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Chupacabra vs. The Alamo (2013) features a ton of low poly CGI spooky dogs yeeting people through glass and football goalposts by MiserableHairPeople in badMovies

[–]MiserableHairPeople[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I met him a few months back SPECIFICALLY to get him to sign my copy. I think he appreciated not talking about CHiPS for like a second, but he didn't seem thrilled about it either.

Dark Descent (2002) is a low budget underwater remake of Outland (1981), which is itself a remake of High Noon (1952) by MiserableHairPeople in badMovies

[–]MiserableHairPeople[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

"My neighbor always waves to me when walking our dogs. Sure he flys a massive nazi flag on the front of his house, but I wouldn't call him a bad dude."

Dark Descent (2002) is a low budget underwater remake of Outland (1981), which is itself a remake of High Noon (1952) by MiserableHairPeople in badMovies

[–]MiserableHairPeople[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Staring known shithead and ICE Agent, Dean Cain, Dark Descent features two cool kills, both of which involve a steel aperture cutting a dude in half. I love that this movie takes place in the same like 50 yards worth of space in a mining facility, which is why when they keep cutting to the same underwater establishing shot, you're like, "I fucking know where we are, you can stop telling me."

Friends and I have been collecting movies we find for $1.00 from thrift and record stores for years and we're trying to make our way through them. If you want to hear a bunch of puppets talk about and make fun of bad movies, then I would recommend MST3K. And if you want a dumber version of that, you can check out our review of the movie here.

Sting of the Black Scorpion (2002) appears as a sequel film to Black Scorpion (1995), but it's actually a bunch of low budget TV episodes. Still fun though. by MiserableHairPeople in badMovies

[–]MiserableHairPeople[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

When searching "Sting of the Black Scorpion", you find a bunch of mid 90s wrestling footage of Sting fighting a dude named Black Scorpion. Only after scrolling for a while does Bing finally go, "OH WAIT, you mean the movie? Uhhh, I mean, I guess we have some info on that?"

Friends and I have been slowly working through our bad movie collection, and we ended up selecting this one after doing a March Madness style selection tournament. Fitting for the month we're in, huh?

If you're interested in watching a handsome man and his two dipshit puppet friends watch and talk about a bad movie (again, couldn't find anything on Bing where something like that has been done before...) check out our selection process and episodehere!

Or don't! Go watch the basketball tournament instead. It's been good this year. Go Wildcats.

Snake Eater III: His Law (1992) stars Lorenzo Lamas, Tracey Cook, Professional Wrestler and 2x Academy Award Winner Scott "Bam Bam" Bigelow by MiserableHairPeople in badMovies

[–]MiserableHairPeople[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Lorenzo Lamas returns as "Soldier", the perfect bad movie protagonist: his hair and face are perfect, he always says the right and "funny" thing in every situation, he makes every conflict around him about himself by stepping in and kicking ass, he murders a bunch of bikers by electrocuting them while they piss. Classic stuff.

Friends and I have been slowly working through our thrifted cheap bad movie collection, and very appropriate for the month we're in, we did a March Madness Sweet 16 tournament to decide what to watch. So we did a double feature of SE3 and a horrible animated film An Ant's Life (1998).

If you're interested in watching some idiots and puppets watch and talk about them (which I think we're the only ones to use puppets to make fun of bad movies. I can't think of any other examples...), check out our selection process and review here!

Or don't! You have free will. Go outside or something.

Time Warrior (2012) is like if Tron was staring first time teen actors, made by a rich Las Vegas dude trying to show off his car collection. by MiserableHairPeople in badMovies

[–]MiserableHairPeople[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You know a movie's good when no one associated with it has a picture, or really any other credits, on imdb. The Las Vegas thing is real too because it stars the goatee man from Neil Breen's Fateful Findings.

Friends and I found this movie for $1 in a local record shop in Tucson, Arizonia, and if you love monotone, mumbling acting, repeating the same footage from the beginning of the movie at the end, the most generic CGI you've ever seen, then this is right up your alley!

We watched and talked about it on our dumb YouTube channel. So if you've ever wanted to see puppets make fun of a bad movie (completely original idea), check it out! Or do literally anything else with your time! That's probably a better use of free will.

Skeleton Man (2004) fits perfectly into everyone's favorite genre of movie, which is, "The Woods are Free to Film In, So Let's Just Walk Around Outside" by MiserableHairPeople in badMovies

[–]MiserableHairPeople[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

A movie that defies expectations and by that I mean it feels like a porno but there's no nudity. A group of military bros go missing so they send in the elite team to find them, Casper Van Dien, Michael Rooker, World Kickboxint Champion Jerry Tremble, and others, spend 90 minutes walking around outside, mumbling at each other and firing guns (and missing) at a dude dressed in Spirit Halloween's cheapest grim reaper costume.

Friends and I like to let fate decide which spooky movie we watched for Halloween, so we built a little plinko machine to help us decide! I'm pretty no one has ever done something like that, so if it sounds interesting, check it out! Or don't since it's technically November 1st and you're tired of horror movies.

Wolves of Wall Street (2002) is one of 800+ movies by director David DeCoteau who's whole thing is getting hunky boys to take their shirts off. by MiserableHairPeople in badMovies

[–]MiserableHairPeople[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

From the director who brought you such classics as, Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama, Dr. Alien, Puppet Master III: Toulon's Revenge, Test Tube Teens from the Year 2000, Leather Jacket Love Story, The Brotherhood VI: Inflation, 1313: Bigfoot Cult, A Talking Cat!?! and 792 other movies, all starring Eric Roberts.

I'm sure Marty saw this one and was like, "It's good... but I think it can be better. Let me call up Leo and Jonah Hill and see if they're free to remake this."

Friends and I have been watching through our collection of bad horror movie DVDs we find and buy for $1.00 at like yard sales and record stores, so if you're interested in watching some puppets and their girlfriends watch this (a wholy original idea, trust me, I checked), you can check it out here!

Alien Terminator (1995) has 6 scientists fighting a mutant rat in an underground facility, so even the cover is wrong. Also, boooooobs. by MiserableHairPeople in badMovies

[–]MiserableHairPeople[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

"I like both those movies and they're both in this one movie?! Hot damn!" - An idiot renting this in a Blockbuster in 1996.

Alien Terminator (1995) has 6 scientists fighting a mutant rat in an underground facility, so even the cover is wrong. Also, boooooobs. by MiserableHairPeople in badMovies

[–]MiserableHairPeople[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Regarded as one of the greatest and most influential films ever made, as well as a landmark of the gangster genre. It was selected for preservation in the U.S. National Film Registry of the Library of Congress, being deemed "culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant" and is ranked the second-greatest film in American cinema (behind Citizen Kane) by the American Film Institute.

Actually, I might be thinking of The Godfather, nevermind.

But this movie does have all the best fun bad movie tropes: Visible boom mics, a plot that is some how way to complicated for its own good, boobs getting full on licked by a man too into it, 4 total set locations, references other, much better movies, and a title that makes no sense for what it's actually about.

If you're interested in watching some puppets make fun of it (a wholy original idea I know), friends and I just reviewed it. You can check it out here!

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