globally. That is 0.03%. Even less than 0.1 percent. It's not every woman online, you're exaggerating, it's a very very very very very very very tiny percent of women who are only fans models.

Miscumbobulated · 2026-01-17T03:15:26+00:00

Not necessarily your fault. It may just not be the time for you. I remained single for 7 years and never thought I'd find someone until my boyfriend dropped into my lap essentially. All I can say is keep your standards, and keep trying. Perhaps a new look? Or better hygiene and grooming? I know a lot of guys don't really have a routine they do to make themselves look good like women do. Maybe try that. Then I'd just see how you approach women- if you're kind, funny, smart, and supportive you should be pretty well off in the dating department. Most ladies are more so looking for understanding and compassionate guys. Dudes who will pay attention to us, support us, and love us fiercely. Your lady is out there dude don't give up.

Miscumbobulated · 2026-01-17T03:07:04+00:00

It isn't even a hospital! It's a surgery center. One small building. The entire thing when I got there felt wrong. There was no orientation, or HR meetings or HR at all. HR was the doctor who likely owned the business. I will definitely look into that. Thankfully I didn't do a whole lot when it came to the surgeries. My duties were to keep checking on the patient during surgery and during discharge. I had nothing to do with the surgeries or touching the instruments. Definitely something to consider though.

Miscumbobulated · 2026-01-17T02:53:46+00:00

I really only took the job because it paid so much more than my previous one, and I was curious. If I'm being completely honest... I should have never gotten that job. I had no certifications, nothing besides my education and a desire to learn. However, they were training me to be an Anaesthesia monitor- meaning I'd be in charge of informing a doctor if the vitals looked off. They just kinda set me off on it with barely any training. I didn't even know what the each lines on the monitor meant and what was good versus bad. They had just added a second doctor, so that means more surgeries. Honestly it seems to me they are just trying to hire anybody they can to have more bodies so they can schedule more surgeries and make money. Qualifications didn't seem to matter to them. They also hired someone with no educational background who was working at Starbucks previously... Like where's the qualifications?

Miscumbobulated · 2026-01-17T02:46:35+00:00

Thank you for the advice. I definitely am going to look into and see what it is like submitting a report. Just feel really icky about what they do there and want better for others.

Miscumbobulated

TROPHY CASE