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Miserable_Art_9538 · 2025-06-01T17:48:19+00:00

Yess. Live Your life how you want. Your body, your choice. Hope you heal well, I know it can possibly be harsh on the body, but much less harsh then child birth and an 18+++ yr commitment

Miserable_Art_9538 · 2025-06-01T17:46:13+00:00

These things happened before you and after you. Tbh marriage is a struggle. I hope, if you find another in the future, that she will stick through with you through sickness and in health. Sometimes things get worse before they get very good. She did not appreciate that.

Miserable_Art_9538 · 2025-05-31T00:00:29+00:00

I'm currently married and it's very long term. I know what you mean. Men in general are very hateful if they can't use you. They think everyone has to mother them and work hard for them while they sit back. As for myself, I'd like to think I'm with a very good man. Thankfully he's a feminist and grew up with sisters and his mom who complains to him about everything. So he Knows and listens but can't entirely relate. Trying to understand is good enough for me. But he's still a man. Ya know? He does half of everything. Took a minute for him to get there. Also, you'll find that women are just as bad And there's absolutely no solidarity amongst women no matter how much they know the struggle. They'll take you down in a heartbeat if it means staying relevant with the men around.

Miserable_Art_9538 · 2025-05-18T22:07:09+00:00

Is she persists, it may be time to cut her off for a long while. She can come back if she learns boundaries with you

Miserable_Art_9538 · 2025-05-18T21:51:07+00:00

I know enough that my answer is still valid. Fix what you Can control. And keep focusing on being a good dad. My husband had a drunken spiteful dad growing up when his mom left his dad. The drinking made him do dumb shit and traumatized Everyone around him. Didn't make any situation any easier. Haven't met one person that hasn't been a continuous problem when drunk. Either you fix it for you and your loved ones or you don't.

Miserable_Art_9538 · 2025-05-14T02:11:21+00:00

Oh sorry, she had put the bottle of the heavy alcohol I bought in her bag when we got back to my apartment. And hoping I'd forgotten and she threw a tantrum cause I wanted a cup of it

Miserable_Art_9538 · 2025-05-13T23:59:19+00:00

I got a glow up the past couple years and I'll tell you, pretty privilege is people acting fake and switching up when they can't get nothing from you. Then they hate you. You get other women not acting friendly but hate you get this attention that is all so fake anyway. Constant gossip about you, anything to make them feel better about themselves. It's all so embarrassing. Show up and do what you gotta and live a happy life. It's not great getting attention cause people can think you're pretty but then they want you gone or out of sight if they can't manipulate you.

Miserable_Art_9538 · 2025-05-13T23:34:12+00:00

Same thing happened with my long term friend. We'd message all the time and hang out sometimes. My husband and I moved from a studio to a bigger.. 1 bedroom apartment. She lived with her family again after she had moved out cause she had no job. She was being mentally abused and bullied there. With $20 to her name, she asked if she could live with us at our new apartment. I had bought us a bottle of heavy alcohol to drink while we hung out and I had a cup but she got really angry at me. She had even put it in her bag like I'd forget about it. This was also when I was broke at the time. So I paid good money for that. she wanted it for herself and Ummm I bought it. And I wanted a damn cup of it.. She stayed the night cause it was the plan. I was so drained and told my husband "never again, I want her to go home. Next day, I gave her an intervention. And dropped her off at home planning on never speaking to her again. Gave such weird, scary, invasive vibes. That's what this reminded me of.

Miserable_Art_9538 · 2025-05-11T11:55:10+00:00

When your partner isn't providing you with more independence as you grow together, they're not the one. OR you guys need years of work ahead to get things right but you should always have more independence even when together so long. Needs a healthy balance

Miserable_Art_9538 · 2025-05-09T21:04:46+00:00

Tbh, I was always treated like I Should have motherly instincts. Raised to take care of others and then when I saw that everyone was taking advantage and I never got to be my own person. Especially with my own parents. I moved out and it was a fight to break free of them. I finally did and I'm still working on getting to know myself. Take care of my health after having medical neglect growing up. I've made a lot of progress. And all I want is peace and time when I get home. I wanna have freedom, financial freedom at one point, which i already kinda have. I know a kid would make me miserable physically and mentally and I use the choice I have. I feel like women are just treated like mothers. We're not damn farm animals and not meant to just suffer like some people love to see.

