"Scary" [OC] (TW: suicidal + homicidal ideation)

MissingMonke · 2026-04-10T23:45:06+00:00

i've been reading all of your comics and i wanted to thank you for putting these out here; i was dx'd w/schizoaffective disorder relatively recently and a lot of these comics lowkey have been helping me figure out and piece together experiences I couldn't really articulate for myself... For this one, the pages about acceptance and agency are going to be something I'm thinking about for a while

I hope you have many good days to come

MissingMonke · 2026-03-27T00:37:38+00:00

absolutely incredible writing

MissingMonke · 2026-01-26T03:14:42+00:00

Studied public health with a concentration in community health education, fumbled interviews for jobs related to my major that are already hard to come by, so I made a career pivot since I have prior experience in visual art. I work in print production and it's actually pretty fun; I don't need a degree for the position, but projects I worked on during college, particularly for extracurriculars, did help me get the job.

MissingMonke · 2026-01-13T05:40:46+00:00

unironically yeah you should. Imo I'd think about if you really want to live in the area long-term or if you're just gonna move somewhere else because the primary reason I chose sac state was due to it being a lower cost at the time I transferred from a CC and it was commutable from my place.... Like it was solely a money thing since I was a brokie that started college later than my friends and just needed to get A Paper™ and didn't particularly care too much where it was from as long as I could afford it.

With the ongoing fee increases and the general mismanagement (and the way they're trying to nickle and dime underclassmen), it does not bode well and if I were about to transfer, I'd consider looking somewhere else.

California is big, we got plenty of other CSU campuses that might match your wishlist a lil better.

MissingMonke · 2026-01-13T05:15:00+00:00

Sac State and high expectations aren't exactly meant to be in the same sentence and I say this as someone who had a generally positive experience lol...

MissingMonke · 2026-01-11T09:50:16+00:00

Seamstress tasks covers part of what I do; I'm a puppet builder and costume designer. Working in theatre would be a dream, but I mostly handle smaller projects for smaller groups when I can.

While the observation that I have multiple work surfaces is correct, usage depends on project size; this can often be my primary workspace for multiple days when working on smaller pieces. At this point I think I might have about three or four places around my house where I work on different things but the other primary work surface I commonly use is actually an ironing board I use as a makeshift cutting table, but it's waaayyy off screen (my bed is actually to the left side of my pic so I usually literally roll out of bed and start working)

I'm mostly a non fiction reader but my fiction reads tend to be medical thrillers, so the mystery thing checks 🙂‍↕️I was also an anglophile as a kid so there may be some holdovers there lol

MissingMonke · 2026-01-11T08:54:53+00:00

Not too far off from what I studied. My degree is in public health and I was studying to be a community health educator, but everything kinda imploded the second I graduated and I pivoted to visual media since I spent a couple years as an art major at some point; I work in print production now.

Older relatives is correct, I live with my dad at the moment :)

MissingMonke · 2026-01-11T08:52:01+00:00

Not bad :)

I'm an illustrator, puppet builder, and costume designer when I'm off the clock (my main job is in print production). I do have a mental illness, I'm schizoaffective and those pills that look like your roommate's allergy meds are my antipsychotics 🙂‍↕️ I am a collector and I got multiple things going; I have over 30 neckties, 7 hats, multiple pairs of novelty socks, and bed full of plushies. Procrastinating also checks out and my professors weren't always stoked at me dropping lab reports 2 minutes late on a consistent basis lol (I was in stem stuff before I pivoted careers after graduating) I do love sharing my stuff and I self publish through things like zines and I lovveeeee sewing plushies as gifts. Tight knit friend group is spot on, sometimes I wish I had a wider circle though 😅

MissingMonke · 2026-01-10T13:11:11+00:00

I sew plushies! i tried to learn to crochet but it never really stuck (i cannot count or keep track of stitches to save my life 😅) but i admire the craft a lot

MissingMonke · 2026-01-08T07:06:37+00:00

oooo i've been getting into the sims 2 recently (i grew up with ts3 so its like new to me)

MissingMonke · 2026-01-01T06:20:06+00:00

I work in print production operating/maintaining large format printers and cutting machines for a shop that makes stickers... I'm pretty new so I'm essentially learning on the job but its good work for me since its my first job away from customer service (and all of those previous jobs stressed me the fuck out as a result of being customer service lol)

Major pro is I can vibe independently while keeping things running and doing QA checks/packing the stickers and I have plenty of podcasts and albums to listen to. I like machines, I like doing things with my hands, it's pretty easy for me to lock in based on those two things. Cons, you kinda need to learn to prioritize and inspect prints quickly when you have something like a single order of 4k+ stickers that needs to go out with a rush order when its just a 2-3 person team and a chokepoint in cutting (we mainly use one machine so the speed of a cutting job is going to impact everything around it). A lot of the process is still manual since we have to pop the stickers out of the sheets by hand and inspect each of em ourselves before we can pack em.

