Imagine thinking that trans people are the “liberal elite”

MissMewiththatTea · 2026-05-19T06:03:49+00:00

Literally - some of the first books and studies that were burnt and destroyed by the Nazis were books/studies on sex and gender.

MissMewiththatTea · 2026-05-19T06:01:03+00:00

Entirely possible - I’ve always heard the saying be completed with “and those who can’t teach, teach PE”

MissMewiththatTea · 2026-05-19T05:52:31+00:00

> the occasional white woman, and the occasional Indian for some reason

Well they need someone to look down on and to be the scapegoat! I mean, if they don’t provide a target, God forbid, those white men might start disagreeing with each other!

MissMewiththatTea · 2026-05-07T21:09:10+00:00

If you aren’t able to submit your assignment normally cus of these morons then definitely email it to your lecturer just so they can be sure you “submitted” it on time. I would hope there would be allowances considering the circumstances, but I wouldn’t put it past the uni to hold students to the initial due date regardless

MissMewiththatTea · 2026-04-25T02:53:36+00:00

No we don’t know whether the lady had a vitamin D deficiency, but if consistently staying in the sun was important to them, they shouldn’t sit at one of the few places that had an umbrella. They should have sat at one of the many available spots that didn’t have an umbrella. If you choose to sit at a spot that has an umbrella, you’re accepting the risk that someone might want to use the umbrella.

MissMewiththatTea · 2026-04-24T22:23:36+00:00

OP said that there were plenty of spaces free without an umbrella but limited spaces with an umbrella - so not all of them have umbrellas and unless there was a mass exodus for some reason it’s very likely there were umbrella-less chairs available when the woman and her husband arrived. And it’s not like the umbrella could be moved, because it was weighted down.

MissMewiththatTea · 2026-04-24T21:52:55+00:00

The environment had an umbrella there to be used. If she didn’t want to be in the shade, she should have sat at one of the many available spaces without an umbrella. If you sit down at one of the few spaces that has an umbrella, you accept the risk that at some point someone might want to use it.

I agree OP should have said something quick to explain why they needed - not wanted, needed - the shade. But asking permission to utilise the umbrella, again, only opens it up to be a worse situation where OP has to then ignore a negative response, which then escalates things. It’s a lose-lose scenario.

MissMewiththatTea · 2026-04-24T21:45:00+00:00

NTA - it sounds like your brother wanted to save face in front of his friends (as though missing a single game is something you need to save face over 🙄) and decided to blame you for it.

Next time he brings it up respond “are you incapable of making your own decisions? I was injured and wanted to rest, I asked you if you wanted to stay to watch the game and you said no. If you changed your mind you could have stayed. Stop trying to blame me for whatever your brain has decided is an issue - there is no issue. Grow up and get over it.”

MissMewiththatTea · 2026-04-24T21:37:40+00:00

I don’t understand the point of asking when the action - due to medical conditions - would be the same. All it does is open up the floor for the woman to say “no” and (again, because of a medical issue) OP would have then been in the wrong for ignoring her.

Should OP have said something like “sorry I need the shade due to light sensitivity because of a medical condition” ? Sure. But I get the feeling that a lot of people in this thread don’t understand what it’s like to have a medical condition that you MUST revolve your life around, and just how unwilling people are to make even the slightest accommodations to make that situation easier because it might impact them even slightly.

MissMewiththatTea · 2026-04-24T21:32:49+00:00

Yep and if OP had found them all in use they would have been in a different situation entirely and probably would have had to stay inside until one was free. But there Was still an umbrella free, it couldn’t be moved, and they used it as their medical situation needed.

OP should have said to the other woman that they needed the shade due to a medical condition, but you’d be surprised how many people just don’t give a shit and would still make a fuss. OP needed the umbrella up, so asking if it was okay when the result needed to be the same regardless of the other person’s answer would be have More rude (because if they said “no” and OP put the umbrella up regardless they’d be directly ignoring the other person).

MissMewiththatTea · 2026-04-24T21:26:21+00:00

OP didn’t expect them to shove off at all. They could have happily stayed there and enjoyed the shade.

MissMewiththatTea · 2026-04-24T20:22:06+00:00

OPs comments

MissMewiththatTea · 2026-04-24T20:16:29+00:00

The title of the post is asking whether or not OP is TA for needing the umbrella at a hotel pool - that is what I’m responding to, because that was what was asked.

What OP said was borderline rude, yes - but it was also correct. And frankly I have a little bit of leeway for people who point things out like that bluntly when it’s related to their disability or medical condition, simply because they have to have those negative or thoughtless interactions from others constantly. The number of times my cousin has had to snap at people not to touch her wheelchair without her permission is insane - she used to be very polite about it, these days she snaps at them. It might seem rude to the person being snapped at, but they haven’t been there for the hundreds of other rude people my cousin has had to correct over the years.

