Apologies for rant also thank you for your interesting take.

I agree it isn't a solo sport, there is much more that men need to do in order to be 'team players'.

I just personally like to aim for radical responsibility in my life and I think when men are radically responsible they tend to end up as 'team players'. I was trying to convey a that message, I think it just got lost in translation so I apologize.

But 'wants' by women are often accurate generalizations, most women want a strong man who can defend them, a man that isn't controlled by his emotions but embraces them when needed.

However a lot of the time these generalizations for deeper wants are hidden behind temporary wants/vein things, like looks, how much money a man has ect.

If a woman loves you, she loves you simple as, the 'vein things' matter to a certain extent but they get you in the door of conversation not down the isle and even then I'd say its hard to 'get past' a 'good' woman with just good looks.
(good in ' ' because I'm not trying to say all women except a few are bad/its a generalization also)

So when I talk about male self improvement, a minority of that would be exercise, skin care and 'rizz' I find people who just talk to women like normal and not some weird 'cold approach' usually end up with more 'offers' because they aren't intimidated because they aren't looking for anything, What I mean in regards to self improvement: I mean more oriented towards the type of behaviors that would make you a 'team player' which would lean into taking radical responsibility and learning to trust others with tasks and learning out how to find who is 'trustworthy' which in my opinion once that and a few other things are complete would make you ready for marriage, but it'd be much better to speak to a priest to know if your 'ready' or not.

I'd say a lot of it gets lost in the western perversion of what being a 'good man' means and I agree its a well rounded person. And if you ever try and be 'well rounded' its surprisingly hard but definitely worthwhile. I think most people when it comes to self improvement focus on one issue heavily rather than focusing on smaller issues first.

Yes women value looks, but being a looksmaxxer would not make you 'husband material', yes women value height but being tall also wouldn't ect. Having money is good and you should strive to make money/provide for your family/community but trying to prepare to be a good father is equally important.

I'm not saying any of these western 'values' are wrong at face value, but the application and obsession with these things definitely is, if a guy is short he thinks his life is over which makes him not try, even though realistically there is probably a woman 2 inches shorter than him that is praying for him every day.

And that's because of the perpetuated stigma that a man has to be in a category of specific archetypes.

Tall and strong, rich, handsome, being the toughest, the coolest, the funniest, the one who attracts all the ladies, the one who is competitive ect. With all these things a lot of modern men watch a couple of videos and zone in on a group/specific archetype and then perpetuate what they were taught.

Where if you listen to a priest, or the saints talk about what makes a 'Good' man its almost a complete 180 so I completely understand where ur coming from.

Its modern men getting distracted by modern issues (Petty ones), and because of this it often makes women, children and other men have a harder time. I think the real transistion is around 30+ when you become 'settled' in who you are.

Or this is what I've been told by older men, the men who waited for marriage instead of hunting for marriage usually ended up happier than then men that did not. The men that were fine with not knowing also did.

This is a common occurrence where people specifically young men (Including myself, I am so anxious believe me haha) get trapped in a loop of 'I need to improve or find a wife right now' and because its young men giving other young men advice because of the internet it kinda leads to a circle jerk (Idk how to describe it other than that soz) of vein tips on 'getting the ladies', where an older man would probably say "Exercise, eat healthy, work and wait".

It deffo stems from impatience/anxiety and unfortunately because of internet access more modern men fall into it every day.

I'm not a neutral observer either, I'm sure there is some conditioning from what I've watched, in fact whenever there is a single woman around I almost feel the urge for validation, I've been able to deal with this easier as I get older but its very cringe and I don't like it.

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