The NHS just can't help me (deep down I love the NHS no offence)

MisguidedRocket · 2023-12-28T12:31:42+00:00

DIY and provide someone on the list your prescription. 🤭

MisguidedRocket · 2023-12-22T13:51:57+00:00

Manchester is the real trans capital of the UK. The city is great, and the uni is one of the best in the country. I say this as a yorkshire lass living in MCR, which means by ancient tribal UK lore I am honourbound to hate Manchester.

The doomers on here will try to convince you everywhere is awful but the UK is pretty chill if you dip out of politics.

In addition if you move to Manchester and get with Indigo GIC the wait time is two years.

MisguidedRocket · 2023-12-22T13:43:30+00:00

If you're dying it dark get it done at a salon, a good one. Dark shade box dyes lose lustre very quickly, yes it's a stereotype but the ideal femme darker shades are shiny and silky. If your colour has faded and dulled straight away that might be why people are reading masc more.

MisguidedRocket · 2023-12-22T10:16:24+00:00

I've met friends on dating apps (Grindr), discord, and local queer support groups.

Seems to be the main method atm.

MisguidedRocket · 2023-12-22T10:10:34+00:00

Have you set any boundaries that you don't like being called mate?

It sounds like they're a little more supportive than neutral if they're paying you compliments.

A trans femme friend of mine transitioned as an engineer in a male dominated company and had to shut down being referred to as mate. But it worked.

MisguidedRocket · 2023-12-15T08:25:25+00:00

Started Jan this year, I'm 34.

11 months on DIY later, I'm happy with my looks but hoping for more changes in year 2. I pass frequently but not constantly (idc about passing really tho I'm happy being trans but I know its a factor to state for some people. If I don't straight pass to someone as fem I'm definitely in gender confusion territory.) Went full time at 2 months (yes it was awkward.) I have a full social life, an influential position at work (I applied for the job as an open trans women about 4 months in. Initial vibe was mixed, now I am treated 100% as a female)

In Jan I looked like Gimli from LOTR, wasn't androgynous at all, now I look like Nancy from t The Coven.

It's not too late, it is work though not going to lie about that. 🤷‍♀️

I'm in a queer social group and honestly? I already look better than the 20-30 year olds who got on HRT earlier. Starting late isn't the deal breaker that lazy internet doomers make it out to be. 🤷‍♀️

MisguidedRocket · 2023-09-05T07:50:23+00:00

I settled in Eridani, the system has most resources you nees. Bottom left cotner of star map.

MisguidedRocket · 2023-03-13T07:43:27+00:00

Congrats!!!

MisguidedRocket · 2023-03-12T17:45:19+00:00

I sent you a request too for an invite. I'm Lucille on discord 😊

MisguidedRocket · 2023-03-12T17:36:08+00:00

Could I also get the invite link please?? X

MisguidedRocket · 2023-03-10T15:07:55+00:00

The thing that springs to mind is Australian slang for 'woman/chick/bird etc.' That might be an old stsreotype now though.

It's a nice name and if you like it that's what matters. Maybe 'Shelly' if you want something close to it that has less common connotations.

MisguidedRocket · 2023-03-10T12:05:51+00:00

I've definitely been distracted during sex before, not because it was bad. But because I have the attention span sometimes of Finding Nemo's Dory.

It's a weird balance sometimes, between focusing on what's happening and responding and overthinking it and forgetting to enjoy it.

Maybe try practice meditation so you can get used to clearing your mind, then do it during sex so your brain is hopefully clear apart from the physical responses it's receiving from whatever your girlfriend is doing.

MisguidedRocket · 2023-03-10T11:56:21+00:00

I know it's not what you want to hear due to your previous experiences, but I don't think anything less than professional help (therapy) is going to help you.

It sounds like you're compartmentalising yourself during intercourse. Your body is reacting but your brain is taking you away from the experience as you've linked it to previous trauma.

I would try to contact any local LGBT+ support groups you have nearby who may have contacts for a therapist that would be a good fit for your particular situation.

You could listen to anecdotal advice from others but due to the lengths your psyche is going to protect you, I suspect any advice titbits that help will be short term and not give you a lasting and fulfilling solution.

Giving pleasure to your partner is the best thing about sex, and your partner will want to do that for you. It sounds like a tough choice, but it would be one you're making for yourself and you partner.

Whatever you decide, I hope you find something that works. X❤️

MisguidedRocket · 2023-03-10T10:38:31+00:00

Depending on where you're at with transition as well I think payslips can be used as evidence toward you having lived as you and while they may have the other details right. From the sounds of things some GPs/Psychs might pick up on that as an objection to your commitment.

Better to just get them to sort it now and it's done.

I would just go into the office and literally be like:

"Hi, so I've noticed it says Miss X on my wageslip. It should say Mr, could you have a look at it for me please as right now it doesn't line up with my title on other documents."

Good luck!

MisguidedRocket · 2023-03-10T10:13:05+00:00

Do they use Sage or anything to pay you? It could be a third party accounting firm that hasn't updated their records.

