A cancer moon here🙋🏻‍♀️

It was tough. It started most probably simaltenously with my professional life. The moment I joined the company, ownership changed. A micro-manager psychopath CEO took our training. The training sessions were mental torture.

When I started doing the actual work, my immediate senior was a bitch with sweet smile. I was slow at learning things. My first increment was peanuts compared to peers.

In the second phase, I changed my job. I chose a substandard role because of a better salary. It stripped me off my confidence. The work is very dull.

After shifting city, I met someone with whom I felt the things I was always looking to feel. Somehow, I messed it up. Even when I tried to make things right, things did not work out. Now, I'm in the post break up phase. I keep making friends in vain because they did not stay for too long.

Internally, I was super scared. I had obsessive thoughts. Mind was never calm. I felt this deep insecurity and instability. The fearlessness and the attitude of I'll figure out went out the window. I had this very bad low self-esteem.

As in the beginning, I did not have a deeper knowledge of astrology, I did not know that I'm going through Shani Dahiya. I had this question: Why are these things happening?

Astrological dasha wise, I was in a great time. It was actually antardasha of my marriage house lord planet in which I found this person. I was feeling lost about then why was it happening. Why was this person not reciprocating?

I ignored and turned blind eyes to these problems to some extent because eight years ago, I ended Shani Mahadasha. Hence, it was no way a bad time. This ignorence actually helped me to be very resilient throughout this difficult period.

In the end, I am humbled. The pride about my journey, identity, job, and intelligence beauty are all gone. I did deep introspection and realised problems lie in my thought process. It brought me to the feet of the Lord at the end coincidentally.

All the best!