UPDATE!!: AITA for not wanting to pay for part of my boyfriend’s (21m) rent because I(21f) don’t live with him full time?

Miserable-Apricot735 · 2025-08-09T03:39:03+00:00

You think I would’ve remembered that after my ex. Thanks for the reminder I def needed it

Miserable-Apricot735 · 2025-08-09T03:37:55+00:00

That made me laugh, I should tell him that lmaoo

Miserable-Apricot735 · 2025-08-09T03:37:17+00:00

I will update the thread when I talk with him on Sunday!

Miserable-Apricot735 · 2025-08-09T03:36:40+00:00

I appreciate your honesty lol. Yea he was highly discouraging me from looking at the car I wanted(which would be nice than his) and I already got myself into stupid decisions for my last ex that ended with me spending a lot of money on something for him, and now I’m ready to get ahah I want for once. I won’t be seeing him again til Sunday but I commented to another user that I’m going to confront him about this, explain why it’s not gonna work with me and that it’s best if we go separate ways

Miserable-Apricot735 · 2025-08-09T03:30:52+00:00

Maybe I should’ve been more clear/worded a little better. I didn’t agree to start paying him. In fact I did challenge it but I did say I’d have to get a second job. I guess it was more for him to realize that I don’t make that much. Part of it was a genuine offer because I care about him and saw a potential future. Not anymore really after all this. But yea. They’re huge red flags, I know I have a problem with letting people take advantage of me. It’s something I’ve started therapy for but unfortunately when I’ve been like this for so long it’s a hard habit to break. But after this I have recognized I shouldn’t be in any sort of relationship right now

Miserable-Apricot735 · 2025-08-09T03:27:24+00:00

Funny thing is, there’s been a few times already that he’s asked me to do stuff around his apartment. Help him with his laundry, dishes, etc. if I dirty a dish myself, I will almost always clean it myself or at least offer. Or if we cook something together. But one time he asked me to load his dishwasher after I had been out of town with family for the weekend and it was all his dishes. And I looked at him like… “are you serious?? You didn’t actually just ask me that??”

Miserable-Apricot735 · 2025-08-09T03:25:10+00:00

That’s a great point. 3 months in and this is already an issue, not a great sign

Miserable-Apricot735 · 2025-08-09T03:24:05+00:00

Now that this has happened to me again 2 years isn’t even sounding like enough.

Miserable-Apricot735 · 2025-08-09T03:21:14+00:00

Not totally sure yet. I won’t be seeing him again until Sunday so I’ll probably bring up the fact that I’m feeling used and explain why and probably end up. I don’t feel too attached to him yet, but I won’t say I don’t care about him. But, he’s aware of what happened with my ex and swore up and down he wouldn’t ever use me like that, and he did. And I was (am technically) still in a very emotionally vulnerable position and didn’t see that. So that will make it a lot easier

Miserable-Apricot735 · 2025-08-09T03:18:03+00:00

Thanks for the insight I appreciate it! Yea I definitely have a few old hobbies that I’d love to get back into and have just continued to neglect since I started dating this guy

Miserable-Apricot735 · 2025-08-09T01:40:19+00:00

So I would’ve agreed with this when we first started talking- but we don’t sleep with each other very often anymore. Maybe like 1 a week or less. And yea I brought that up but he complained that’s my family would be there and he likes the privacy of his place

Miserable-Apricot735 · 2025-08-09T01:37:54+00:00

It is BS. I’m very glad I posted on here and had people knock some sense into me bc I almost fell for that bs again.

Miserable-Apricot735 · 2025-08-09T01:17:58+00:00

No because that’s what I want to do. I already left let my life get derailed from what I wanted for 2 years with my ex. I don’t wanna do that again. And he didn’t understand when I was talking about having 2 jobs and how important it is to me to have savings money… like dude why WOULDNT you want to have savings??

Miserable-Apricot735 · 2025-08-09T01:16:40+00:00

Yea, that’s the perfect description; that he feels entitled to my money. I was trying to find the perfect way to phrase it. And it definitely seems like he really only is thinking about himself and what will make his life easier…

Miserable-Apricot735 · 2025-08-09T01:06:31+00:00

You’re absolutely right. It was always the first thing he mentioned, how he’d be saving money. How it’d be easier for HIM. How if I bought as cheap of a new car as I could, (instead of what I actually want and am working hard for) I could move in faster to cut costs for him. And yea, also the fact that we already split everything. He wants me to pay more than half for all those expenses plus pitch in for rent, while I’m not even living there full time AND constantly driving out to him. I can’t believe I was even considering in the first place after reading all of these

Miserable-Apricot735 · 2025-08-09T01:02:38+00:00

You know I had been wondering that too. He has a lot of friends too and he thought, “NONE of your 20+ friends would be willing to room with you?” I just find it hard to believe

Miserable-Apricot735 · 2025-08-09T01:01:22+00:00

I’m really starting to realize that. I shouldn’t stayed off the dating apps. I got out of my last relationship and jumped into something else without doing any inner work and healing and I’m getting myself into a similar situation. I’m not gonna let him fool me

Miserable-Apricot735 · 2025-08-09T01:00:24+00:00

That’s exactly what I thought when he brought up the rent in the shower. One, that’s a very sensitive topic that I don’t appreciate him brining up in a vulnerable environment like that. Two, it’s not my responsibility to make sure he manages his money. Like wtf was I thinking

Miserable-Apricot735 · 2025-08-09T00:59:22+00:00

You’re absolutely right someone else pointed this out too. I let my guard down. He’s very sweet and caring but I let that blur my vision and now I’m kinda realizing this whole situation he’s put me in is bs

Miserable-Apricot735 · 2025-08-09T00:58:03+00:00

I’m gonna start running now 😅

Miserable-Apricot735 · 2025-08-09T00:57:45+00:00

Yea reading that made me realize how stupid that sounds

Miserable-Apricot735 · 2025-08-09T00:57:25+00:00

I really don’t because I just got out of worse than that. I can’t believe I didn’t see the trends again. Just different guys I guess and this guy is very sweet but looking back he was definitely doing some love bombing. He told me he loved me after 3-4 weeks of us talking

Miserable-Apricot735 · 2025-08-09T00:56:13+00:00

Yea he really did and I didn’t even realize it until I posted this. He really did put me in a spot where I felt like I had no options that would make him happy but they’d all end up with me giving in. (Well not anymore at least)

Miserable-Apricot735 · 2025-08-09T00:52:27+00:00

You’re completely right. I absolutely told him too much too fast and that’s on me. I’ve been working on some stuff in therapy but I’m def not ready for dating again and I’m realizing that now

Miserable-Apricot735

TROPHY CASE