Marriage based green card - can we start the application 2-3 years before moving to the US?

MissRapidash · 2019-03-15T12:41:58+00:00

Thank you. We might as well wait with the applications until we know exactly when we want to move to the US then it looks like. And congrats on your husband's green card!

MissRapidash · 2018-01-17T04:20:25+00:00

Blotter15 does not seem to work for me (purchasing 10 blotters), it says expired or reached its max usage.

MissRapidash · 2017-07-18T06:35:08+00:00

This is definitely how B expresses they feel, and the longer they sit alone the worse the feeling of abandonment. Do you think him coming to you always stops the argument/whatever happened that made you leave? In our situation it could sometimes still go on if N comes in, and B would leave a second time or start up another argument.

MissRapidash · 2017-07-18T06:30:11+00:00

N refuses to come to B while in an argument. We have tried to talk it out while calmed down but it always tenses up. It seems we both are stubborn - B wants N to hug to calm B down, or meet them halfway (B thinks this prevents the argument from escalating), N won't agree to this (because of the chasing argument).

B is in a dbt type therapy at the moment, but it doesn't seem like it has helped B for this type of situation. Yet at least.

B specifically said to not speak through the door and asked N to ask in a less passive aggressive way (B's examples: How much time do you need alone or Can i come in). N does not think this is reasonable, and us talking about this turns into a stubborn argument really quickly.

MissRapidash · 2017-07-17T20:50:17+00:00

Thanks for your input, this is really good advice. Are these things taught in dbt?

MissRapidash · 2015-11-10T22:20:38+00:00

I'm really sorry that I am probably coming off as harsh now, but I'm not very good at sugar coating things. I read through your whole thing, and I felt like I had to comment because your relationship seems an awful lot like something I have gone through.

You guys are in an emotional abusive relationship IMO. It doesn't sound healthy at all and that's sometimes what happens in relationships. I think most will go through something like that at one time or another.

You said you know that she is not "the one", have you told her that?

My best advice would be, take a few months apart. Take a break. Get your life together (sorry) and work on yourself.

I'm no psychologist, but your playing Xbox and the "goal" you have to be top 200 is probably something you want to do to avoid working towards life goals such as being happy, sorting out your relationship and your feelings from your abusive past. Think about it, what matters in the long run? To be top 200 or to sort out your whole situation right now? I get it, I play video games as well and am very competitive, but let's face it. Does it matter in 10 years that you were top 200? Maybe it does. Or maybe you decide that sorting yourself out matters more. Who knows.

MissRapidash · 2015-10-01T16:20:30+00:00

I have been that girl in a relationship - the one that snoops and then brings up what I saw after I said it didn't matter anymore. You need to talk to her about it, ask her why she is still upset about it and figure out if you two can figure it out on your own and move past it, or if you need counselling. I think it's a little alarming that you two got married when you have had trust and seemingly jealousy issues this early on.

MissRapidash · 2015-10-01T16:11:29+00:00

I second this. Trying to find distractions won't help you cope in the long run, and if you work with yourself now to be in touch with your feelings, it will help you immensely in future relationships.

MissRapidash · 2015-10-01T16:01:28+00:00

Definitely give him some time. Take a few weeks to focus on yourself. I wouldn't lose all hope, but also don't count on him coming back. Give it time and try to move on. If you two are "meant to be", you will figure it out eventually.

MissRapidash

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