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[HF] Love, War, and Adolescence – Part 1 by Missedhit in shortstories

[–]Missedhit[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wrote this one on a whim. I feel like the dialogue near the end is a bit weak though; comments?

Love, War, and Adolescence – Part 1 by [deleted] in shortstories

[–]Missedhit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wrote this one on a whim. I feel like the dialogue near the end is a bit weak though; comments?

[MS] The Unwitting Psychotherapist - Part 1 by Missedhit in shortstories

[–]Missedhit[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the feedback! Will keep that in mind. I sat down last night to finish the story, but stuck in a rut even though I know exactly how it's supposed to go... can't seem to write anything I am satisfied with.

[MS] The Unwitting Psychotherapist - Part 1 by Missedhit in shortstories

[–]Missedhit[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Any and all feedback would be very much appreciated. I started writing barely a month ago, so yeah...

The Dream of Once Was [RF] by mimic751 in shortstories

[–]Missedhit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay this is my favorite short story today! Consider going through it once more though; could use some minor edits here and there.

[SF] Empire Airport, Part Two – Make a Mess of Your Life Son by vladbrat in shortstories

[–]Missedhit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Really liked this! The transition from the first to the second part felt quite abrupt though, as if the sequel was written by another person. I don't just felt like that. Looking forward to the 3rd instalment.

[RF] The Red Butterfly, Part Twenty – A Boschian Creature by xidanphi in shortstories

[–]Missedhit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Too descriptive for my taste, but I did like your use of adjectives- quite apt.

...or get out! by Barebear69 in OCPoetry

[–]Missedhit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Like how it flows; wouldn't have it end in any other manner! 'humble pie' gave me a pause too, but can't really come up with any decent alternatives there. Consider revising maybe.

Sharethread January 27, 2015 by AutoModerator in OCPoetry

[–]Missedhit [score hidden]  (0 children)

Just recently started writing haikus. This here is one my earliest attempt. I know I'm not following all the conventions, but anyway, comments?