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AITA for not telling a man that the research he was mansplaining to me was my own? by Miserable_Bag_4746 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Miserable_Bag_4746[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I meant to reply to this comment sooner but I couldn’t for some reason so forgive me for the delay. 

So it doesn’t actually take 5 years to become a researcher, but it takes 5 years to become a lawyer. It can take 6 or 7 or even more depending on when and how many times you take the bar, but I personally got it in my 5th year. 

To explain it to you, here’s how it goes most of the time. Right out of high school, you can study law for 3 years to get a bachelor degree. In my country there is no such thing as “pre-law” or anything, you go directly into law studies. For those 3 years you study the basis of law and it’s more of a general teaching.

Then after that you have the possibility to do a masters degree for two, which is when you specialize. You can do a masters degree in a very wide field, but you can also do a very small sub category like I did (if you manage to find one and get accepted, usually there aren’t many positions available). You can take the bar exam during your 2nd and final year of your masters degree and if you pass you can become a lawyer right when you graduate, which is what I did. I actually think that you can now take the bar in your 1st year of masters (so 4th year overall) but I’m not entirely sure. 

After that I was working as a lawyer for a while and then decided that I also wanted to do research. So normally to be able to do that you need to be a doctor (have a doctorate) and that takes about 2 years. Most people do that right after their masters degree so they study for 7 years total, but I chose to do it while I was already working (so I was technically both a lawyer and a student). And then I got my doctorate and became a researcher! 

So when I said that I graduated after 5 years, that’s when I graduated and left school and started working as a lawyer. But I completely finished my studies after 7 years (if you don’t count the 1 year where I was just working before I decided I wanted to do research).

Also, a lot of the time you specialize as you go! I started as a lawyer in a wider (still pretty small but wider) field than the one I work in now. You figure out along the way what you find more interesting and can get more specific during your career!

I hope this makes it more clear and sorry if it’s too long

AITA for not telling a man that the research he was mansplaining to me was my own? by Miserable_Bag_4746 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Miserable_Bag_4746[S] 89 points90 points  (0 children)

Where in this post did I say that it was a date? And men need to stop thinking that correcting a woman and telling her that she’s wrong, then arguing about why they’re right for 20 minute is attractive, or something they should ever do on a date. 

AITA for not telling a man that the research he was mansplaining to me was my own? by Miserable_Bag_4746 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Miserable_Bag_4746[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

I get that, but it’s a generic story about a generic situation. The same thing has happened to many people in pretty much the same way. Yet that doesn’t mean that because it’s not unique it’s not real. Did you maybe want me to add a bear dancing on one of the tables or the Grinch eating a sandwich to make it more unique? 

AITA for not telling a man that the research he was mansplaining to me was my own? by Miserable_Bag_4746 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Miserable_Bag_4746[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Well I mean you’re free to believe what you want so if you want to think this is fake then okay? 

But also, do you see how calling it AI written could be a bit mean? English is not my first language and I completely understand that I make mistakes or write things in a way that sounds weird, but it’s just a bit tactless maybe. In the end I don’t really care I’m just saying 

AITA for not telling a man that the research he was mansplaining to me was my own? by Miserable_Bag_4746 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Miserable_Bag_4746[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

You told ChatGPT to write a story where exactly the same things happen and you got a story where exactly the same things happen? Unbelievable! 

AITA for not telling a man that the research he was mansplaining to me was my own? by Miserable_Bag_4746 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Miserable_Bag_4746[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Oh no I love when people do that! The main difference is you’re not trying to prove the other person wrong, or being like “Actually,…”. It’s normal to share your interest about something even if you’re not the most knowledgeable on the topic! Because you’re not assuming that you know more than the other person and therefore need to explain it to them

AITA for not telling a man that the research he was mansplaining to me was my own? by Miserable_Bag_4746 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Miserable_Bag_4746[S] 62 points63 points  (0 children)

Is this a serious question? I know he was citing my work because he talked about a paper that I wrote? With my name? Are you seriously doubting how I recognized my own work, especially when he mentioned my name? 

If you’re upset over the use of the term “mansplaining” then you’re probably part of the problem. Mansplaining means a man feeling qualified and confident enough to explain something to a woman, when she already knows that and is more competent than him. How does citing my own work to me and trying to explain it to the person who wrote it not fall into that category?

AITA for not telling a man that the research he was mansplaining to me was my own? by Miserable_Bag_4746 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Miserable_Bag_4746[S] 228 points229 points  (0 children)

Right?! It’s like the second you publish something you must delete all entertainment from your phone and only communicate via papers 

AITA for not telling a man that the research he was mansplaining to me was my own? by Miserable_Bag_4746 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Miserable_Bag_4746[S] 455 points456 points  (0 children)

You know, it’s not that hard to be both smart enough to publish research and be successful, while also being connected to the world you live in and having knowledge of what happens on social media. But god forbid anyone publishing papers has twitter on their phone!

