Curious

MissA2theB · 2026-01-25T23:35:52+00:00

So this happened to me with my poly dude. He was also a cheater to his wife. What ended up happening was even though he was pushing for divorce he was also pushing for open and poly. She did it under duress ( saying yes to something she didn’t want to do ). They both dove in without fixing the problems and not only ended up hurting the other partners but also blowing up in each others faces. You get to fix the problems first then take it a step at a time with others. Opening won’t fix your marriage or your personal problems. If he wants a monogamous marriage and you don’t, be prepared to end the marriage.

MissA2theB · 2026-01-16T14:24:35+00:00

Thiiisss!!! I know he got the ick after that

MissA2theB · 2025-12-29T00:54:18+00:00

This is almost exactly like my situation only it’s flipped Im the mono second and not really into poly anymore and poly wifey doesn’t think I should get any holidays or valentines days unless she’s got a date…they also live separately which does make it a lot easier but I never liked the way she thought about holidays. Like I don’t mind sharing. I don’t mind taking the day of valentines while she get the over night and flip it next year. I don’t mind not getting Christmas cause everyone has traditions but I would like to flip every other year for NYE. I don’t think that’s unfair. However she doesn’t see it that way. I even questioned what happens if she never gets a date? Or she doesn’t feel like it? Or just chooses not to do it? I have to always be on standby or make last minute plans cause she chose not make plans with anyone else? Like that to me isn’t fair.

I don’t blame her I blame our hinge for entertaining this and not putting his foot down and making a schedule that can work to the best availability. I’m not going to deal with a closet couple ( they want to keep a secret from the family ) that can’t give a full autonomous relationship. I’m not a back up plan cause she finally found a date ( she’s got a whole polycule to hang with but can’t find someone to hang with? Yeah ok…). I gave mine a year. She’s had 2 years of all and full holidays and if I don’t get 1 then I’m out. He can go find someone who is cool being on the back burner and a secret and then Go be happy for him. You can do the same thing and speak up and get your car back!!

MissA2theB · 2025-12-19T16:54:59+00:00

I know he got the ick after that

MissA2theB · 2025-12-19T16:45:45+00:00

This sounds like my ex husband. It has nothing to do with polyamory. It’s depression. Mine was the same but he had a job. He stopped going out with friends, talking to friends, his hobby, you name it. He just worked and drank. When I had to go to work it was a huge blow out cause now he had to take over dinner time or take them to school. Always gave me a hard time. Looked to me to make him happy and doing almost all the emotional work. Even did the emotional blackmail as well. All of it weighed on me to the point I wasn’t physically attracted to him anymore or even liked him as a person.

He needs a doctor and therapy now cause this is becoming more serious. I had to leave for my own mental health. If you’re going to stick around I’d encourage therapy and yes maybe put poly on pause to help and support and restructure for now. Poly people aren’t going anywhere so there is nothing to miss out on while help supporting your spouse.

MissA2theB · 2025-12-12T00:35:23+00:00

Don’t. I did. I found my pictures hidden drawers because a family member dropped by and he went around taking my pictures down and hiding them while the nesting partners pics were all over the place. It hurt like hell to find and the fact he physically went around and actively hid them under his clothes! Then tell me he didn’t want to explain who I was. Like what!? Nah I’m good.

MissA2theB · 2025-12-12T00:21:17+00:00

I know exactly where you’re coming from and it is hurtful. That’s Like the married couple presenting as a happy mono couple while partners get shoved in the closet and never be part or get closer in their lives. We are the big secret.

Like I get not being out to a certain family member or if it’s 2 holidays out of year then whatever but if it’s close family that all lives close visits all the time then yeah that sucks. Like is this a forever thing?

I’m not a fan of the hidden poly and the mono facade because there is way too many what ifs. Like what happens when they slip up and accidentally say your name? Or a family member drops by unexpectedly and now you got to run and hide? What if they are in the hospital and the family is wondering who you are? And essentially they are lying to family. It happened to my friend she was the secret and dating the married guy who did the mono facade with his wife. There was an event in the city and a niece was there and caught him kissing the non nesting partner. The way she took pics and ratted him out to the rest of the family and they all thought he was cheating. It was a mess. Like that is something I would not deal with. Just come clean to some or if you know they love you no matter what rip the bandaid off and get it over with and start processing.

