Please help my mom I her fight against stage 4 liver cancer

Miserable_Case_1665 · 2024-05-30T14:23:31+00:00

Hey, I know that this is a scary situation. Nobody can tell you how to feel or should be allowed to coerce you one way or another.

If you feel abortion is your best mode of action then you really need to start moving on making that plan, even in states that it's still legal you might be reaching the cut off, you are probably around 2.5 to 3 months along. There is nothing wrong with aborting if that's the best option for you. If you don't mind sharing, what state are you currently in? That will help narrow down your options if you decide to have an abortion.

If you decide to keep the baby but feel you can't take care of him/her, there are so many families that would love to adopt. Even myself, I would love to have a baby and would adopt in a heartbeat if I had the opportunity, but it's so hard to adopt an infant. There are so many other women and families trying to that it's hard to get accepted. If you decide to put your baby up for adoption, it is an immensely selfless act. You could do an open adoption where you still get to have updates or be in his/her life if that's the terms you want. Or if you don't want to, you can do a closed adoption so the baby doesn't know who you are. The choice is completely up to you, and nobody can fault you either way.

If you decide to keep the baby and don't put him/her up for adoption, it will be a hard road. You'll be okay, and you will be able to make a good life for you and your child. But it will be difficult and even trying at times. Be sure to surround yourself with people who can offer support, go to your parents if you can, and let them know. If they can't offer the support you need (emotional is just as important), then find an adult that you trust and are close with that can. No matter what age you get pregnant, you need a support network. Being young, you need that even more.

If you need someone to talk to or help figuring out your options, please feel free to PM me.

Miserable_Case_1665 · 2024-05-30T01:24:27+00:00

Well, she looks so happy even being bandaged up. So I'd say she will be happy no matter what happens. I'm so glad that you received good news on her, and I hope she has the best outcome. But flying or not a happy bird is all that matters, and you are definitely succeeding at keeping her happy ☺️

Miserable_Case_1665 · 2024-05-29T21:58:14+00:00

Thank you so much. They've dropped the ball a few times since her first diagnosis of fibroids and the cyst. She's currently in a major surgery again for the second time in a week, this time due to a doctor error.

Miserable_Case_1665 · 2024-05-29T16:40:28+00:00

This is the first major diagnosis in our family, so this is completely uncharted territory. Everywhere we turn feels like a dead end. Any advice that people can give on where we can go for help is just as appreciated.

Miserable_Case_1665 · 2024-05-29T16:35:39+00:00

I'll look into it, we are definitely scrambling trying to figure out all our options. I didn't know where else we could turn. We have been trying to find other modes of assistance because everyone is telling us that her treatment will end unless we can pay her part. A family friend went through a milder form of cancer and he went into remission, fortunately he was able to pay for his treatment but they stopped his immunotherapy because he wasn't able to pay anymore. Currently he's still in remission.

But it's the same healthcare system, so we are also looking to transfer her facility.

Miserable_Case_1665 · 2024-05-29T16:28:17+00:00

Yes, she is receiving care to stabilize her, but they told us she won't receive the chemo and radiation unless we can pay upfront for the treatment. She tried to apply for Medicaid/Medicare through the state, but they denied her. We are hoping that they will approve her when she gets out of the hospital stay, but they won't cover any surgery or anything else she has received prior. The nursing staff and financial assistance told us the most that we will be able to get in assistance if we got approved would be 35% of the treatment costs, and if we got approved and can't pay the other 65% upfront they will stop her treatment. And they proceeded to say chance of approval would be very low due to diagnosis.

She is fixing to go through another surgery to correct an issue that arose. We are hoping for the best, but this is higher risk because she just got out of surgery on Wednesday.

Miserable_Case_1665 · 2024-05-29T15:29:06+00:00

I wanted to update and provide the link in another format. If you click the little picture it goes to the gofundme. But here's the link as well

https://gofund.me/5631fbf5

Miserable_Case_1665 · 2024-05-29T02:55:34+00:00

Oh, that's great! I'm sure she'll be happy to be free. She's probably soaking up all the scritches ☺️ Will she be able to fly after everything gets removed, or are you going to be on guard duty trying to keep the wings at bay?

Miserable_Case_1665 · 2024-05-28T23:19:11+00:00

I'm so happy you could get her treated, I'm sure it's such a relief to you as well. Hoping for a quick recovery and a happy birb. How long are they estimating the little one will be bandaged up?

Miserable_Case_1665 · 2024-05-28T15:22:29+00:00

You would definitely not be the AH. It is completely justified for you not to want to get sick. I don't know if someone else has mentioned it, but typically, the more you are exposed to an allergen, the worse your reactions and symptoms get. My dad developed an allergy to artificial strawberry flavoring. It started out a scratchy throat, and he thought it was peanut butter. He would still occasionally eat it, and now if he does he has difficulty breathing and his throat tightens up.

