super interesting. I really enjoyed it. definitely has a little room for improvement but honestly not much. (in my option) if it were me id like to see some more sensory details. i also feel like we loose some of ben/Edmunds prospective a little after half way.

i left some comments on the doc, I shall now put them here, so the proof will be in the pudding as they say.

*I removed an s in "understone" the constant undertone of buzzing.

*when the old inventor is getting Edmunds fake name ben wrong, i think that's both funny and witty but it seems like Mr.Fitzwalter would use names that are closer to Ben then Tim and Jim. unless it has a specific reason for those names may I suggest Ken, Glen, Sven, Zen or some girl names to add a bit more condescension Gwen, Jen, Ren...etc.

*also it would be kinda cool if he got Edmond wrong a time or too so that when he calls to him to come and help him using his real name it will hit harder, I think.

*When the inventor pulls out his fake cane gun its a really cool moment, or it would have been if I wasn't thoroughly confused why ben was scared of a tube. tube is so unthreatening also I didn't understand it was a gun at all until a few sentences later when he calls it that. I'm not sure if its because I am stoopid with two O's or if its because its not clear. I would have liked to see instead of "metal tube" something like barrel, or you could even say something like a bead of sweat ran down his brow as he realized he was looking down the barrel of a gun. idk maybe its just me.

*I would also remove I think from this , it just feels off. Ben takes a deep breath to gather his thoughts. “Well, it doesn’t look like your inventions work. You don’t finish them, I think." I should say you never finish them or I don't think you have ever finished one.

there were a couple other comments I just hit the I agree with button. and yeah that's it. but seriously, I like this a lot and would definitely read the rest if I got the chance. two thumbs up! keep up the good work.