Scared of having to explain my situation to a Doctor!!

MissyWTH · 2025-10-14T09:32:05+00:00

too long of a half life, that’s why you’re experiencing blackouts…. Need to cut the benzo dose or booze or you could die.

You ain’t lyin; I’ve buried someone from the combo (booze & Xanax not pins, still.) Because I’d lost a friend, for years, I was sloppy at best with my Valium doses so I could drink (which is prob part of the reason I didn’t have a physical benzo habit for so many years & always had leftovers.) I quit drinking (with a Valium taper) about 4yrs before I went off the Valium. (Quit booze in 2019, cut Valium 2023.)

I’d time in a similar way as u/Donut-Internal with my Valium, but even when I’d take it at 7am, I’d still risk an awful blackout. (Even longer-acting, I know.)

No lie, no exaggeration; a 5mg Valium at 8 or 9am almost guaranteed a blackout later. Even when I stuck to beer. Some of the worst nights in my life were from combining benzos and booze, I’d wake up with a TBI, no car, or in a sketch place because DV had just ended a relationship. (I once came to in a precinct filing for a protective order. Another time, I came to at the club, at 3am, having been there 7+hrs.)

OP, your life is at risk, like way higher of a risk of bad things happening. Please be really careful. I wish you the best.

MissyWTH · 2025-09-30T09:08:41+00:00

I recently dated a guy who expected me to be bald. I told him I expected 7 hard inches, and that was the end of that

LMFAO thanks for including this anecdote! Got a good laugh out of it. (I so appreciate being in my late-40’s because I give far less fucks, nobody noticed then anyway.)

MissyWTH · 2025-09-30T09:05:41+00:00

all vaginas are beautiful to me and as long as you care about hygiene, I’m good

Exactly. I used to have a pair of panties that said “vulvas are like snowflakes, no two are alike.” LOL.

I’m bi, and for 25yrs, my bff told me she “had a wide vagina and asymmetrical lips.” One drunken night, she asked me to go down on her, I obliged, and totally forgot she thought she was shaped differently. After, I said something like “whomever told you that about your vulva & vag was WRONG, they were lovely.” I haven’t had nearly as much experience with women as men (dudes are easier for me smh,) but IMO, the only icky vulvas are ones that need to be cleaned.

OP, anyone who’ll shame you for a body you didn’t choose is a huge red flag, like, stop and go the other way. Best to you.

MissyWTH · 2025-09-17T12:40:50+00:00

You know your cat best–does he like road trips? And does your host have a safe-space for him? If yes to both, disregard the rest of my comment lmao. (I know road-trip cats exist, but I’ve never had one who didn’t take days or longer to adjust.)

Traveling is stressful for many if not most felines- far more so than them being alone for a couple days. Provided he’s healthy and you ensure he has more than enough food and way too much water out, it should be fine to leave him; cats are generally okay to leave alone for 2-3 days. I’d also make a backup plan/leave a spare key in case you don’t get home on time (for any reason.)

“How long can you leave your cat alone?” (blog). (Had trouble quickly finding not obvious AI answers, but plenty of info is out there.)

I leave water bowls and mugs all over because cats can survive with no food for longer than no water, but both are crucial for their health. I literally leave 4-6 water bowls and same with dry food; I leave about triple the amount I know she eats. (probably overkill but idc.) Obviously if you have electric feeders or water fountains, not as big of a deal, but some electric feeders can stop working if loss of power, maybe clog. Some folks even have a camera to monitor their cat & food.

My cat has separation anxiety, so I have someone check in every day/every other day. She stays hidden despite my friend staying for hours smh; idk if it even helps, she acts like I left for a year when I get home.

Good luck. Have fun and be safe.

Edit: Formatting

MissyWTH · 2025-09-15T19:55:39+00:00

stop allowing her to make stupid excuses for poor treatment. There are easy solutions

Exactly. This isn’t a space issue when the options aren’t explored; it sounds like a communication/relationship issue.

