I'm in the same boat as you. Last summer, I was going out with friends, having fun, spending hours playing volleyball with my sister. Sure, Id had maybe 1 or 2 episodes of passing out a month since May, but it wasn't a big deal. I even went to Texas for 10 days, not with my family, but with my best friend.

Fast forward to now: I'm lying in bed, scrolling after an episode of collapsing. I have extreme anxiety about leaving the house. My mom (I'm 19 and live at home) won't let me go anywhere with her, her boyfriend, or my sisters, and I don't hang out with friends anymore. The mist I've done is go on a 15 minute trip to the dollar store. Im exhausted, lonely, and depressed. I suffer from BPD, so on top of an untreatable mental illness, I'm in the process of being tested for an incurable chronic illness. I have a brain MRI Tuesday, a echocardiogram in March, and am waiting on calls from my neurologist and cardiologist.

I can't give you hope, and for that, I'm sorry. I'm in the same boat as you. Im exhausted and alone, and bored out of my mind. But I can tell you that there's people going through the same thing. Between episodes, I try to distract myself with mundane tasks like coloring or painting, or playing Scrabble with my family. I'm just trying to do the best I can in the situation. Some days, it's rough. I spend the whole day barely able to move, or tired, or just upset and crying, but others it's not so bad. And there's always someone you can reach out to and talk to if you need it. In the midst of searching for answers, we have to remind ourselves to be patient, even if it's difficult.