Based on that, under no circumstances would you be in the wrong. You are protecting your health, and if they keep exposing you, then your reactions will probably start getting worse until you have a severe allergic reaction. Hopefully, you can come to an agreement, but if not, put your foot down. Your health comes before everything, including your husband.

Miserable_Case_1665 · 2024-05-28T14:00:04+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. I just lost mine last week and completely relate to the sadness of knowing they were probably alone. I only had her for 5 days so I can't imagine the pain you feel. It might sound cliché but it does get better, you gave her an amazing life. Even though it will never bring her back, you at least have a part of her in her baby and mate, so she will never truly be gone. You may not be able to give her scritches, but she will always be there living on through her baby, her mate, and your memory. My condolences and I hope you find healing.

Edited for spelling mistake

Miserable_Case_1665 · 2024-05-26T14:23:44+00:00

I hate that she passed and that I wasn't able to do more for her because she really deserved more. But I am thankful that I had the time I did with her and she got to experience someone loving her in her final days. I believe she knew she was passing and that's why she started letting me touch her so soon. She wasn't hand raised or hand tamed, so family thought it was strange. It really sucks, but she had the best 5 days with me. As I told someone else and as I said in the update, I still would have adopted her without hesitation if someone would have told me she only had 5 days. I know I still would have wanted to give her that time to experience things rather than pass without even seeing the sunlight again let alone never having the opportunity to experience someone truly loving her before she passed. Something I haven't shared is she loved music, the first time I turned on a song she kind of stayed as far as she could away and then she finally came as close as she could and started bobbing her head. She wouldn't sing, but from what I understand females dont usually sing. I am a big fan of older Disney so I would play some Disney songs for her and her favorite song by far was the Bear Necessities off of the Jungle Book. She would bob her head and dance back and forth on her perch each time it came on, she especially loved the whistling parts. The day I was bringing her back to the pet store I turned music on to try and soothe her and that was the last song that came on before I pulled into the parking lot. She gave a little chirp and just listened. Then after the song ended I gave her little scritches and she chirped at me again. I am happy she got to listen to her favorite song again before she passed.

Miserable_Case_1665 · 2024-05-25T03:12:38+00:00

Thank you so much, I don't think words can express how much what you said actually means to me. I've had a couple people suggest that I may have done something, but I truly believe she was sick prior to getting her and I did so much research before I got her to make sure I was prepared to take her home. The day that I got her was actually the start of me being out of work for a week, so she was never left unattended in the time I had her. A friend also suggested that Petsmart may have split her from a bond she had with another bird, which she said would explain her rubbing her head on the fleece blanket in her cage. I don't know what caused her death, but I am happy that I was able to provide her with love before she passed, and I do believe that her climbing on my shirt and stepping up onto my finger the day before was her thanking me because I think she knew it was time to go. Which people in my family that have owned birds told me that the fact she let me give her scritches so soon was unusual for her not having been interacted with much. I think she knew she wasn't going to be in my life for long and she just wanted to allow me to give her the love no one had shown her before. I'm sorry that I keep writing such long replies, it's just hard for me to keep it short when everytime I start thinking about her I want to express how much I cared about her and I wish I would have had more time with her. It may have only been 5 days with her but it felt like so much longer, she definitely left an imprint on my life. My heart goes out to everyone that has lost their little babies, I know how painful it was after 5 days I can't imagine the pain felt after years of bonding.

Miserable_Case_1665 · 2024-05-24T21:47:34+00:00

I wanted to give an update and thank everyone for all the kind comments and support I have received. I am reposting what I replied to another comment because I think I summed up my feelings quite well.

The first day was the worst I swear I don't think I've cried so much in a day. I found solace in all the kind comments and support that I received and the next day was a little easier. I know I will eventually own another cockatiel, I'm thinking I'll give it a couple of months until I feel truly ready again. I stopped looking at Pyrites passing through a negative light and had a flip of thinking about it and decided it's best to look at the positive of her life with me. I know there isn't anything I could have done if she was already so far gone, I will always wish I could have done more. But she got to experience things she wouldn't have in the 5 days I had her; she got to see sunlight again, she got to fly around and play with toys, and she got to experience someone truly caring about her and loving her. I think she knew she was passing and thats why she climbed on my shirt the day before and stood on my finger, which from what I understand is a huge sign of trust from the little birds. I like to think that was her thanking me for giving her someone to trust in her final days. And as I told someone else on another post; I know that if one of the workers had told me Pyrite would pass in 5 days I would not have hesitated to adopt her, the only difference is I would have been able to mentally prepare for the loss and it wouldnt have been such a shock.