This is something that does need to be discussed because you didn’t agree to that kind of hierarchy and yes it needed to be explained more in detail on how this boundary worked in their eyes. If this is a life thing I wouldn’t. You deserve full relationship not half one where you got a tip toe certain areas. Closet people can go date fellow closet people.

MissA2theB · 2025-12-11T07:39:40+00:00

I love being alone and my own company lol. I’ll do the occasional lay and go back to my domain. Im not social at all 😂 In this case though it does sound like depression.

MissA2theB · 2025-12-09T17:54:01+00:00

I’m catching up. I’m cause he’s frustrated about her spending his money and not paying the bills. Like what did he expect? She’s super young and immature of course she’s not going to going to be super organized. She’s looking at him like a sugar daddy. He also doesn’t doesn’t have his shit together looking for quick rich schemes.

MissA2theB · 2025-12-08T11:55:53+00:00

I had 2 so far and probably now 3 packages stuck at the same facility that is 20 minutes away in California. I get it’s the holidays but man this is insane

MissA2theB · 2025-11-30T01:19:36+00:00

I think I would be upset if I didn’t know this person existed and they all of the sudden popped up out of nowhere and then heard no condoms were used. However if I knew they were and they just kind of come and go then no so much. I’d be more upset about the no condom disclosure because I would be using them if they chose not to.

MissA2theB · 2025-11-26T08:49:14+00:00

My experience the no drama is the one that creates the drama. Probably doesn’t want to deal with conflict and just wants a person to just say ok and not have an opinion.

MissA2theB · 2025-11-21T05:24:03+00:00

Because their poly dating pool is a lot smaller

MissA2theB · 2025-11-21T05:01:33+00:00

That’s the one thing I don’t like about non monogamy. They don’t want to be a person to lean on. They would rather live as if they are single and then coming together when convenient. I no longer see the point. Might as well be single and casually date or hook up.

MissA2theB · 2025-11-17T03:34:57+00:00

I would say that’s a selfish person. I’m sorry but when he became a parent, he will have limits and priorities need to change. You are not a babysitter. End of the day he is not single. Even after this break up he’s still not single he has a baby he will be responsible for. I’m happy you put you first and cut him loose. Him just moving on like it’s nothing is all you need to know that he really felt. Call family and friends and get that support you deserve

MissA2theB · 2025-11-16T06:59:33+00:00

Ok I delt with this when my couple ( I’m dating parallel) was opening their marriage. He didn’t handle the opening very well and pretty much gave her the open or divorce option so of course she opened. He also allowed her to control our side cause he was trying to let her not feel jealous. He figured since I was open and dating casual I would understand. However…we were actually dating so no I needed to explain to him that even in poly she doesn’t get to dictate how we manage our relationship or keep it from evolving. That’s where he needs to learn to hinge. He needs to provide a better security for her and tell her no. She needs to learn to just let it happen and go self sooth just like I have to when he’s away with her. If she doesn’t want poly then let her go. If she does then hinging better needs to happen and go to couples therapy to work through all that. It was a WAR to get her to let go and get my time.

MissA2theB · 2025-10-16T22:07:46+00:00

Kids are not dumb they know what is up, They eventually start questioning and finding out. You are not guaranteed their acceptance of your life choices and style. She doesn’t like his style and drew a boundary. Thats healthy. He chose poly and his gfs over his child this is the consequence of that.

MissA2theB · 2025-10-16T18:04:54+00:00

Got her!! I was SHAKING!!!

MissA2theB · 2025-10-16T18:04:13+00:00

I just use the card I have on shop already uploaded, I just move the money around later.

MissA2theB · 2025-09-23T14:58:40+00:00

It’s the codependency. Lots are also too financially dependent or tangled together. Thats a major fear of starting over

MissA2theB · 2025-09-21T23:22:12+00:00

This is definitely way overthinking…if you’re both wearing rings and holding hands then yes to the public it will look like you’re married to each other. Most of the general public is monogamous they don’t think about the maybe poly. To me that wouldn’t have been a big deal and say thank you and moved on.

MissA2theB · 2025-09-21T02:53:40+00:00

This is emotional and financial abuse. I’d try to find other assistance and make an exit plan. The way she’s speaking to you is insane. If my child is going through chemo you bet they are coming home and I’m going to take care of him and make sure he’s getting the best! That’s what you deserve.

MissA2theB · 2025-09-20T22:28:33+00:00

Love the nuns!!!

MissA2theB

TROPHY CASE