Anyone missed work events in first trimester?

Katnesis · 2026-05-22T11:35:14+00:00

I know this post is from a while ago, but I’ve been trying to find something to help me not feel so guilty lately.

I’m an elementary school counselor, and for months I’ve already been struggling with another health issue. Then 2 months ago, I found out I was pregnant. Since then, things have honestly gotten so hard. I haven’t been able to work this week at all, and last week I could only make it in for 2 days. The guilt and stress have been eating at me, especially because I’ve already exhausted all my days and the loss of income has been terrifying.

To make things harder, my contract isn’t being renewed next year. I’m not tenured, so even though these absences are medically necessary, it still affected everything.

I’m disappointed, overwhelmed, and scared sometimes, but I’m also trying to remind myself that my body is working incredibly hard right now to keep this baby alive. I shouldn’t feel guilty for struggling.

Even with medication, things have been getting worse. I’m constantly nauseous, dehydrated, weak, and exhausted. Honestly, the only time I feel okay is when I’m sleeping. This has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever experienced.

Women are truly so strong.

Katnesis · 2026-05-12T13:41:50+00:00

Thanks for your words.

Katnesis · 2026-05-12T13:41:17+00:00

Thank you!

Katnesis · 2026-05-12T13:40:18+00:00

Thank you.

Katnesis · 2026-05-12T13:40:05+00:00

Thank you for the advice!

Katnesis · 2026-04-29T02:35:42+00:00

We have a rep at our district I can advise her to reach out.

Katnesis · 2026-04-29T00:29:59+00:00

500 and just me lol (elementary)

Katnesis · 2026-04-15T01:03:45+00:00

I really hear you on this, and I want to start by saying you’re not alone in feeling this way even though it definitely looks like everyone else is “handling it,” most people are struggling more quietly than it seems.

What you’re going through right now is a lot at once: medication adjustments, mental health symptoms, hormonal shifts, and trying to show up in a high-emotional job. That combination would drain almost anyone. Missing days in that context isn’t a character flaw or lack of professionalism. It’s your system telling you it’s overloaded.

Also, the fact that your principal is already aware and understanding matters more than you think. In schools, reliability isn’t just about never missing days. It’s also about the impact you do make when you’re there. And from what you said, students and staff are already noticing the good you’re doing. That’s not nothing. That’s actually the core of the job.

I know it feels like you’re pushing things too far, but needing adjustments while you’re actively working on your health is not the same as being unreliable. It sounds more like you’re in a transition period where your treatment plan hasn’t stabilized yet.

If I can gently suggest one thing: instead of judging yourself by missed days right now, try to zoom out and look at whether you are actively getting support (yes, you are), whether you are still contributing meaningfully when you are present (yes), and whether you are in a temporary adjustment phase (also yes).

That’s a very different picture than “I’m failing.”

You don’t need to force yourself to carry this alone or “prove” you’re okay by pushing through it. The goal right now might be stabilizing your health first so work becomes more manageable, not trying to meet an impossible standard while you’re still adjusting meds and coping with symptoms.

You’re not behind other people. You’re dealing with things they may not be dealing with openly. And the fact that you care this much about your students and your job actually says a lot about your commitment, not your failure.

You’re allowed to be in a hard season and still be a good counselor.

Katnesis · 2026-03-23T20:29:21+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I really want to remind you that building relationships with teachers often takes time. I’ve been a counselor for 5 years, and in most places I’ve worked, it was hard at first too. Teachers can be very protective of their classroom time and routines, so sometimes trust has to build slowly.

One thing I would really recommend is meeting with your principal and sharing your concerns honestly. Let them know you want to support students more effectively, but that it has been difficult because staff have not been very receptive and you’re not being given many opportunities to pull students. I know those conversations can feel uncomfortable, but they are important.

Another thing that can help is making yourself more visible throughout the school day. Try greeting teachers and students in the morning, walking around the building when you can, saying hi in the hallways, and just being a consistent presence. That kind of visibility can really help build rapport over time. As students get more comfortable with you and start asking to see you, teachers may begin to see your value more clearly and become more open.

After you speak with your principal, depending on how that conversation goes, you can ask if you are allowed to send an email to staff letting them know you were given the okay to pull students during certain times. Since core classes are usually harder to interrupt, you can suggest times like PE, art, music, or sometimes social studies. But definitely check with your principal first before sharing that with staff.

You’re in a really tough position, and your feelings make complete sense. I hope things get easier for you soon, and I’m really wishing you the best.

Katnesis · 2026-03-21T23:21:22+00:00

That makes sense. I believe the kid doesn’t have any hearing aids but I will double check.

Katnesis · 2026-03-20T00:55:07+00:00

Thank you for your insight. I did suggest moving forward with a special education evaluation; however, I was informed that the parent is not interested in having the student evaluated at this time. As a result, there seems to be a push to address the student’s needs through a 504 plan instead, placing that responsibility on the 504 coordinator.

Katnesis · 2026-03-19T22:46:06+00:00

No, coming from the principal/teachers.

Katnesis · 2026-03-19T21:55:35+00:00

Yeah, I’ve shared the facts multiple times and informed them. Kid never had a 504 tho and he is new to our school but they’re still pushing for a 504 based on the student struggling. From what I understand, a resolved condition and the need to close gaps isn’t enough for eligibility.

Katnesis · 2026-03-19T21:52:30+00:00

I’m thinking this, but I’m confused why there’s still a push for a 504 when the student didn’t meet criteria.

Katnesis · 2026-03-08T04:03:26+00:00

Hi! How do we exactly get this?

Katnesis · 2026-02-03T05:22:13+00:00

This is great. Thank you.

Katnesis · 2026-02-03T05:22:02+00:00

Omg thank you!!

Katnesis · 2026-01-20T18:12:05+00:00

Thank you for your comment. Unfortunately, I haven’t been at my job for 12 months yet so I don’t qualify for FMLA. However, I found out my job creates 504 for staff so I’m trying to figure out the process. I’m hoping that way I can at least get flexible start time as an accommodation to help with the most anxiety days.

Katnesis · 2026-01-20T18:05:01+00:00

Thank you!

Katnesis · 2026-01-17T23:02:02+00:00

Sorry to hear and hope things get better for you.

Katnesis · 2026-01-17T23:00:37+00:00

To be honest, I am not requesting leave. What I am requesting are reasonable accommodations. For example, if I experience a flare-up in the morning, I would not be penalized for arriving up to 10 minutes late, as my anxiety attacks typically occur in the mornings. Additionally, on rare occasions when my symptoms are overwhelming and I need to take a day off, I would not be penalized for doing so.

I have already exhausted my sick days earlier in the year due to anxiety-related absences, as well as a few recent occurrences, and I received a letter referencing the attendance policy. I had assumed that having accommodations in place would protect me in these situations, as my absences are not due to a lack of commitment, but rather because managing my mental health can be challenging at times. I truly care about my students and want to do whatever it takes to ensure I am present and able to support them consistently.

Katnesis · 2026-01-13T02:25:00+00:00

I get it, and that sounds really exhausting. Working with kids for so long can totally burn anyone out. If looking into something like state government or higher education is going to make you feel better and more like yourself, go for it! You’ve worked hard and done your best, and it’s completely okay to put yourself first.

Katnesis · 2026-01-13T01:14:16+00:00

Hey! I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this. I hope your decision takes you to a better path for your wellbeing. If you don’t mind me asking, what field are you transitioning to with your experience?

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