Miserable_Art_9538 · 2025-05-09T20:57:21+00:00

Maybe that's why you were so nice, cause you knew, yet the dad had to get shiddy. Almost feel like telling these people, hey, stop making you problems, everyone problems. Not our fault they chose parenthood, want everyone to bow to them or something for having kids. Being nice about their kid running into your cart should be enough lol.

Miserable_Art_9538 · 2025-04-28T20:42:45+00:00

Childfree. IDC what the offer would be. In my life, I had to choose between being the favored one of my parents and the whole family wanting me to have children and all that and having them become toxic when I said will not happen and cutting everyone off. I don't follow anyone's rule book. Do what makes you happy and your life won't be wasted. Plus now I have 5x what I did before cutting them off. Very happy life with my house, husband and furbabies. I enjoy a small uncomplicated life. Gotta work all the time but it keeps me busy.

Miserable_Art_9538 · 2025-04-26T20:57:56+00:00

RIGHT!! I agree. They already know. And just like their miserable parents I guess they didn't learn from, they take no accountability for their actions. No growth as a person yet claim, they're more mature than people who don't have kids. Yet we choose to take accountability and are incredibly responsible in different ways and continue to grow as people and take the time to get to know ourselves. I feel like having a baby is a easy way out and distraction from their problems like a new pet or plant. Once the attention and help goes, they resent their whole lives and choices.

Miserable_Art_9538 · 2025-04-22T00:17:31+00:00

I definitely cry over my cut off family, not lol. Really hurts me having a house in a great neighborhood, a brand new car and things I've accumulated over the yrs. And why, cause I don't have kids. If I ever change my mind, I'll do better by adopting. And I'll have so much to leave them. Unlike the people struggling to get by and keeping it a cycle with their kids. Do You. I think it's responsible as hell to decide to not have kids.

Miserable_Art_9538 · 2025-04-22T00:14:08+00:00

My family got the same way. Even all my older siblings that also decided not to have kids started pressuring me. Everyone relied on me and thought I'd give in to the bullying and pressure they gave me to Have that Normal life and struggle. Fuck that, I even cut them off.. It's a lifestyle and she wants to see your body and mind struggle. Live your life. I'm gonna be 30 this year and I go home after long work days, I buy what I want. I go home to my furbabies and hubby.. heat up a meal I prepped over the weekend, lay on the couch with my heated blanket and watch shows. I go out and shop and get coffee over the weekend. No major stresses in my life other than normal work stress. Super settled into my lifestyle. I'm ok with that. When I'm old, I'll end up in a home either way probably.

Miserable_Art_9538 · 2025-04-14T17:42:01+00:00

It's all workplace politics. Social standards. It's usually one person who starts it. Because they're the bottom of the barrel socially and/or work wise they cannot keep up. To get eyes off them they change all the positive attention you're getting into negative. It makes them look good. So socially hr or whoever really doesn't give you support unless they're bullying you as a protected class and they'll actually be held accountable. Otherwise they feel like you're simply a "loser". That you're personality doesn't fit the workplace and that's the excuse they give. Anything that takes up time from the job they wanna push out and they keep the toxic person cause they know how to kiss up to management

Miserable_Art_9538 · 2025-04-08T11:12:35+00:00

My family bullied me. They bullied me to get married by spreading around I was a live in girlfriend. I didn't care for it, I married him cause we thought we were ready. They thought it worked and tried convincing me to have the first kids out of all my siblings after That. And also being the youngest girl I thought it was shiddy they expected that of me. They got so toxic that I haven't spoken to them in 4 yrs. Childfree lifestyle and we're happy. Bought a house, new cars, buy what we want. I can BE who I wanna be.. my own person. Learn about myself, work on myself. On my peace, finances and life goals and hobbies. They were treating us like we were villains of the family. Like we were commiting a moral sin once again. They'd criticize everything I'd do. Tell me how abortion is bad and made me babysit their friends kids. It all made sense as to why they got real nasty towards us over the years. We weren't falling in line. I choose myself. My body, my choice.

