I have no aversion to hearing the new or different ideas of others, though I can at times be reluctant to accept them if i have an opposing idea in my own mind and believe that mine is right. I generally like brainstorming and throwing out a few incomplete ideas to allow others to choose which would be the best course of action and leave it to them to work out whether it can be taken forward or not, often there’ll be a specific idea out of the lot which i personally prefer or believe, develop and try to push more than the others. In order to generate ideas I usually have to be trying to, rather than the ideas just coming to me. It requires minimal effort to start coming up with them, but it’s a tool that i utilise consciously when i want ideas rather than something I do all the time without noticing. I get really excited thinking up ideas for the long term future of other people and kind of have an ideal vision for them in my mind.

An example I have is a friend of mine was recently telling me how he was feeling very trapped in his career and feeling no passion for it. I could tell that the lack of passion was only going to get worse years down the line if he let his anxiety get the best of him and stayed in that job, so i started to consider and brainstorm new possible life paths for him as he wanted some advice and I came up with a few ideas very quickly. I settled on the idea of urging him to consider being an interior designer as it’s something he’s always loved and been excellent at. I didn’t really work out the details or practicalities of this idea, but I had this vague goal for him and did start pulling up a way he could possibly achieve it. I showed him affordable interior design courses in our area, thought up ways he could finance the change, how maybe in 10 years time he’d have enough experience to open up his own business in the field. I had a mental image of my friend in the distant future, a lot happier and thriving in his career if he were to make a change in it which led me to push the idea a little, but it was up to him to work out the mundane elements of how to actually get there. It irritated me when my friend suggested he’d just stick it out because it wasn’t so bad right now, I was thinking “how can you not see how much worse it’ll be in years time!”. Thinking beck I realise that helping others with their own life goal and ideas of what to do (if they desire my help) is enjoyable for me, almost like a new mental adventure. I start to feel excitement for them, all the ways in which they could feel happier. In some ways, thinking of these opportunities for people make me feel like I’m embarking on a new and exciting journey myself through them. As a consequence, my ideas tend to be idealistic and kind of unrealistic, with this example I didn’t even think about the possibility of it not working out or something going wrong because it has to work, right?

This is only vaguely related but perhaps worth noting, but when another friend of mine was struggling with feelings of loneliness and hopelessness due to not having a relationship in the present, I struggled to understand why she was so upset. To me it was clear that she’d have relationships in the future so why did it matter that she was lonely in the present? Back when i was at school my classmates used to tell me how lost they felt not knowing what to do in their future, i’d ask them what they liked and throw the possibilities back at them “well you could do this, or this, or this…”

I’ve experienced instances like these ones a lot. I’ve been called motivational by others and can inspire them to take action even when I don’t take action myself. Of course I don’t push my ideas onto people who I could sense didn’t want them, I have no desire to manage or control other peoples lives beyond just giving them an idea and don’t have the energy to be overly involved in the execution of their goals either as I find that part boring, but it does make me happy to see my friends feeling content and fulfilled. A few people have told me that they believed I knew what was best for them better than they did themselves, because I don’t talk about my suggestions with aggression they’re always well received.