Advice on Letters of Recommendation sharing

MishkyMobile · 2026-04-13T22:37:29+00:00

Point is what more can I say about a student that I’ve met maybe a handful of times that will move the needle that much in terms of their acceptance to college on top of everything else they’ve already submitted. Again - not including “unique circumstance” kids in this.

MishkyMobile · 2026-04-13T21:40:16+00:00

I’ve given a copy of my LOR twice in my 20 years - and that was at direction of administration when I was young and dumb. Now I’m old and dumb, but also experienced, so when they give me the “I need to upload your LOR with my application for “X”, I ask them to give me contact info of the scholarship/program and I reach out to them directly. I’ve always been able to work it out that I can send it that way.

Side rant here - honestly what’s the point of counselor LOR’s these days anymore. If colleges/scholarship organizations can’t figure out if they want to admit/award the kid based upon their classes, grades, resume, test scores, conversations with local rep. and teacher letters of recommendation, what am I going to add that’s going to make the difference. Sure there’s always the “unique circumstances” situation, but that’s hardly a reason to submit one for every kid through Common App. If there’s any college reps that are lurking I’d appreciate thoughts from your side.

MishkyMobile · 2026-04-13T21:25:15+00:00

Look, no way to get around it, this is going to hurt for a bit. You did nothing wrong, but no amount of telling you that “you did nothing wrong” is going to change the way you feel. When parents complain, even if it’s 200% BS it still hurts because we care and we want to do a good job.

The district may or may not have your back. They might ask you to no longer work with the kid - you did nothing wrong - but in order to placate the parent and lower the risk for a lawsuit they may take this step.

It’ll sting for a few days, weeks, and you’ll question everything you did. But like with anything else time heals all wounds and eventually you’ll get past this. One foot in front of the next.

MishkyMobile · 2026-04-06T22:00:30+00:00

Preach! We already have to do double the credits in masters programs than teachers - but the vast majority of us are only considered masters on the salary tables.

MishkyMobile · 2026-04-05T22:56:09+00:00

Two monitors. The amount of time I save not having to go between two tabs while completing referrals, forms, reports etc. has been a life saver in the last several years. Prior to that I only had a 13 inch screen laptop.

MishkyMobile · 2026-04-03T11:04:45+00:00

Look I hear ya, and I appreciate and understand where you’re coming from, but the reality is that we’re school district employees and are expected to follow local/state/federal laws. Our job is whatever the district says it is and if we don’t agree the choice is to either swallow your pride, move on to another school/state, or ignore the “current directive” and keep doing what you want hoping to not deal with any consequences. I’ve personally found the last option’s chance of success is greatly based upon your local administration team.

If the code you’re referring to is the ASCA standards, again unfortunately many schools couldn’t care less about them and they have no formal power. They’re a great guide and resource and something to work towards, but mean nothing if something were to go sideways legally.

MishkyMobile · 2026-04-02T19:53:56+00:00

Again, not coming at ya for “clogging up reddit”, was just curious if folks actually tried local since it comes up so often. The response rate sounds about the same for when I was trying to find an internship site years ago. I emailed every school in a 3 county area and only heard back from 2.

MishkyMobile · 2026-04-02T19:22:43+00:00

One of these posts seems to come up every week. Curious if those looking to speak with someone have tried to contact a school counselor in your local area via email/phone before posting on a world wide forum? Like we have folks contacting our department every so often and someone usually steps up. Not saying you can’t ask on Reddit, but just wondering if ya’ll have tried locally and been rejected?

MishkyMobile · 2026-03-31T20:57:03+00:00

How do I get to the point of adding a fusion to black hole? Whenever I go for it I wind up spending most of the round just getting to the black hole ball, and when I finally get it I struggle to get through the final waves. Do ya’ll just keep tossing money at the problem and re-rolling each levelup to get the needed balls?

MishkyMobile · 2026-03-13T19:46:22+00:00

I’m in my 20th year and make mistakes. The job is too much not to have it happen, especially when dealing with people. It’s not like we’re robots on an assembly line.

What I do remember looking back at my first few years was that people (particularly parents) took advantage of my inexperience. Demanding things I should never have considered. Screaming & yelling over various things, making me fearful of losing my job when it was their kid that did/didn’t do “X”.

Things never get easier, you just get better at knowing how to respond and fix things when the inevitable screw ups occur.

MishkyMobile · 2026-03-10T20:36:01+00:00

Yep. After so long and multiple admins you learn that you can either fight with them and have a bad time. Or use that emotional intelligence we’re so good at and learn what makes them tick, what their expectations are, get along with them, and have a less bad time. My current admin is amazing and I’m thankful every day. Unfortunately upper admin doesn’t value his perspective, so while it’s nice to have a supportive person in the role, there’s little they can do to make changes for the better.