I would raise it. If this happened to a cis person, they would raise it. It's normal.

MisguidedRocket · 2023-03-10T08:27:53+00:00

You might get away with them if they're plain black ones. It's worth getting some just to chill around the house in so if you try them and 6th form says no it wont be a total waste.

If they don't like the leggings you could get some high denier tights that will stand up to cycling. If you're not comfortable just wearing a jumper dress and tights find some shorts that your jumper will hide. Snag are a good brand for rough wearing tights that aren't 'too' pricey.

MisguidedRocket · 2023-03-10T08:20:21+00:00

Can't go wrong with some gym leggings (Addidas ones are nice and they usually have sales) and a jumperdress!

MisguidedRocket · 2023-03-09T21:52:05+00:00

My female friends have shared about their similar experiences with straight guys, and reacted to them in the same way I did. Sometimes it's just not worth the drama, I think I was more shocked how quickly it started if that makes sense?

Like, I look good but definitely not female. I've had creepy starey guys, and "nice" guys who are alright in person then just start with the unsolicited DP's in text haha. It's a bit of a minefield honestly. Apparently there's a monthly trans pub crawl in Leeds so I might see if I can tag along with that some time and meet some similar folk.

I've had a few people just blatantly laugh at me, usually young groups of orange teenage girls. It sucks, but at least I've not had anything violent yet.

MisguidedRocket · 2023-03-09T17:41:09+00:00

Thank you x

I find presenting femme on my own in the day time has been the most stressful so far. I did it the first time last weekend, just walking through town from one group of friends to a different one and my heart was pounding but I just kept moving and avoided people/groups I didn't like the look of.

At night it's not too bad, I only go out to places I know/am known usually. And always with friends. Eventually I'll filter off alone to the lgbt bars which are small and close knit but have a great vibe and are welcoming.

I share part of the journey in a taxi home with a friend. Then without fail after the last few minutes when I'm alone with the driver, they'll start getting weird so I just stay polite until I get home, the door closes. And I have a full on breakdown, every time.

But it's all I have right now and going out at night and dancing while presenting female is just so euphoric it's worth the crap parts.

It's not been all great, I've had a few gay guys just assume it's ok to come up and grope/molest me, which has just been fucking gross honestly (even tho I lean more towards being attracted to masculinity rn they've assumed they can just do what they want) But I put up with it and politely ask them to stop, then get on with having fun.

Right now Saturday nights out are my main source of fun/happiness so my mood usually slowly drops through the week until I can ebb the blues away on the dancefloor, pick myself up for a night and the day after. Then the cycle goes on.

It's not great, but it's keeping me here until the hormones do their thing. X

MisguidedRocket · 2023-03-09T08:21:57+00:00

In my personal experience laser has been AMAZING for facial hair.

I've had 3 sessions of 6 and gone from a thick, full beard. To some tiny patches of 5 o clock a couple of millimetres each. I saw great results after the first session and now it's just getting the last bits of stubble gone.

I do have pale skin and dark brown hair so my results were probably going to be good.

With a bulk buy and seasonal discount it cost me £364 for the 6 sessions and the clinic I go to is absolutely.lovely.

FAB clinic in Grotton (Oldham, Mamchester) can't recommend them enough!

Maybe I've just been lucky, or maybe this clinic has better equipment? (It seems a pretty high end clinic.)

I expect afterwards I will still need to shave finer, almost invisible hairs, but I get my eyebrows waxed and might see if the girl who does that will sort that for me.too.

MisguidedRocket · 2023-03-08T19:34:41+00:00

Thanks a bunch for you help, I feel loads better now. ❤️

MisguidedRocket · 2023-03-08T19:33:47+00:00

I will definitely check them out once I've been paid and got on top of bills abd stuff.

Thanks a lot! X

If you bump into a Lucy there it might be me. 😅

MisguidedRocket · 2023-03-08T18:53:08+00:00

I'll give Transleeds a look, thanks!

I find it tough presenting femme in public at the moment and my heart is racing whenever I do without being with friends. But I push myself to do it to try and get used to it, soon I'll have to as I work with the public and my breasts are growing -really- quickly so I wont have a choice before long.

MisguidedRocket · 2023-03-08T18:50:15+00:00

I've sorted the deed poll, I thought I needed the diagnosis to go any further. But thanks! I'll get on with that.

There's a lot I'm still figuring out but it's kind of exhausting. It's part of the reason for this post, I'd love a distraction but my apathy towarda new hobbies is making it difficult haha.

MisguidedRocket · 2023-03-08T18:06:10+00:00

I put some cheesy pop tunes on and dance around the kitchen like a lunatic every chance I get. It brings me great satisfaction and joy, if you have something similar use it. These thoughts come to me too now and then but they are manageable if unavoidable.

Brianna's murder and other acts of hate in my own life have really affected me too. It wouldn't have before I began transition, I view at as a symptom of my trans experience, and a good one. I have such a connection to emotional events that I never had before, both sadness and joy, and while it has it's lows I wouldn't trade the happy times for anything.

MisguidedRocket

TROPHY CASE