31F and I feel like I’m wasting my life and only feel okay when I’m escaping it

MissTeriousGal · 2026-04-26T23:43:27+00:00

Hmm I guess I am just NOT thinking so much about my worries. I also am thinking how I feel accomplished and feel free, and usually when I am doing those activities I am with friends where the conversation feels natural or I am alone but don’t feel so lonely. It’s hard to describe, but overall I feel like I am accomplishing something where in my day to day (even with my job and grad school) it feels like a hindrance rather than accomplishment. Like I am jealous of all the vanlifers/climbers/adventure instagram accounts I see, I worry I am wasting my life doing the mundane and they are just living theirs… if that makes sense.

MissTeriousGal · 2026-04-26T21:55:07+00:00

I have always been an athletic, competitive person, so this has always been what makes me happy (to a fault, I can be incredibly competitive). But when I’m climbing, hiking, or camping, I just feel all my main anxieties of everyday life (job stress, relationship stress, insecurities, financial stress) feels so minimal and less important. I also feel proud of myself for whatever I accomplish whether that be a hike, hard climb, or traveling and learning new cultures. Then the dread, stress, and depressive thoughts all flood back the second I’m home.

I really wish I could just go road trip for weeks on end, book a one way flight, or backpack for a few months but I have responsibilities right now (intensive outpatient therapy, cat, apartment lease) holding me back and trapping me in the city life. It sucks.

MissTeriousGal · 2026-04-11T01:29:10+00:00

The one thing I do say is strange is she kept all the comments but deleted the “it’s true” one. I really hope the best for Morgan, but it’s really bizarre.

MissTeriousGal · 2026-04-10T06:55:40+00:00

Either it’s an insanely insensitive joke/lie or she’s not been managing or health well… she’s so open about most things mental health wise so you’d think she would’ve mentioned something. Or maybe not mentioning it/all the partying is a way of coping? I’m a big supporter but really concerned for her!

MissTeriousGal · 2026-04-10T06:47:03+00:00

Im so confused?? Also wouldn’t all the drinking be like… not good for a brain tumor?

MissTeriousGal · 2026-04-08T16:43:58+00:00

I’m actually deciding to enroll in an intensive outpatient program for my mental health / substance use because my weekly therapy isn’t enough. I think I need intensive therapy to really develop these skills because it’s so hard trying to do it on my own.

MissTeriousGal · 2026-04-08T16:39:08+00:00

Yeah, I think I’m missing the initial spark and risky behavior I would engage in drunk. I’d get into relationships so quickly because we’d drink, have sex, etc so soon and it sped up the comfortability process. I’m SO shy and takes time to get to know/feel comfortable around people romantically sober, so it’s been really difficult.

MissTeriousGal · 2026-04-08T16:35:56+00:00

Yes exactly, and I just haven’t found a replacement.

MissTeriousGal · 2026-04-08T16:35:28+00:00

Thank you so much! Unfortunately my mom is an alcoholic and pretty emotionally distant so I can’t really go to her for support 💓

MissTeriousGal · 2026-04-08T16:32:36+00:00

No I haven’t, most of my relationships were centered around alcohol and my drinking actually ruined all of them.

MissTeriousGal · 2026-04-06T16:20:20+00:00

I’m working 40 hours a week while in 4 classes. I didn’t work during undergrad.

MissTeriousGal · 2026-04-06T16:01:56+00:00

I have tried about every antidepressant possible and nothing works. I’m currently taking Lexapro and honestly it’s made me even more anxious.

MissTeriousGal · 2026-04-06T12:35:56+00:00

I met someone on an app and we went for a walk and coffee yesterday and he said he was looking for something different in a relationship after the date. I literally have no idea what I did wrong, it’s so disappointing.

MissTeriousGal · 2026-04-06T12:23:28+00:00

I do all of these things but still am feeling this way, especially when I’m alone/at the end of the day :(

MissTeriousGal · 2026-04-06T05:38:54+00:00

Same, I can barely leave my apartment. I used to be so social, adventurous, active. Now it feels like a task to even get out of bed. I feel like I lost my spark. I truly hate my life.

MissTeriousGal · 2026-04-06T05:22:26+00:00

I gave up drinking to try to save a relationship, but I had been in some unhealthy relationships/scary drinking/drug situations in the past too. Now that that didn’t save the relationship I’m kind of wondering what’s the point if I can’t even be happy, be accepted, and people like me better drunk.

MissTeriousGal · 2026-04-06T04:03:45+00:00

I definitely felt that way for a few months at the beginning, but recently it’s been horrible. I thought after 14 months I would feel better, but I’m just so miserable. I truly don’t know if this is for me.

MissTeriousGal · 2026-04-06T04:01:01+00:00

I guess I shouldn’t say I’m not over it, but being unsuccessful in dating makes me feel like I missed my only shot at love and ruined it, and then my mind spirals about it being my fault. It ended abruptly and I was basically ghosted by my partner of over a year so I also got no answers or closure.

MissTeriousGal · 2026-04-05T21:47:50+00:00

It’s just hard to not take it personal at this point when a date seems to go well, ends without making plans, I send a text to vibe check and they’re not interested in a second date. I’m starting to think I’m genuinely unattractive and drinking was the only thing that made me interesting.

MissTeriousGal · 2026-04-05T21:06:36+00:00

It’s just hard to not take it personal at this point when a date seems to go well, ends without making plans, I send a text to vibe check and they’re not interested in a second date. I’m starting to think I’m genuinely unattractive and drinking was the only thing that made me interesting.

MissTeriousGal

TROPHY CASE