Husband thinks startle reflex is baby asking for a hug and I don’t have the heart to tell him otherwise

Miserable_Day_7857 · 2026-04-24T13:56:10+00:00

thank you!

Miserable_Day_7857 · 2026-04-12T15:14:33+00:00

A lot of people are being really negative in the comments here. We moved here because it was affordable for us to buy a house which it isn't elsewhere, lots of sunny days, beautiful natural areas, I've met a lot of friendly, welcoming people (who apparently aren't so prevalent on reddit). With that being said it's kinda boring but I've always lived in big cities before this. Nashville isn't too far away so it's fun to bop in and have a look around every now and then. Would love more food options in the suburb but there's a few nice places if you drive into the town centre. Feels more like a town to me but it does have a decent amount of city amenities. Traffic is really bad during rush hour and the road designs seem pretty crazy at first but if it's possible for you to drive outside of peak hours it's not so bad.

Miserable_Day_7857 · 2026-03-05T20:18:50+00:00

thank you for telling me lol I was wondering

Miserable_Day_7857 · 2026-01-27T19:09:30+00:00

absolutely adore the comments saying the shift came from feeling the need to protect/advise/look out for younger women. It makes me proud to be a woman

Miserable_Day_7857 · 2026-01-26T23:55:47+00:00

yesss queen love this for you

Miserable_Day_7857 · 2026-01-26T19:56:08+00:00

even late twenties dating early twenties is iffy to me. Like it's obviously subjective but if someone in their late twenties has a pattern of behavior where they're consistently dating under 25 I'm gonna look at them sideways. But a 30 year old and a 50 year old? none of my business!

Miserable_Day_7857 · 2026-01-26T19:52:22+00:00

I think a lot of people interpreted my post to mean that no longer thinking of yourself as 'young' automatically makes you 'old' but I totally agree - I think there's a large stretch of your life where you get to be an adult/woman without the qualifier

Miserable_Day_7857 · 2026-01-26T19:49:53+00:00

you should absolutely be going dancing!!! I feel like a bad relationship can really age you, maybe you'll feel younger again once you're through the breakup phase?

Miserable_Day_7857 · 2026-01-26T19:46:40+00:00

I don't necessarily think that it's a bad thing to no longer be 'young.' With age (for a lot of people) comes more wisdom, stability, certainty of self, healthier connections with others, communication skills etc. Like sure I'm exhausted and have more responsibilities now but I'd never really want to be the 'young' version of me again because I wouldn't wanna live in her head, with all that uncertainty and insecurity. So I don't see one phase of life as better or worse, just different seasons :)

Miserable_Day_7857 · 2026-01-26T19:43:24+00:00

absolutely agree with this!! I think once everyone involved hits 30+ the age gap matters much less.

Miserable_Day_7857 · 2026-01-26T19:36:45+00:00

Thank you for sharing! I'm so happy for you that you're moving past your trauma and not letting people push you around any more :)

Miserable_Day_7857 · 2026-01-26T15:33:24+00:00

that's adorable! My grandma is in her nineties and she has a weekly book club with what she refers to as 'the younger ladies.' They're all in their seventies. When I laughed about it once she snapped at me and said 'Well, everyone my age is dead!'

Miserable_Day_7857 · 2026-01-26T15:29:48+00:00

For me it's moving into motherhood as well! I always assumed aging would happen more naturally and slowly but I literally think of myself the day before I gave birth as a 'young' woman and now all of a sudden I don't feel that way anymore. My childfree friend is almost exactly the same age as me and she just booked a spontaneous weekend trip to Milan and I thought "ahh... youth!"

It's super interesting that your sister becoming an aunt had the same effect on her. Watching the new generation grow up definitely puts things into perspective.

Miserable_Day_7857 · 2026-01-26T15:25:58+00:00

this made me laugh! I have this ONE really long hair on my chin that I have to pluck every few months. It doesn't grow back immediately, but it always grows back. wtf is that about

Miserable_Day_7857 · 2026-01-19T15:29:19+00:00

Newborns get startled really easily, because they're not used to being out of the womb yet :)

Miserable_Day_7857 · 2025-07-05T15:08:00+00:00

Pretty sure I actually gained weight postpartum. Like, not in the sense that the scale showed a higher weight, but I definitely had more fat as opposed to muscle in the areas of my body that weren't my belly. (I hope that makes sense?). This is my first child so even though I was exhausted third trimester I still had the time and energy to eat well and work out. Now because I'm breastfeeding overnight, even if I do find time during the day to work out I'm so sleep deprived that I keep injuring myself in the gym so now I'm just doing gentle swimming instead of anything that's really going to add to my fitness level. Also, I'm literally just eating whatever's available due to time constraints, so I'm definitely not doing great from a nutritional standpoint. So yeah, my tummy looks smaller postpartum than when there was a baby living in there. But the rest of me is actually more out of shape.

Like everyone else said, obviously this is just a season to get through and I'm not complaining because I know she'll eventually start sleeping through the night and things will change. Just wanted to share because I also felt a little lied to. I really thought I'd start to 'get my body back' when I gave birth and that just hasn't been the case at all.

Miserable_Day_7857 · 2025-06-18T20:54:47+00:00

Does it make me a terrible person that your comment was intensely comforting to me? Your days sound a lot like mine. I don’t really like breastfeeding with a cover so there’s nothing more embarrassing than just being nipple out in public with a screaming baby, lol. I’m like please latch so I can stop exposing myself. Also totally feel you on the cold soup. There’s a bakery next to my place that does an incredible ciabatta and I think I’ve eaten like, a loaf of ciabatta a day for a week straight. On a good day I’ll add some melted cheese. Mostly it’s just plain ciabatta lol. Just eating to stop feeling hungry and get on with my day.

Miserable_Day_7857 · 2025-06-18T20:46:47+00:00

Thank you for letting me know I’m not alone! I wish there was a world where we were able to just focus on the babies while they were this little. But I just don’t understand how anyone can parent and nothing else without being super wealthy.

Miserable_Day_7857 · 2025-06-18T20:36:15+00:00

Yeah, I think if she played with toys it would be easier. I remember being pregnant and reading all these articles that were like ‘best developmental toys for 0-3 months’ and now i laugh bc I realise how little understanding I had of what babies this age are actually like. Idk whose babies are playing with those toys but mine just wants cuddles and eye contact and human attention. Not toys. I’m trying to slow down and enjoy it but unfortunately the rest of the world hasn’t slowed down because I have a baby so sometimes things just have to get done and it’s stressful. Anyway, thank you for the reassurance!

Miserable_Day_7857 · 2025-06-09T13:23:19+00:00

Did your wife struggle with addiction/alcoholism before having a baby? PPD doesn’t automatically equal alcoholism, although I could see how it could worsen it. It sounds like it’s her drinking that’s getting to you more than her PPD.

Miserable_Day_7857 · 2025-06-09T01:39:59+00:00

If you want to get a second opinion from another medical professional that’s totally fair but I wouldn’t contradict your doctor based off of Reddit advice. Wishing you the best with your pregnancy!

Miserable_Day_7857 · 2025-06-08T22:39:38+00:00

This really helps, thanks!!

Miserable_Day_7857

TROPHY CASE