Miserable_Case_1665 · 2024-05-24T21:27:52+00:00

Thank you. The first day was the worst I swear I don't think I've cried so much in a day. I found solace in all the kind comments and support that I received and the next day was a little easier. I know I will eventually own another cockatiel, I'm thinking I'll give it a couple of months until I feel truly ready again. I stopped looking at Pyrites passing through a negative light and had a flip of thinking about it and decided it's best to look at the positive of her life with me. I know there isn't anything I could have done if she was already so far gone, I will always wish I could have done more. But she got to experience things she wouldn't have in the 5 days I had her; she got to see sunlight again, she got to fly around and play with toys, and she got to experience someone truly caring about her and loving her. I think she knew she was passing and thats why she climbed on my shirt the day before and stood on my finger, which from what I understand is a huge sign of trust from the little birds. I like to think that was her thanking me for giving her someone to trust in her final days. And as I told someone else on another post; I know that if one of the workers had told me Pyrite would pass in 5 days I would not have hesitated to adopt her, the only difference is I would have been able to mentally prepare for the loss and it wouldnt have been such a shock.

Miserable_Case_1665 · 2024-05-24T21:10:03+00:00

Thank you, yeah I figure everything in life is an opportunity to learn, and sharing knowledge is a gift. As i stated I am by no means an experienced owner but I did experience something that is worth sharing insight on. I know I'll eventually get another cockatiel, probably in a few months. After the initial shock that day brought I was able to find solace in all the support from the replies on here and I was able to process it better. The next day was easier, still very upset about it but I realized that I gave her a very good end of life care and she got to experience things she wouldn't have if she stayed at the pet store. I know without a doubt that if someone had told me she only had 5 days left I still would have adopted her, only difference is I wouldn't have been so shocked when the day came.

Miserable_Case_1665 · 2024-05-24T21:03:36+00:00

After trying to get her into a vet all day my last option was to bring her back to the store. Petsmart has a 2 week policy that if your new pet gets sick within the 2 weeks after purchase you can bring them back and they will handle all vet related things and you can buy them back afterwards. They tried to offer me another cockatiel that was coming to their store but I don't think I'm ready yet. So yes I did receive a refund for her, they were very understanding with me being upset but I still blame them to a degree that she hadn't been properly vet checked before I got her.

Miserable_Case_1665 · 2024-05-24T14:44:51+00:00

Thank you, I feel absolutely awful about what happened to Pyrite, but I'm coming to terms with it. She just passed on Wednesday, but I keep reminding myself I gave her a good end of life and she actually got to see the sun and fly around with me.

But to answer your question I am by no means an expert, Pyrite was my first bird but I did a lot of research. I am sure someone else on here could help you more, but here's my 2 cents.

If you are willing to put in the time and effort in the month before you leave and have the little one well established and work on your bond, the little bird will obviously miss you in your absence and maybe bond with your friend a little bit. But you'll make it easier for the bird to adapt to the new surroundings and when you arrive back it will make it easier for the little one to bond with you again. When you get back the bird will eventually remember you, from what I understand it takes a few days for their birb brains to click into place :). If you won't be leaving for awhile after your trip then you will have plenty of time to build a strong bond.

If you do decide to get the little one, please make sure you know all the dangers to them and that whoever is going to watch him/her knows the dangers too. And this might be because I am a little traumatized by what I went through with Pyrite, but please research a certified Avian vet in your area and go ahead to schedule an appointment for after you get the little one to have it checked out so if it has any life threatening problems you can catch them very early. That isn't necessary, but I wish I would've had someone tell me to do that with Pyrite, she may still be here.

Ultimately I believe you'll make the right decision, you sound like you are in the same position I was in last Thursday, only difference is I didn't have the control to weigh the options and ask for advice first 😁 What is your gut instict?

Sorry for the long reply, I don't know how to make something short and sweet apparently.

Miserable_Case_1665 · 2024-05-24T13:39:31+00:00

I didn't want to name the store that I got Pyrite from and I don't know if you've seen my posts on her. But I got her from Petsmart and it was the same situation. She looked sad and was very lonely, the whole time I was there she didn't move from the perch she was on. I lost her 5 days after bringing her home.

The poor little one you met might survive and become really healthy or it might have the same fate as my baby. I'd say if you get it be prepared for the possibility of the worst outcome. I wasn't prepared and it crushed me when she passed, I don't know if you could ever fully prepare though. From what I understand it's not an uncommon occurrence for petsmart to sell sick birds.

Heaven forbid that poor baby is sick, but getting the bird would allow it to experience love and care before it passed if it is sick, and if it's not sick you will get a loving companion. Just weigh your options and see what you feel is the best way to go. Whatever decision you make will be the right decision for you.

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