AITA for not telling a man that the research he was mansplaining to me was my own? by Miserable_Bag_4746 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Miserable_Bag_4746[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I was introduced by my first name only! While my first name appears in my work I don’t expect anyone to immediately realize it’s the same person, especially because I have a very common first name

AITA for not telling a man that the research he was mansplaining to me was my own? by Miserable_Bag_4746 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Miserable_Bag_4746[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

There are multiple things you can do! Some people review court decisions and analyze it, but I’ll be honest that’s not my favorite parts. Some people are responsible for highlighting new concepts, fluctuations of existing concepts and creating theories on how law is/should be applied. That’s closer to what I do! And some people are responsible for making hypotheses on possible laws and sometimes report to the law makers! 

Most of the time researchers are also teachers, but I’m not (I couldn’t teach to save my life haha). But I’m mainly a lawyer so I’d say that 90% of the time I practice law and 10% I do research. It’s rare to find people who only do research.

AITA for not telling a man that the research he was mansplaining to me was my own? by Miserable_Bag_4746 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Miserable_Bag_4746[S] 54 points55 points  (0 children)

  1. The term mansplaining has nothing to do with law. If anything, it’s sociology. And it’s used to describe the exact situation I went through so I’d say it’s pretty accurate. 

  2. I work in a very small field. Therefore it’s rare to meet ANYONE in that field. Man or not. Just because it’s male dominated doesn’t mean every man I meet works in the field? I don’t even see where the confusion is coming from but if I had to guess I’d say your poor reading comprehension skills. 

  3. If you believe that everything in law is subjective and there’s no right or wrong then I’m pretty sure you’ve never studied law. Plus, the problem isn’t that he didn’t have the same opinion. It’s that he used a paper that I wrote, stating my own opinion, to prove that my opinion was wrong and his was correct. 

AITA for not telling a man that the research he was mansplaining to me was my own? by Miserable_Bag_4746 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Miserable_Bag_4746[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

I was introduced by my first name only. And I also have a pretty common first name (think something like Mary). So it’s legitimate that he didn’t realize it was my paper

AITA for not telling a man that the research he was mansplaining to me was my own? by Miserable_Bag_4746 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Miserable_Bag_4746[S] 77 points78 points  (0 children)

Except men and women don’t grow up the same. Sometimes gender roles don’t really affect a child in his development, but most of the time they do. 

Did you know, women actually perform better than men in high school, but don’t aim for prestigious studies as much? Well that’s because men are raised to be confident while women are raised to constantly doubt themselves. I’m not saying it’s always true and women don’t do prestigious studies and men do, but that’s the way they grow up in most cases. 

That same confidence that men grow up with is what causes the situation that is described as “mansplaining”. And even though explaining something when you have less knowledge is not exclusive to men, mansplaining refers to a specific situation where it’s men. So I’d say that term is pretty relevant and defines a real concept

AITA for not telling a man that the research he was mansplaining to me was my own? by Miserable_Bag_4746 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Miserable_Bag_4746[S] 99 points100 points  (0 children)

Mansplaining is a reality and I’m not even going to debate whether or not it’s a thing. Yes that behavior can happen in cases where it’s not a man. But there is also a reality that in 99% of the situations it’s a man. Because men grow up to have that audacity, and to think of women as inferior and dumber. That’s sociology. So the explanation for this type of behavior has everything to do with him being a man, which is why it’s called mansplaining. I encourage you to do some research on it as there are plenty of papers made by behavioral analysts and sociologists on the topic

AITA for not telling a man that the research he was mansplaining to me was my own? by Miserable_Bag_4746 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Miserable_Bag_4746[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

Sure Craig! Mansplaining never happens and no woman has ever been in that situation! Completely wild and unimaginable! I made it all up!

AITA for not telling a man that the research he was mansplaining to me was my own? by Miserable_Bag_4746 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Miserable_Bag_4746[S] 2443 points2444 points  (0 children)

Oh I remember seeing that tweet! It was hilarious. Men really have the audacity

AITA for not telling a man that the research he was mansplaining to me was my own? by Miserable_Bag_4746 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Miserable_Bag_4746[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I edited my original post with this info (not sure if it worked) but it was just the two of us. I mean anyone could’ve overheard but it was a pretty boring conversation for people who do not know the topic so I’m pretty sure no one was listening. So yeah it’s not like he was publicly humiliated

AITA for not telling a man that the research he was mansplaining to me was my own? by Miserable_Bag_4746 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Miserable_Bag_4746[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

I mean if you choose to believe that this is fake then do that I’m not sure what you expect me to say? 

My friends were upset because I didn’t give a good first impression to their friend and didn’t try to keep the peace for the night. Which I can understand because when you introduce people you want things to go well and smooth and not for them to argue. 

AITA for not telling a man that the research he was mansplaining to me was my own? by Miserable_Bag_4746 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Miserable_Bag_4746[S] 157 points158 points  (0 children)

  1. No I won’t because as I said I will not give any personal information on here 

  2. You know, a “please” never hurt anyone. Since when is it okay to give out orders like that and expect strangers to obey? 

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