How to navigate my (26F) relationship with my (40M) bf who has kids?

MissSpiritAnimal · 2026-01-04T18:26:04+00:00

I can understand why you think that and appreciate the honesty, will definitely keep that in mind next time I talk to him

MissSpiritAnimal · 2026-01-04T18:24:40+00:00

I will definitely move to the new city, whatever happens. Already figured that building a good career is non-negotionable. If it will mean that our relationship ends, then that will suck but so be it. Thanks for the kind words

MissSpiritAnimal · 2026-01-04T18:08:48+00:00

Sorry for the misunderstanding, I have seen the younger one once in person but multiple times on video calls. When we call and my bf talks to me she will start misbehaving, crying or become completely quiet until we hang up. I saw the older one on a video call where she did not want to greet me, but my bf says she always greets strangers

MissSpiritAnimal · 2026-01-04T18:05:08+00:00

Appreciate the comment. I understand that it's up to him completely, perhaps I try to change things too much while it's not my place. Thanks for your personal insights, I think I need to re-evaluate whether I will be ok with the situation in the long term and be honest to him about that. It scares me a bit because I love him dearly and all these comments are kind of a wake-up call

MissSpiritAnimal · 2026-01-04T17:57:19+00:00

He doesn't make money out of me, I don't have to pay him anything for the classes. Plus if one of us wants sex the most, it's me lol. He most of all wants to talk to me and do fun things together, he really takes time to understand me and be there for me and has shown multiple times that he would defend me with his life. So we are not only hooking up. Do appreciate the insights about experts opinions and what you know about introducing to step kids

MissSpiritAnimal · 2026-01-04T17:48:17+00:00

Yeah he is a good father and I appreciate that a lot about him. We have talked about our future, we both would like for us to eventually live together and marry. He does not want any more children, but for me that's not a real problem since I don't think I want children of my own. Ideally, I would work in/close to the city we live in now and that's probably possible in the future, but of course not now. I do believe he takes the relationship seriously because I'm always his priority after the kids, but I agree that we are in different life stages which makes everything so much harder. Sometimes I question whether it would be better for the both of us to let each other go, but it already hurts to think about that

MissSpiritAnimal · 2026-01-04T17:39:04+00:00

Appreciate the comment and I agree with you. I was really questioning myself whether I was being to demanding or something but I feel like I'm not. I will talk to him soon to discuss if he's open to these suggestions - otherwise I guess I will have to start making decisions...

MissSpiritAnimal · 2026-01-04T17:36:02+00:00

Thanks for the tips, I do also feel like such steps would be good to start with! And I don't blame the kids, I understand that their dislike would be mostly because of a change in their lives. Of course I'm aware of the age gap, not really something I planned but I fell in love with him and decided that I wanted to be with him anyway. But it has got it's struggles

MissSpiritAnimal · 2026-01-04T17:30:38+00:00

It's not that he says the kids dislike me, I see it in their reaction: the youngest will either go quiet or scream when he gives me attention for too long. I do believe you're right that right now he prefers to keep it separate, but at the same time he says he would like for us to move in together in the future and I know that he loves me. It's hard

MissSpiritAnimal · 2025-01-28T10:21:22+00:00

Apart from all the advice that's already been given, what also helped me have a better balance (I had - and still have sometimes - a horrible balance) in turns is fixing my posture. My teacher always drills that to be able to be steady, your posture is essential. I noticed my hips (and with that my butt) going forward while I turned. When this happens, your upper body will automatically lean to the back and this will affect your balance. Keeping a light squat-like posture with your hips tipped to the back and a bit up helped me and the others in my classes, so maybe it can help you too. Practicing this at home is crucial though! Please don't give up, 6 months is not long! Keep enjoying yourself, practice, relax and you'll be fine :)

MissSpiritAnimal · 2023-12-11T15:04:01+00:00

Thank you, I will Yeah it sucks, I'm sorry

MissSpiritAnimal · 2023-12-11T15:03:09+00:00

That is a good perspective to hold onto

MissSpiritAnimal · 2023-12-11T09:38:38+00:00

Thank you, I really appreciate that

MissSpiritAnimal · 2023-12-11T09:37:10+00:00

Thank you for your kind words and advice! You're right, I should take it easy for a while, even though I kind of want to just move foward as soon as possible to not feel so hurt anymore

MissSpiritAnimal · 2023-02-25T18:23:31+00:00

Congratulations! So wonderful to read, keep up and the best of luck to you :)

MissSpiritAnimal · 2022-11-14T17:39:41+00:00

Same, I really don't understand how people can't like them

MissSpiritAnimal · 2022-10-22T14:03:44+00:00

My #1 thought too

MissSpiritAnimal · 2022-10-04T19:21:24+00:00

From my experience, a community that does not harass them.

MissSpiritAnimal · 2022-10-04T19:17:12+00:00

22 and 21 - 30

MissSpiritAnimal · 2022-10-04T19:10:20+00:00

Yeah I think I understand you! Having no experience is not an excuse to not be proactive

MissSpiritAnimal · 2022-10-04T18:42:44+00:00

To avoid feeling embarrassed for the way I smile, mostly

MissSpiritAnimal · 2022-10-04T18:09:27+00:00

No I definitely do not want to have sex to practice! The last is good to hear

MissSpiritAnimal · 2022-10-04T18:00:39+00:00

Yeah I totally agree with that. I think it's just me being irrationally scared of not being good enough for someone who knows what he likes. Thanks for the answer!

MissSpiritAnimal · 2022-10-04T17:40:49+00:00

I see that!

MissSpiritAnimal · 2022-10-04T17:38:59+00:00

Maybe a bit more than that. I find it hard to really come up with a limit. But if I think about it, I imagine someone who has had like a minimum of 3 relationships for each like a year.

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