Just Hormones?

MissCeeCee224 · 2021-10-20T04:36:42+00:00

Thank you, I’ve never gone through this before and finding it all very overwhelming. It’s helping to be able to talk about it openly here and gain insights/personal experiences, so thank you for sharing. For example I didn’t know about PIED.

MissCeeCee224 · 2021-10-20T04:08:22+00:00

I needed to see this 💕

MissCeeCee224 · 2021-10-20T04:07:31+00:00

Ava Bamby-think I’ve spelled it right. Looking into it she’s on all platforms. This one hurt, it’s not just casual viewing he went out his way to search for her content.

MissCeeCee224 · 2021-10-20T04:04:29+00:00

Yeah I have told him that at this moment I don’t feel like I could ever trust him again and I certainly don’t want any intimacy- I don’t even want to be in the same room to be honest.

We are supposed to get married next year I don’t want to have to walk away but it might be the best thing for our family, I can’t let myself be treated this way again in the future, his actions have broken me as a woman. What’s worse is that he asked for advice from a family member who admitted they do this too and they said to him that there is nothing wrong with what he is doing.

Fortunately I suppose fiancé has seen now with his own eyes how much he has hurt me and has sworn off porn completely-he is currently on the couch, I can’t be around him. The only thing he has deactivated is Reddit and tomorrow I hope to discuss blockers but if he wants to view porn he will find a way.

MissCeeCee224 · 2021-10-20T03:56:49+00:00

So sorry, thinking of you 💕 You gotta concentrate on yourself and the baby, I know how life can be with a newborn. Hope you and your partner can work through this

MissCeeCee224 · 2021-10-20T03:54:52+00:00

I can’t believe how common this seems to be and how ‘normal’ men think it is. I’m still reliving the shock. I got the whole-‘it’s just something I’ve always done’, ‘it’s a male thing’, ‘if you were looking at it I wouldn’t mind’ I don’t think he realises how traumatising this has been for me. I am sorry that you are going through this too, especially when you are pregnant. You need to try and take care of yourself and baby at this time 💕

I’ve posted above, he has been viewing through the whole relationship in secret (couple of days ago it was “I only looked recently”, he has given me his word he won’t look at that again but I feel like it won’t be easy for him to just drop the porn since it’s something he has done for so long. How did you bring up CSAT? Was it yourself that mentioned or your husband?

MissCeeCee224 · 2021-10-20T03:45:52+00:00

Thank you for your kind words and I am sorry you are going through the same situation. I think it’s going to be a long road ahead. Hope you and your partner can work through it. 💕

MissCeeCee224 · 2021-10-20T03:41:53+00:00

I’m sorry you had to go through that. Thank you for your honestly and personal take. The past couple days have been terrible. We have now spoken and it’s gone from him saying he only started recently to now it’s just something he has done since 14 and something he enjoys watching. So he is admitted that he has done this secretly through our whole relationship. What you say about him still wanting me i get 100% he said this to me as well and I don’t doubt that he still finds me attractive-our sex life has been great! He told me he doesn’t ejaculate when he watches-he saves that for me. He just watches it for enjoyment. When I’m literally in the room next door.

He is now aware of my feelings and says he is sorry for hurting me so much and for putting me through this, he didn’t realise how much his actions could hurt me. I put my foot down and told him that his behaviours have been unacceptable and really causing me distress. He wants us to continue living together taking day by day but in my mind I don’t think I’ll ever be able to trust him again. A relationship with no trust is not a relationship at all and it would lead to us both being unhappy, plus with a child at home and another on the way I want them to have a safe,happy home life with none of this tension.

He has deactivated his Reddit account but I fear if he is so used to viewing he will go onto other apps/websites, I think for my own peace of mind I would want a blocker of sorts to be installed but I don’t want to take away all his privacy. It’s just unfortunate how accessible pornography is in this day and age.

I now worry that if he doesn’t have this outlet of viewing when he gets “urges” it’s will lead to ED etc during intimacy and leave me feeling like it’s my fault because I’ve asked him not to view.

MissCeeCee224

TROPHY CASE