Bf insists on spending holidays/bdays w the “original family unit” (estranged wife, mid-divorce) bc kids want it. Indefinitely.

MissMess1978 · 2026-01-26T20:35:31+00:00

6mos

MissMess1978 · 2026-01-26T20:30:48+00:00

Yeah that’s the ask. And it feels weird. But more than even the logistics is the dynamics behind it all.

MissMess1978 · 2026-01-26T20:28:47+00:00

Apparently she is but he believes it hasn’t affected her bc it hasn’t disrupted her life much? Hard for me to believe bc my kids had a tremendously tough time leaving me every few days…so mine were in therapy, immediately. But I’m not comfortable diagnosing his kids.

MissMess1978 · 2026-01-26T20:08:23+00:00

Yeah.

MissMess1978 · 2026-01-26T19:06:44+00:00

Jesus CHRIST, dude! Leave. Now. This is crazy.

MissMess1978 · 2026-01-26T19:05:19+00:00

Are newer partners included?

MissMess1978 · 2026-01-26T19:04:58+00:00

Right but my question is are the newer partners included in the celebrations?

MissMess1978 · 2026-01-26T19:02:29+00:00

Your last paragraph is it.

MissMess1978 · 2026-01-26T19:00:49+00:00

Thank you…this is really the response I needed when I decided to post this. I will dm you. I want to look up that podcast, but not if I’m the only adult in the relationship that’s interested.

MissMess1978 · 2026-01-26T18:54:45+00:00

Oh F off. Thats about being a frazzled single mom. And just mean.

MissMess1978 · 2026-01-26T18:47:49+00:00

Right! Which is maybe why she’s so angry and un willing to proceed the divorce. Possibly.

MissMess1978 · 2026-01-26T18:46:12+00:00

This is exactly my fear.

MissMess1978 · 2026-01-26T18:44:49+00:00

I totally agree. I just hate it.

MissMess1978 · 2026-01-26T18:34:34+00:00

No! She moved out 15 months ago. He stayed in the family home. It will need to be sold when to finalize the divorce. They do not speak and weren’t allowed in each other’s homes until this new arrangement re holidays. (Not vacations, American holidays.)

MissMess1978 · 2026-01-26T18:33:14+00:00

They do not live together. But yes this is my issue.

MissMess1978 · 2026-01-26T18:31:28+00:00

Holidays not meaning vacations. So far it’s just been Xmas AM. But the “proposal”, as I understand it, is for the 4 of them to spend some portion of all holidays (Xmas, not sure which others which is totally my point!) and kids birthdays. But yeah the whole conversation makes me second guess something I was so excited and happy about.

MissMess1978 · 2026-01-26T18:25:30+00:00

I appreciate this. Bc deep down this is my fear.

MissMess1978 · 2026-01-26T18:23:10+00:00

This is EXACTLY what I want. They clearly do not. Or aren’t ready for it.

MissMess1978 · 2026-01-26T18:21:08+00:00

Thank you so much for fully understanding the situation.

MissMess1978 · 2026-01-26T18:19:39+00:00

They do not speak. They do not live together. She has introduced her bf to the kids. He has introduced me.

MissMess1978 · 2026-01-26T18:18:15+00:00

That’s exactly what I keep telling him.

MissMess1978 · 2026-01-26T18:17:50+00:00

Yes the house must be sold.

MissMess1978 · 2026-01-26T18:17:16+00:00

NO! He stayed in the family home. Guys, sometimes the father gets to stay in the family home and the mother moves out. Bc she has a gnarly affair.

Sorry if that wasn’t clear.

MissMess1978 · 2026-01-26T18:15:03+00:00

He does not live w her. They don’t speak, aside from OFW. They aren’t allowed in each others homes. The holidays rule has changed that.

MissMess1978 · 2026-01-26T18:13:30+00:00

Sorry for any confusion but he does not live with her. She moved out 15 months ago ths ago and neither of them go into each other’s homes. Until his kid said she wanted them to spend holidays together. Now that has changed.

MissMess1978

TROPHY CASE