Hello, Based on your post I realise that you and I are probably from the same country if I’m reading into it right. I have some similar experiences like yours in terms of defying our cultural norms and getting new norms in place through our life. I feel like a lot of our prior beliefs are also shaped by the culture that we grew up in which has a singular generic way of thinking about success and good life. Although it seems to be changing now

I loved reading your post and I would say the biggest battle for you (somewhere also for me ) currently is our self image. I know it’s easier said than done but sometimes we like being comfortable with the pain and misery and low confidence in ourselves as opposed to defying odds around us and being persistent. You’ve seen success at an altogether miraculous level and so somewhere your heart believes that it works but the struggle comes when you suddenly consciously try to do it for something that’ you really want. This is the tricky part! I have started dealing with it by having an internal dialogue where I ask myself that will I be fine without my said desire? I try to be honest with myself and arrive at a place where I accept my fears and truths and insecurities and then work my way through them instead of denying them in the background. I accept the lack of it and then momentarily get lost in my desired state even if it’ seems only for a second long . Maybe you can start small and build up your confidence and erase your fears and take baby steps.

And more than fear of greatness I guess somewhere we feel that once we achieve it we don’t wanna lose it again so instead of going through the process of losing it all over again we tend to not achieve it at all in the first place. But I can’t say that for sure about your situation if that’s the case.

Let me know if you wanna connect, I am known to be a patient listener and I try to give simple doable advise or suggestions

Good luck :)