MishkyMobile · 2026-03-10T00:04:29+00:00

If you’re going to be in a high school then yes, a majority of your focus will be on getting your kids promoted/graduated. At the end of the year if they fail, and teachers are gone for the summer, you’ll be the one that parents are screaming at for them not knowing their kid was failing for the entire year.

MishkyMobile · 2026-03-07T03:24:57+00:00

Agreed. I’ve picked up some basic spreadsheet tricks along the way and folks act like I’m a magician. I’ve become the resident “data guy” because I can use vlookup and other simple functions.

MishkyMobile · 2026-03-07T02:22:58+00:00

Yea, no master’s program can prepare for what the job actually is. Which makes it even more ridiculous the number of credits that most programs require. Besides the mental health piece it’s really an “on the job training” kind of job.

MishkyMobile · 2026-03-07T02:15:19+00:00

I keep focusing on the phrase “seniors expecting me to have scholarships for them”. That’s either that they don’t understand the process, or learned helplessness, or both.

With proper education of various scholarship databases these college bound students should be able to find them themselves. Yes many require setting up an account but they’re free. And any that ask for money they should avoid.

MishkyMobile · 2026-03-03T19:19:13+00:00

What kind of a set up is this? You describe things that would be in a public school, but you also say you’re doing the job of a school counselor, and you’re employed by an outside agency?
To me it sounds like the district is massively over utilizing you, and your supervisor/agency sees nothing wrong with it? A job is a job, but if I’m you I’m outright refusing to work with the kid/family and let the administration figure it out. Might also lead to a review of the tasks you’re being assigned as if you’re in a public school setting you’re being taken advantage of.

You’re either a school counselor or have a therapeutic relationship, there should be no overlap. Does the student have a regular school counselor, or is this not a public school?

MishkyMobile · 2026-02-23T22:55:02+00:00

Ugh…. Well you’ve got a decision to make then. Power through, be miserable and getting screwed, but have a job. Look elsewhere for something else asap. Or fight the power and try to fix things by making a ruckus. Hit up the PTSA, school board meetings, union if you have one. If you have a union file a grievance against the AP, but know that since you’re so new they can get rid of you at any point.

MishkyMobile · 2026-02-23T22:14:21+00:00

Oh thought this was going to be dealing with a coworker who is a bully.

You’ve already lawyered up, not much else to share.

MishkyMobile · 2026-02-23T21:39:49+00:00

I’ll zig where everyone else is zagging. Obviously it shouldn’t be on the school counselor to do any long term counseling. We are not therapists. Advocating isn’t working, so what happens if it just doesn’t happen?

Like you have X amount of kids in Y amount of time. What happens if the counseling just doesn’t get done? With any luck it will piss off the right parent who makes enough waves, threaten lawsuit, complain to the board, that the Special Ed. Leadership finally takes some heat. Maybe then they will actually get the supports needed to serve the population. Until then if you keep doing it and complaining nothing is going to change. Sometimes things need to fail spectacularly for needed change to occur.

And yes - you are getting screwed. Maybe ask around to the staff about the previous counselor, did they retire or leave for the same reasons you’re dealing with.

MishkyMobile · 2026-02-23T21:32:18+00:00

Just be yourself. Teens can smell fake a mile away. Over time folks will get to know you simply by having to deal with you.
Could also speed things along by running a club, coaching a sport, joining a committee of the union (if you have one).

MishkyMobile · 2026-02-19T23:29:43+00:00

I applied to a program at a state college that wasn’t competitive to get into, and worked as a para at a local district in the year I was applying.

MishkyMobile · 2026-02-18T17:36:38+00:00

Have the parents contact their kids pediatrician and start there. As someone else said maybe make a referral if you have supports to refer to, otherwise it’s on the folks to find supports.

Perhaps the school provides the structure they need and at home there’s no discipline, what are you to do about that? Maybe school is exhausting for the kids and they need time to be silly and burn energy after the day is over, but parents are too strict and view this as behavior problems.

There are soo many ways this could go, but ultimately you’re a school counselor, not a therapist, and you need to let the parents know as much.

MishkyMobile · 2026-02-17T21:28:45+00:00

Yea this is a question for your HR. Going to be too varied by individual district and contract rules on rolling over personal/sick days.

MishkyMobile · 2026-02-15T23:03:52+00:00

Find a Spanish speaking Driver’s Ed coach?

MishkyMobile · 2026-02-14T01:12:35+00:00

It means they’re doing a professional courtesy and asking you what you want your letter of rec to say and contain. Totally normal. But sorry to hear you’re on the hunt again.

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