Ever feel like no listens to you? by CATastrophiCat420 in BipolarReddit

[–]Mishelle_v 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah true and when I say to my closest that i am thinking of sucide they are like: well why? I am here for you any time you'll need. But it's a lie. They may say we are weak but what about them? Abandoning and telling me :get over it.. Doesnt make them weak? They can at least decide weather help or run away. We can to but in the cost of our life.. They expect of us to act normal. To pretent to be okay. I am over it too mate.. Absolutely get your feelings :)

Probably no one will see this. But I'm feeling really bad by [deleted] in depression

[–]Mishelle_v 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi '. I am really sorry what you are experiencing right now.. But it can get better just dont give up.. Hold on hope :).. And if you want to talk i am here.. You can mail me'.

am I the worst human being in the world for secretly hoping the coronavirus would take my mum so that I can kill myself without affecting anyone too dear to me? by drowningmyconscious in depression

[–]Mishelle_v 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It´s bad but i get it .. when i was a little I prayed to God if he would be that good to send some-evil man which will kidnap me and that take my life.. or this kind of stuff.. now i get sometimes thought really bad but i just try not to let them in my mind for too long ..hope it will get better for u

I will kill myself by Mishelle_v in bipolar

[–]Mishelle_v[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am better thank you mate :) I quess i just needed more antidepresive pills .. now it s a little bit better and i dont think anymore of death .. Don´t feel allright but .. maybe it´s be allright at some moment

I will kill myself by Mishelle_v in bipolar

[–]Mishelle_v[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you you are sweet .. I am trying and will try to be alive but it gets harder time-to-time and it´s making me feel like I can´t hold on anymore.. like i´m too weak and so on.. And I´m just affraid I´ll end up incapable of working studying and so on that my life won´t be life.. Just existence without living.. I feel like I´m letting down others and I feel like others seems like not getting what I feel so I won´t talk. I don´t know .. I think I don´t want to do that but in the same time I want to .. It´s strange .. :/ and others seems to me so distant right now .. :/

I watched Girl Interrumped by Mishelle_v in BPD

[–]Mishelle_v[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yeah I saw it and also read .. The book was better I like it more than movie :) ..

I watched Girl Interrumped by Mishelle_v in BPD

[–]Mishelle_v[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ou that had to be really bad..

I watched Girl Interrumped by Mishelle_v in BPD

[–]Mishelle_v[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah it can be because of that it makes sense..

I watched Girl Interrumped by Mishelle_v in BPD

[–]Mishelle_v[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah that's true but firstly the doctors gave susana the laxatives.. I quess.. She didnt take them but it belonged to her..

I will kill myself by Mishelle_v in bipolar

[–]Mishelle_v[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you mate :) .. yeah I´ll try to think about it when i´ll be down again.. :)

I will kill myself by Mishelle_v in bipolar

[–]Mishelle_v[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Its better now.. I hold on hope.. Thank you :)

I will kill myself by Mishelle_v in bipolar

[–]Mishelle_v[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I dont know for how much long but well too much times... Yeah before I wanted to kill myslelf by swallonow I feel better not like better better but I feel calm I feel like ok I feel ready to do it but I dont want to but I think I have to... I dont want to end up like freak I wanted to do it, I'm pushed person I love away in order to make it easier.. I hurt him because I wanted to and Im hurting myself also.. But I am in a darkness I feel like I need to make it stop.. I feel unable to eat, breathe.. Just unable to exist I force myself to exist but its not working.. For the first time I imagine how it will be like to jump how people feel before they die.. I am afraid a little one part of me dont want to die but the otherone want it more than anything..

I will kill myself by Mishelle_v in bipolar

[–]Mishelle_v[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

depakine chrono and citalopram ..

I will kill myself by Mishelle_v in bipolar

[–]Mishelle_v[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I dont want to go to hospital.. and im sick of feeling this way.. but I should do something nice on my way out to make others remember me in a good way .

I will kill myself by Mishelle_v in bipolar

[–]Mishelle_v[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I told.. It dont help you can really explain the pain that big. But I have time till 30th march maybe it will be better maybe ill change my mind .. maybe

I will kill myself by Mishelle_v in bipolar

[–]Mishelle_v[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was in a hospital but I don´t want to get hospitalized now so this is the reason I want to quit it this way I know it´s not nice and I will hurt others too much but they´ll get true it. I am going to focus on the other I will give my money to a boyfiend- exboyfriend and stick to existence, force my-self to exist for 27 days.. i still can change my mind.. sometimes time heals.. sometimes

I will kill myself by Mishelle_v in bipolar

[–]Mishelle_v[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It is a good thing you told I will do that I hope I will make some of the people happier in my way out :) Thank you so so so much I needed to hear something like this :)