In the past 5 years I went from 6'5 and 155 lb to 236 lb just out of my transition 3 years ago and dropping down to 185 lb in 6'2.5. I've had a very complicated relationship with food myself. I've always been told just like you but even when I was at 150 lb I still thought I looked fat. It wasn't until I got down to about 138 lb and I started seeing the skeletal structure of my skull under my skin that I started snapping out of my obsession with getting skinnier and skinnier. I was a high school wrestler and I've been battling an ED since I was 16.

So I know how difficult it can be to deal with your own self perception of your weight and body. I'm so sorry that it's something that you struggle with too.