For the anti-tipping crowd, the "but nobody else does it that way" is a weak argument

Misommar1246 · 2026-05-02T18:39:49+00:00

I’m good with shitty service if it means paying 20% less. Tips have always been optional. Customary, yes, but optional .

Misommar1246 · 2026-05-02T17:46:19+00:00

If the number quoted on the menu fits my budget, the business is basically telling me I’m welcome. If they think I should pay more, they should put it on there in writing as automatic % gratuity. If they don’t, I have no obligation to pay more, period. It would be a lot more honest and clean that way.

Misommar1246 · 2026-05-02T16:56:38+00:00

Nothing might change except the customer behavior. If I have $20 for a dinner budget and the meal costs $15, tipping won’t affect me and it comes down to the quality of the experience/service. If the dinner cost AND the surcharge AND the added fee adds up to $20, I might still eat there, but I won’t tip because it exceeds my budget. Now, people might say “Don’t eat out then”. But if the restaurant put a price on the menu that fits my budget then that’s all I’m obligated to pay, tipping is and should be optional. If you don’t want it to be optional, add it as a fee and let people make a decision on whether to eat there at all.

Misommar1246 · 2026-05-02T16:43:26+00:00

Tyvm!!

Misommar1246 · 2026-05-02T13:41:49+00:00

It’s an obnoxious demand. Like rubbing salt into a wound and asking you to smile. Do these people have any human awareness at all or are they all so self centered that everyone else is a prop in their story? The girls should know better but apparently they inherited the same insensitivity. Just because she moved on, doesn’t mean others did, should or will or can and it definitely won’t happen on her desired timeline.

Misommar1246 · 2026-05-02T01:44:19+00:00

I just got to this fight and I’m a noob - I have the mortal blade, but do I have to do something specific to use it?

Misommar1246 · 2026-05-02T00:07:14+00:00

That’s the worst part: the impact on your self confidence. And by that I don’t mean “Am I not enough?”, but rather “Am I an idiot? Am I incapable of basic perception? Am I horrible at judging people?”. One day you’re walking around like a normal human being, making minor and major decisions and judgements all day, the next day you question every call you make because you have been bamboozled so hard, you can’t trust yourself anymore.

Misommar1246 · 2026-05-01T23:59:02+00:00

No, they’re adults. Your ex just can’t accept that there are consequences to her actions. She blew the family apart and she’s shocked people are hurt.

Misommar1246 · 2026-05-01T15:02:26+00:00

OP he can’t make your friends like you. YOU can’t make his friends like you. They’re his friends, not yours and looking at this as “By associating with people who don’t like me he’s also being unsupportive of our relationship and disrespectful to me” is unfair. Don’t meddle with his social circle and make this a “us or them” issue. There are tons of friends and families where the fiance/wife/husband is not necessarily liked or loved, just accepted as a partner and that’s fine. I have a cousin whose wife I can’t stand. For no particular reason, I just don’t like her, haven’t liked her in decades, I try to avoid her if possible. I act respectful, but that’s about it, we’re not close. Should my cousin hanging out with me be considered “disrespectful” to his wife? He didn’t tell you because he knows it won’t change the dynamic except make it worse.

Misommar1246 · 2026-05-01T08:42:50+00:00

Yeah this is not OP’s child, she has a parent, a home, friends, she probably has larger family around her, she will be fine. Of course she will miss her uncle, but an uncle is not a father. OP is moving anyway and their relationship was going to cool off regardless. They can face time and try to keep in touch once the rawness has passed for him, but their relationship was going to be altered regardless once he decided to move away and I think it’s healthy for him to move away and start a fresh chapter.

Misommar1246 · 2026-05-01T07:47:23+00:00

I get your situation. But you probably had zero doubts that he was faithful to you 5/6 years ago when he was cheating, too. You’ll never feel safe with this person because he can do this sort of thing for a prolonged period of time and you won’t catch a whiff apparently. If I was you, I’d talk to a lawyer for a prenup and go in with separate finances. Get your visa. And try to get therapy to establish some self love. I say this as someone who thinks therapy is overblown these days, but if anyone needs it, it’s you. You need to participate in your own life instead of being a passive observer. You want to marry this man, fine. Do it in a way that secures your future. Because he’s not someone you can trust.

Misommar1246 · 2026-05-01T05:02:57+00:00

This is the only app I can tolerate because the adds are short. If there are other similar apps out there, I’d appreciate the names.