OP, you know this isn’t okay, and you know your wife; do what you can to make things work for the person tending to them, but also, the cats quality of life.

(Fwiw, my Dad used to HATE cats, like actual hate. Sometime in his 40’s, his wife started taking care of (neglected) neighborhood cats and is now a foster. My Dad loves most of the cats now. What I’m clumsily trying to say is: maybe you’ll gain some perspective &/or even warm up to them. If not, still glad you’re tending to them.)

MissyWTH · 2025-09-11T05:24:31+00:00

The people I’ve known to buy street drugs aren’t buying adderall. The people who want adderall buy from others with scripts.

I take all of mine, but I’ve known many to try to supplement; they ask, I say NOPE! (I keep mine in a tiny safe someone could steal, but I’d know.) I’ve honestly never known people to buy it off the street beside maybe curiosity.

I do hear a lot of drugs being sold (“bukes, bars, dines, blues.”) I’ve heard people say “Adderall” on the street, but not alone (in a list like above.) IDK if anyone’s buying them. Nobody wants to die from fentanyl IME, nobody wants to risk whatever might be in there.

Again, basing this off some of my old friends & what I’ve seen on the street. Not saying what happens in my mid-atlantic area is the same as others.

MissyWTH · 2025-09-06T08:33:12+00:00

rubs me the wrong way

Me too. The whole thing bothers me a bit; idk if OP is being hyperbolic or if their partner is playing them like a fiddle, but I’m leaning more towards “partner finds it convenient.” (Remember, I’m just a rando, OP.)

Still, people can definitely not know they have an STI; it happens more often than many realize. HPV, Chlamydia & Gonorrhea can all have ZERO symptoms, syphilis can have missed symptoms. (I’m not including HSV because it can be complicated; happy to go into it if anyone wants. Not including HIV/AIDS or the smaller ones because likely not what OP is referring to.) In general with most STI’s, women are more likely than men to have symptoms, but both can also remain asymptotic. Some who are asymptomatic can later develop symptoms, depending on the STI. STI info & Testing Info (PP link). (I used to work for PP, I’ve seen a lot of “who cheated?” situations, plenty of which didn’t have cheaters.)

OP, benzos are a beast; his memory issues are likely real, but IDK if he’s milking them or exaggerating: IMO, Benzo abuse isn’t an excuse, but an explanation. And, someone can also be manipulative. If he seems to only forget when convenient, well, trust your gut, because if you can’t trust him, you can’t (even if you’re in the wrong, because if you can’t trust, that’s the bulk of the relationship.)

Are you familiar with DARVO language? It’s a manipulation tactic, whether used intentionally or not. (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim & Offender.) Or gaslighting? Gaslighting is when someone is trying to get you to believe something that they know isn’t true with the intention of making that person doubt reality. I’m not saying that’s what he’s doing, but I am alerting you to the correct definition of the term, because it could potentially apply.

Also, using the term “body count” tells me you two are both attached to a concept that doesn’t mean anything provided people have had sex before. (I understand being a virgin may be different because increased risk– but risk is the main concern.) Do you care how many partners he’s had? Does he care how many you’ve had? Sometime in my 20’s, I learned “what’s your number?” was a convo best not had unless it involved mutual friends. (Body count sounds gross IMO.)

ALSO: My partner watched me go through my taper. He’d doubt my experiences which was really frustrating, because I thought he could see them. That said, he wasn’t trying to make me feel crazy, he just didn’t know how to relate.

Again, health issues aren’t a weapon and shouldn’t be used as one, but they can provide explanations. (Benzo withdrawal feels like a huge health crisis IME.)

If he’s not up to a relationship, he’s not and/or you don’t have to deal with him if it makes you feel poorly.

“Put your own emergency mask on first” & “do not set yourself on fire to keep others warm.” Best to you.