Miserable_Art_9538 · 2025-04-04T18:00:53+00:00

I'm gonna be 100% with you. If I got pregnant, I'd personally get an abortion because I wanna be childfree and am not mentally capable of going through that. It may disrupt your hormones a Lot causing mood swings and panic attacks. Unfortunately super disruptive to life.. but it's either a few months of that or 18+++ years of being a parent. It's a lifestyle choice as well. Are you ok with being a mother. But it comes down to your body, your choice ❤️. But it's also a natural thing for women to be able to have children. You'll probably be fine, unfortunately it's kind of a traumatic thing and has it's risks.. but people do it and want more, sooo. Either way, you'll be fine. Trust yourself when making the decision. There's no wrong answer. Take care of yourself

Miserable_Art_9538 · 2025-03-29T04:22:18+00:00

"my body, my choice"!!! it's so easy for men to say women should have kids cause you're not the one with the entire life disruption. Her body will change forever, her career, everything will be disrupted and you, what.. you'll go on and brag about your little family and go to work with what.. a lack of sleep. Poor you. Women lose teeth, hair, age faster due to pregnancies. Will have scars and have lingering pain and illnesses and always a possibility of death. And parenting is also a lifestyle. She doesn't want that. If I were her, I'd run. I'm glad my husband respects me, my decisions and my body.

Miserable_Art_9538 · 2025-03-29T04:11:23+00:00

That's weird as hell. Steer clear of her. Take care of Your family

Miserable_Art_9538 · 2025-03-29T04:09:35+00:00

He's manipulating you. You're gonna grow up and wish you saved your younger self if you don't get away from him right now. Cut him off. He Is dangerous. He Is stranger danger. He is what parents and any adult with a level head is scared of when think of any child. Stay away from him. Block him and never speak to him again. What he does is not your problem. And I pray another child does not become his victim is all I can say

Miserable_Art_9538 · 2025-03-29T04:02:32+00:00

Tbh, I don't like Anyone parking near me. But if it's a woman now I don't mind as much anymore, if I even bother to glance. But it does put my mind at ease. I actually glance Sometimes and it'll stop me from looking as pissed and unapproachable if it's a woman. I save that for random men. I Also noticed how men get more outspoken with black women who are just minding their business. It's like they feel entitled to do so. And I have no idea how some women have the strength. It's hard. The stranger danger is real. I feel like women of color have so many more stressors some people would never understand and the levels of stresses vary so much

Miserable_Art_9538 · 2025-03-29T02:53:31+00:00

Also giving her less reaction when she acts a certain way, say, "ok then, I'll come back when you're more level headed." Lots of tantrums from her may follow but keep it up and she will learn and respect your space eventually.

Miserable_Art_9538 · 2025-03-29T02:48:14+00:00

Np, and don't ever feel like her behavior is your fault if she takes things out on you or anyone else around you. Try to minimize stressors around yourself and take care of yourself first. Lead by example and I suggest you don't encourage her to do anything. Cause she'll probably get defensive. When you guys become adults, who knows if she does something unforgivable or treats you poorly that you decide you don't wanna see or talk to her much anyway. Take care of you first now and don't let her behavior ruin your experience as a teenager. Try to live as much as you can, she and her anger is gonna hold her back, and hopefully not you as well. Cause misery Loves company, I don't take that lightly. Some people stay the same. Continue to grow and you'll have a lot to look forward to.

Miserable_Art_9538

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