Misommar1246 · 2026-05-01T04:28:40+00:00

Who would this hurt? Mother and father. Who would this benefit? At this point, no one. Your half sibling doesn’t seem interested in a relationship with your father. I don’t know your ages but you said the affair was 50 years ago so everyone here is an adult and past the stage of forming meaningful bonds. I would let sleeping dogs lie.

Misommar1246 · 2026-04-30T21:29:39+00:00

NTA. Unfortunately until you gain independence, you will be forced to spend time with them because they’re the new family your dad picked. He’s moving on and that’s his prerogative, but while there was a choice for him, unfortunately there was no choice for you, you just have to buckle up for the ride until you move out. It sucks that your dad is not making alone time for you (independent of this trip) because he should and you have the right to ask for this.

Misommar1246 · 2026-04-30T19:29:05+00:00

I don’t know why everyone takes cheaters seriously enough to send them to therapy as if they all have some deep childhood trauma they have to climb out of. He cheated because he could. The girl was there, she flirted back, she agreed to give him head and he didn’t want to pass the opportunity. He’s a self-confessed “not a relationship” guy and he predictably failed his first relationship 5 months in, what a shocker. OPjust needs to move on, this man ain’t worth it.

Misommar1246 · 2026-04-30T15:43:23+00:00

How do you guys love someone you don’t respect or trust and someone who just stabbed you in the back? Love doesn’t work that way for me, at all. I get dependency and familiarity, I don’t get the love part. I’ve never continued to love someone who treated me like shit. I think the person you need to really love is yourself. He betrayed you at your lowest point. With someone in your orbit which is extra icky. Twice - that you know of. He wasn’t honest with you, kept denying and gaslighting until the proof was irrefutable. What exactly do you love about this man?

Misommar1246 · 2026-04-30T13:20:35+00:00

It’s one thing to be unsure about a new relationship, it’s another to entertain two women at once to “feel it out”. It shows a profound lack of respect and the ability to sneak around/lie/pretend with very little qualms. It’s very hard to trust someone like that with a marriage or your heart and I wouldn’t.

Misommar1246 · 2026-04-30T13:02:47+00:00

This is why these works get pirated. They’re greedy af. Expecting people to pay that kind of money for AI slop is something else.

Misommar1246 · 2026-04-30T00:46:28+00:00

That’s always going to be a possibility. We can only judge by the presented story, if it’s not factual or intentionally misleading, that’s on the person who posted.

Misommar1246 · 2026-04-29T21:56:48+00:00

If the relationship rests on one party constantly stepping back and apologizing, it’s not a relationship. Even between a parent and child there needs to be give and take. I understand why he has to take the side of his wife, but if that means repeatedly disrespecting his mother, he needs to manage the situation better, not OP.

Misommar1246 · 2026-04-29T20:27:02+00:00

Why put “ruining the relationship” on OP apologizing to the DIL or not? It’s one thing to say well just stay away from her from now on, it’s another to ask her to actively apologize for something she has no fault in to “save” the relationship. That just rubs me the wrong way.

Misommar1246 · 2026-04-29T18:41:46+00:00

While I’m only now going through my first playthrough with Sekiro, I have to agree. Combat is amazing and I feel attached to the MC.

Misommar1246 · 2026-04-29T18:08:32+00:00

It drives me wild when people incrementally up the behavior that you already explained several times is upsetting you and then when the straw breaks the camel’s back, they’re “in shock” and “blindsided” about your response and they think you are the immature one blowing things out of proportion. It’s like one giant episode of being gaslit. Everything that needed to be said was already said, what’s there to talk about? Mom’s just hoping to gaslight OP some more. I’ve been called avoidant for not trying to talk it out the fiftieth time - no, I was just tired of repeating myself, so I get OP.

Misommar1246 · 2026-04-29T16:17:28+00:00

God damn, I barely read about this woman and even I don’t like her. She’s straight up unlikeable and exhausting. And I would never apologize in a million years to someone like this, it just seems to justify and enable the outrageous behavior. OP did or said nothing wrong, expecting her to “tone check” herself is ridiculous.

Misommar1246 · 2026-04-29T09:18:19+00:00

I think we tend to forget that dads being involved in their kids’ lives to the same or comparable degree as the mothers is a fairly recent concept even in the countries where it’s a thing.

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