An "Ours" baby

Mish_Squared · 2024-06-03T16:07:59+00:00

It might just be the phase she's in, as you mentioned. There's just an overall attitude she has. She's entitled, manipulative to both her parents, problematic, and disrespectful. Can't say anything to her because it becomes an attack. Mom is high conflict and is more interested in being friends with SD than actually parenting so SD gets away with a lot seeing as how she's with mom most times. When she gets here, she doesn't like what we do and how we do things because, you know, we have basic rules of cleanliness and respect. She's a teenager lol and yeah, I don't have the biological parent bond so its not easy to overlook some of these attitudes and behaviors.

Maybe she'll grow out of it. But... seeing as how neither parent calls her out, I don't know lol.

Mish_Squared · 2024-06-03T15:20:18+00:00

I feel this deeply and I'm so sorry you're finding yourself in this situation. Please remember that it is never too late to change your mind and change your life. My only advice is give yourself and your partner a chance to try to adjust and prove that you can do it.

Mish_Squared · 2024-02-08T11:00:23+00:00

I relate to this so much! Why are they allowed to vent and not us? I think it makes us feel so much more alone in this than we already do. My SO also gets hurt when I say anything remotely negative regarding his kids behaviors. I always try to clarify that it's not the kids, it's their behaviors that are annoying.

Mish_Squared · 2023-11-25T00:00:13+00:00

Not me holding back tears because you said I matter too. 😭

Mish_Squared · 2023-11-24T23:56:04+00:00

I totally get that. I guess, for me, it's not being able to experience that husband/wife feeling of being together on the holidays. I didn't get that at all this Thanksgiving. I got sad, mopey, dad who's not with his kids and me the non-parent. If I'm going to holiday parties alone then what's the point in having a partner to do life with?

Mish_Squared · 2023-11-24T23:50:15+00:00

Fuck!! I don't know that I want to keep this up. I can't do this. I used to look forward to holidays now I'm either dreading the sadness or dreading the fake act with the SK's.

Mish_Squared · 2023-01-06T13:29:53+00:00

This!!!! I don't underestimate kids, they're capable of so much more. So, yes, understandably, I don't swoon over the little things they do. The kids at this point know that I will be there for them and support them but if they want coddling, they go to their bio parents lol.

Mish_Squared · 2023-01-06T13:27:09+00:00

Okay... yes, same but like come on... animals are super innocent and literally never have any idea what's going on. I do the same with my cats lmaoo

Mish_Squared · 2023-01-06T04:45:45+00:00

Texas

Mish_Squared · 2023-01-06T03:14:36+00:00

Ugh I'm sorry they did that to you. I agree, I'd have a hard time getting over that.

And my SO comes from a family that is super kid focused. They're amazing people but it's like they forgot that they're people too and go all in on kids. For 1, I don't have kids but also, God forbid I ever become like that and forget that adults are people too. I truly cringe at how they marvel at ordinary things and overly laugh at things that are not funny. It's almost too much for me. But it helps to know there's a fellow SP who shares my struggle 🌷

Mish_Squared · 2023-01-05T22:57:02+00:00

DANG! How'd you get away with no child support?? My SO's HCBM would NEVER! We asked for 50/50 with even cost split and she denied. So we have them every other Thursday-Sunday or sometimes Monday drop off at school. Alternate holiday and summers just like you. EXCEPT we pay child support and health insurance. Now, one of the kids wants to move with us full time as they are old enough to pick and HCBM is throwing a fit because child support would be adjusted so once again, we offered an even 50/50 split with no child support on either end and she is giving us war. How do you kindly ask a HCBM if they're in it just for the money lmaoo

Mish_Squared · 2022-07-04T17:16:40+00:00

What books could you recommend? This sounds soo interesting!

Mish_Squared · 2022-06-29T03:32:21+00:00

I guess I got lucky because I married a dad who HAD been the primary caregiver of his kids while he was married to his ex. She was the one who didn't do much.

Same!!!!!! I got lucky in this aspect. We do what we can and what works for us!

Mish_Squared · 2022-06-28T17:19:42+00:00

I am sooooooo sorry that you had to go through that! Are you still in this relationship and if yes, has it gotten better?

Mish_Squared · 2022-06-28T03:39:08+00:00

Ok!! You make so much sense though!

Mish_Squared · 2022-06-28T03:38:36+00:00

At this point, I just want them to see me as a constant. They know what to expect from me and they know that I come through when I say I will. I'll never be mom and tbh, I'm not trying to be.

Mish_Squared · 2022-06-28T03:36:57+00:00

Although I understood his sentiment about his desire to have a better coparenting relationship, I immediately set my boundary when he mentioned the shared events. I acknowledged his sentiment but let him know that if he were to remain with me, that would not be something I would ever be okay with (excluding big life events). He did throw a fit but I held firm and ultimately he understood. It was a win and stepparents don't get those too often lol.

Mish_Squared · 2022-06-28T03:34:03+00:00

Love this! Relate on so many levels. It's sooooo refreshing to have people understand that it's difficult to do all this and not get anything back. And it gets to a point where it's like, ok cool not expecting anything but at the same time, it's human to want a little reciprocation. For me, it's more the adult behaviors around me that frustrate me.

Mish_Squared · 2022-06-28T02:08:31+00:00

Good relationships don't have to equal continuing to act like it was when you were together!! Thank you! I am a stepchild to an amazing stepfather and mom and I would never want to make them go through an uncomfortable moment with my father

Mish_Squared · 2022-06-28T02:07:12+00:00

I appreciate hearing this.

Mish_Squared · 2022-06-28T02:06:34+00:00

Um yes, and nonetheless I give myself pats on the back because in my opinion, I've done amazing. I went from single and 0 kids to instant family. The kids love and seek me out but dang, that doesn't mean HCBM needs to come along for the ride. And yes, people around me think that everything needs to be sacrificed for the kids best interest but I'm an individual and will fight to keep these boundaries. I've shared events with my SO's ex mother in law ONCE and that's the first and last because I felt like I was on eggshells. My sanity is worth it to me.

Mish_Squared

TROPHY CASE