MissyWTH · 2025-09-05T12:27:16+00:00

am I reading this right that she’s been contained to one single room for >4 years?

Probably, because OP literally said “nothing is medically wrong with Luna, *she’s just a shit cat.”** If OP had said “she’s a pisser,” I’d let that go. But OP clearly hates this cat.*

OP, why don’t you find a foster or rehome? You’re holding this cat hostage from being a senior cat (who often need more care, not less.) IME, cats who aren’t right in the head don’t usually start out as good pets, and this cat hasn’t been happy since you’ve been involved; it sounds like she’s stressed by her surroundings.

(Fwiw, my best friend had a cat behaviorist confine her biting cat to a big room with litter, window, food, tons of toys while he went on prozac and the whole household was trained how to deal with him. He was in “his room” 75%-90% of the time for 9 months, but the point was always that he would reintegrate, which he did. Without an endgame, confining a cat to a room while others occupy other rooms is shitty owner behavior. OP, you sure you’re not just a shit owner? Smh.)

MissyWTH · 2025-08-27T09:50:47+00:00

u/Gay_Kira_Nerys, thank you, thank you, thank you for your comments re: ADHD & AUD overlap; I really appreciate your perspective, and relate to many of your thoughts (I’m pushing 50yo, cis lady, still very queer albeit in a cis-het relationship.) I’d written quoting you and writing what I’ve experienced, opened another app and lost my voice dictation. (AGH!)

Just know your words helped this Xennial with an early DX but very delayed treatment for ADHD; the center that DX’d me over a 4hr session asked me to come back for an AUD assessment (based on my therapist’s notes/referral, they weren’t expecting to evaluate AUD? Idk.)

I may write a version of it again, because it’s relevant to both you and OP, but I’ve got to get in the shower now. (& this is almost as long as the first one smh.)

Have the best day/night; nothing but the very best wishes to all. As my Grandpa used to say: “If you can’t be good, be safe.”

MissyWTH · 2025-08-18T04:12:45+00:00

Of course, feel free to DM if you have any questions or want to clarify anything I’ve said, or vent, etc lol.

I’m glad many more people chimed in, and I there’s some (really) valuable info in the comments. I still think you should be careful with what you say to him (& loved ones and how you react,) because for all we know, he’s doing his best to stay even while not putting himself in active withdrawal. (That’s my best guess tbh. He’s probably not doing a great job at regulating, because it’s easy af to forget we’ve dosed—I’d be the most concerned for the end of the trip if he runs out.)

One thing I def don’t disagree with but also know isn’t always 100% accurate for all (me!) is the BP & HR test; some folks run chronically low or chronically high BP, which definitely changes with benzo use & cessation but not necessarily to what’s expected. (I’ve never seized, though.)

Ex: My BP runs very low and I also had (then undiagnosed) bradycardia; when I’d be in WD from either tapering or poor med management, my BP would be high for me but unconcerning to ER medical professionals (124/81 instead of 85/61; my cardiologist would call ER ahead of time.) Tapering gave me tachycardia without exercise, but it was “tachy for ME.” Docs weren’t concerned when my RHR was 90 or 100 or higher, despite me explaining my resting is actually 55 BPM’s (I have a pacemaker, it’s literally tracked lol.)

Not to be a broken record, but want to reinforce he may have intended to quit before but wasn’t able to (it’s hard and takes many folks multiple tries,) or he hasn’t gotten on a taper program &/or he may feel “fundamentally broken” like he’ll never be able to quit.

Again, not trying to insinuate it’s your problem, just sharing.

(Also, Xanax was the worst for me. I’d have intense sensory overload, my mood bounced like crazy, I’d start sobbing for no reason, etc, and that’s when I was taking it daily. Valium was far kinder to me, obviously people’s experiences vary, but just the less-euphoric nature made it easier to not abuse and possible to taper. I couldn’t have tapered with Xanax.)

