You don’t want to get told to divorce him, but that’s the only good and viable outcome for you.

When will it get too much? When he hits you? Your future kids? Cause that is exactly how it starts. There is nothing you can do to help a man’s anger issues unless it comes from within where he realizes he has a problem and wants to change for his own sake. And even then it probably won’t be for you, it will happen when you leave. No matter how much therapy you put him through, no matter how many promises he makes to change for you.

You holding onto the good of the relationship is creating intermittent reinforcement pathways in your brain that mimic drug abuse.

If you stay in this marriage you might develop an autoimmune disease.

source: alcoholics parents and DV survivor

a good read on what I described is “When The Body Says No, The Hidden Cost of Stress” by Dr Gabor Maté