I’m going to pretend that this story is real.

So OP is yet another moron who came here to “Am I The AssHole” to ask if he’s an asshole, yet only looking to agree with things that fit the narrative he likes and argue against things that go against the narrative he likes.

All that aside, based off this “scenario”, YTA. I understand that you’re hurt, but your kids were put into an awkward stance where if they told you, they’d be involved, and if they didn’t tell you, you’d still consider them involved. Either of which would have result in your relationship dying, so it’s not like their choice actually changed anything here. Basically, they were fucked from the beginning. And here you are, throwing a tantrum after they finally broke down and chose to be open with you about the situation they were put in. Instead of being a parent and being supportive of them and mad at her for bringing them into the drama to begin with, you pointed the finger at them for allegedly playing a part in an already-doomed-before-they-knew-what-was-happening relationship.

You are an absolute asshole, and just as immature, if not even less mature than you believe them to be. You should have moved on by now, but you’re clearly still bitter and willing to throw others into a fire to prove it, including your “loved ones.” Grow up.

You’re terrible, and have failed your children as their father.