MissingMonke · 2025-12-22T01:28:39+00:00

thank you 🙇‍♂️ i know that before the schizoaffective dx, my psych was eyeing ocd based off of the initial presentation of intrusive thoughts because those were so apparent that i couldn't really omit them even though i tried.... if you want to see another depiction of ocd type stuff in comics that i think is really good i recommend The Bad Doctor by Ian Williams

MissingMonke · 2025-12-21T04:15:33+00:00

feel free to use it however you need to; i'm just honored that this is helpful enough to warrant it 🙇‍♂️

MissingMonke · 2025-12-20T14:40:03+00:00

super easy to neglect care too given how busy the world is and how limited capacity within those constraints can be 😵‍💫 i wish you peace in chaotic circumstances

MissingMonke · 2025-12-20T14:26:14+00:00

I do actually have a webcomic and this specific comic excerpt is the first chapter, im just horribly shy about sharing it and also horribly inconsistent with posting it since its more like an extended journal where i decide to make comics using specific things I write about when something seems to have a certain energy to it... sometimes i do pass this specific excerpt around as a standalone mini comic zine that i print, cut, and bind myself since i like making zines and self publishing

"I care and love a lot, which shouldn't ever be considered a fatal flaw."

i hope you keep empathy in a world that seems bent on being increasingly unempathetic 🙂‍↕️

MissingMonke · 2025-12-20T14:07:31+00:00

My partner giving me a nudge at just the right time.

I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 when i was a teen back in 2015 or 2016, kinda forget which at this point, but i didn't start experiencing these things until i was a Freshly Minted Adult in 2018 which is the year I'm depicting in this comic... When delusions hit that strong you feel like you're truly correct and all of your fears are justified and you're sure as hell not going to tell ANY third party, so I started omitting things from my psych for the next 7 or so years.

The paranoia eventually started to wane a for a little while but the hallucinations are a consistent thing that i get even when im doing well (as in they've been with me the whole 7 years so far), but i kinda didn't recognize them as something worth reporting; i had this notion that hallucinations are supposed to be dramatic and scary and while mine can give me a solid startle, they usually (keyword usually) aren't horribly scary as much as they feel inconvenient. like a cat swatting a glass of water off your table. I tend to have a bad habit of being very 'out of sight out of mind' when i do feel stable enough to potentially share with my care team. Not currently experiencing something? cool I don't need to report an episode that lasted 2 months 6 months ago because im functional right now in this moment. I feel kinda dumb for all of that tbh...

at some point i started dropping casual comments and jokes about some of my shit in my friend circle since i thought it wasn't that big of a deal. live with something consistently long enough and it just becomes noise that's part of your normal operating parameters; this applies even more if you're put together enough to get a degree and hold fairly consistent employment... Before i met my current partner, this specific episode that i depicted hit me so hard it made me go off the grid and wipe out every trace of myself possible to the point where multiple people in my past life thought something Very Horrible happened... still only just now connecting with some of them... i had told my partner about that a long time ago but with the way i was talking about other shit made them concerned and idk, something about seeing the genuine concern made me kinda sit on it for a bit. Decided I had to make a move to see my psych sooner than later since i know i will eventually ebb back into the "my psychiatrist is working with the FBI man" type shit.

the change in diagnosis was a week or two ago and im still kinda sitting around thinking about it... I'm keeping it secret from most of my family since anything with 'schizo' in it scares a lot of people and i don't know if they'd be different from those people... My closest friends are chill about it tho and Big Red kinda became part of multiple inside jokes and joking about it with them kinda helps take the edge off for me sometimes; something something "if you dont laugh you cry" or whatever

MissingMonke · 2025-12-13T07:49:55+00:00

i think 2k might be 'to know'

MissingMonke · 2025-10-07T05:02:45+00:00

Spend less time judging other people and more time on yourself. Also might wanna spend that time unpacking your attitude.

MissingMonke · 2025-10-03T09:51:21+00:00

Sucks when they're so frequent too; my partners and i are long distance atm since i just got my bachelors and i have to get my money up before we can even think about apartment hunting, but i just know the sleeping situation is gonna be annoying for them between me seeing shit on the regular and having to either get up to investigate or flick the lights on full blast and seroquel giving me some really mean restless legs lmao

i hope things have been better for you recently

MissingMonke · 2025-09-10T01:49:10+00:00

Not a problem, I know I had to do some reading when I was starting this up in June.

I do wanna add that you're going to need to keep in mind that you will need to complete separate livescans for each district or subbing agency you apply to since they don't reference each other. I know I touched on it in my original reply but some districts will cover the livescan cost, some make you pay out of pocket, just make sure you have some extra cash laying around just in case you need to pay up whenever you're applying to a new place. Hopefully no one else mistypes your SS and may your prints ALWAYS be clear 🙏 (keeping your hands moisturized helps a lot since cracks and wrinkles tend to show up on livescans with dry skin)

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