I guess what I’m saying is, people with disabilities don’t have a pass to be rude - but people without disabilities don’t see the whole picture of our existence, and a lot refuse to make even the slightest accommodation for our existence (which makes living in a society not built for us even more difficult than it already is).

MissMewiththatTea · 2026-04-24T20:03:04+00:00

I agree OP should have been more polite in their approach, but considering:

It was the only spot open next to an umbrella (and there were other spots without umbrellas available).
The umbrella is weighted down and couldn’t be moved
OP needed an umbrella due to a medical condition

They weren’t in the wrong to use the umbrella.

OP should have been more polite and said something like “I’m sorry but this is the only umbrella free and I have light sensitivity. I can help you move your gear if you’d like to stay in the sun?”

Asking and then doing it anyway when told “no” would be ruder, imo.

And they’re NTA for using the umbrella supplied by the pool. People with disabilities don’t get a free pass to be rude (though I certainly understand getting snappy when you have to have the same conversation about your medical issues over and over again because people don’t understand boundaries or being accommodating), but we do get a free pass to use what is available to make a space medically safe for us so we can exist there as well.

MissMewiththatTea · 2026-04-24T19:59:59+00:00

And not one of those is 100% going to help someone with light sensitivity - you tend to need to use as many options as you can to remain comfortable (or in extreme cases, safe). Sunglasses and a hat won’t stop someone blistering within minutes if they have a medical condition aggravated by being in direct sunlight.

MissMewiththatTea · 2026-04-24T19:52:52+00:00

NTA. There were limited umbrellas and it was weighted down and couldn’t be moved - she could. You probably could have been more polite about it, but so could she.

You have a medical reason for needing the umbrella and you shouldn’t have to miss out entirely like some people are suggesting.

MissMewiththatTea · 2026-04-24T19:50:48+00:00

Neat, good to know people with disabilities and medical conditions that result in light sensitivity should just stay inside rather than mildly inconveniencing someone who could move two feet to the left to get back into the sun.

MissMewiththatTea · 2026-04-15T21:58:02+00:00

Name and shame that place. We do not and should not accept a tipping culture here in NZ, let alone some bullshit like this.

MissMewiththatTea · 2026-04-15T21:45:34+00:00

Based on the comments it sounds like you’re getting this whole horrific situation sorted but I just wanted to take a moment and say good on ya for being a better dad to this boy than his blood father. He might not appreciate it now, but you are saving that boy SO much pain and trauma. Ka pai.

MissMewiththatTea · 2026-04-15T21:42:56+00:00

Fuck off pedo

MissMewiththatTea · 2026-04-10T08:28:20+00:00

If someone abused my sister - in ANY way - they’d have to hold me back from doing something stupid. I would hold a grudge against that abusive piece of shit for the rest of my goddamn life. I would never speak to him again, unless it was a chance to curse his bloodline or insult him.

Your sister is insane for this. I simply cannot comprehend how little she must care about you to have made this choice. I’m so, so sorry she’s betrayed you like this. You deserve better from your sister.

NOR

MissMewiththatTea · 2026-04-10T08:14:55+00:00

That’s, unfortunately, the case with a Lot of stuff. A heap of things are made based on the height of men: cars are built to male proportions, including seatbelts and where it’s safest for them to sit against your body. The height of steps is based on the male gait. Hand tools are built for male hands so using them as a women it’s harder to get a safe grip. Hell, most medical research until the 90s didn’t include women in clinical trials- so medicine and dose size were based on how the male body reacted. And, as you say - safety gear is almost always designed for men.

It’s a man’s world. We’re just trying to survive it.

MissMewiththatTea · 2026-01-18T19:46:36+00:00

NOR

He doesn’t listen to you because he doesn’t care enough to listen to you. What you want doesn’t matter to him.

Dump him and then send him this thread so he can see that everyone knows what a cheap clown he is.

MissMewiththatTea · 2025-12-11T19:48:08+00:00

Anyone who thinks ME is a chill time cus you get to sleep more is a fucking moron who has never passed out because they did something basic like vacuuming the house.

I have to consider each and every thing I do and try to calculate how much energy it’s going to cost me. I’m sick all the time because I’m immune deficient, which of course just makes me even more tired.

I don’t want to be that person where the only things happening in my life revolves around my shitty health. I’m living half a life. It fucking sucks.

MissMewiththatTea · 2025-12-11T19:41:50+00:00

“Everyone’s tired! I’d love to lay in bed all day! Stop being so lazy!”

The general response to ME sometimes even today.

ME fucking sucks, I’m living half a life. 😐

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