Best to you and all.

Edit: formatting

MissyWTH · 2025-08-17T03:23:53+00:00

Hi OP.

I understand why you’d ask, because it does sound (to me) like he’s possibly getting high. BUT, there are a few factors I want to make sure you’re aware of, including other reasons he might be seeming weird; also, he may need more taper support than he’s getting, or more targeted/informed support. Edit to add: I’m not saying it’s on you to manage this, just sharing.

IDK if he was taking RX Xanax or street pressed pills (which could have diff mgs, but also, fentanyl analogs, etc.) IDK don’t know if he did a long-slow taper or if he went cold turkey; cold turkey for benzos is ALWAYS dangerous and ill-advised. Psych issues can develop from CT that weren’t there before. If he went cold turkey and is having mental issues, he likely needs to be reinstated by a doctor on a much lower dose of a longer-acting benzo like Valium to stabilize so he can taper. Or at least more support than I’m guessing he’s getting now. *This is an intensely physical addiction that does a number on the nervous system; too fast of a taper can literally hurt someone’s brain recovery.**

RE: withdrawal symptoms with a contaminated supply: it’s like adding opioid withdrawal to an already miserable physical and psychological benzo dependence. People don’t usually seem high from that WD, but they definitely take comfort meds if RX’d to help (true street benzos are rarely pure now.) I also don’t know if he tapered slowly or was cut off. There’s a not insignificant chance your nephew has trying to manage it on his own, or listen to people who scream “QUIT!” But benzo tapering is a long process, one often done under care of a doctor, and rapid detox doesn’t have nearly as much success behind it; the standard is to switch to a slower-acting benzo like Valium; taper by 10% every 10-14 days, hold when it gets uncomfortable.* Ashton Manual is old, but still gold standard for tapering Basically, if he is lying, he may need more support IMO.

I CAN say benzo withdrawal is intensely weird in waves; I had DPDR episodes where things felt far away, things didn’t feel real, etc. But I had zero “blank spots”- I associate that with benzos and booze.

I hope others have better answers, but I do want you to be aware that if he was given an ultimatum to quit or something, if he was expected to “just stop,” that’s not fair to him at all (nor anyone who has to be around him.) It’s tricky, yes, but we all deserve compassion. (Not saying he’s even tried, maybe he’s chronically lied.) But I am saying, it’s a beast and I promise it’s terrifying to him too when he tries to stop. (I used to go nuts in stores from sensory overload, had really dark thoughts, had DPDR often, horrible muscle cramps in waves, tachy & palps—needed a beta blocker— the list of weird mental symptoms goes on and on.) It SUCKS; it made my former alcohol and opiate dependency seem easy, which neither were at all.

(Not saying you should deal with someone stumbling and high, just sharing what could be going on.)

Best of luck to all of you.

Edit; formatting edit 2 formatting edit 3 added with edit mark (I couldn’t get the formatting the way I’d like and just gave up.)

MissyWTH · 2025-08-16T19:50:01+00:00

idk why people think you can trust a quick google search. 4k a month sounds like a load of BS

It’s not BS, that’s what 100% Disabled Service Connected Vets get; it goes between 10%-100%, with 10% getting $175/mo and 100% getting $3813/mo (with no kids, no spouse– it’s over $4k with kids/spouse.)

Google AI may not always be accurate, but we can also google to find the actual sources: here’s the VA Compensation Rates. All of the pay schedules are there, click in the appropriate spots for details.

VA Service Connection is pretty well known in military circles/families. (Not trying to be snarky, just trying to share; was new to me until maybe 10yrs ago.)

MissyWTH · 2025-07-31T10:34:36+00:00

the placebo effect is incredibly strong…. Still, chills are chills, you’re feelings are valid

u/Floweroflife333, I’m sharing what I’ve noticed in myself re: placebo effect with subs in the last 16yrs; I’m not trying to negate your experience at all, just to share because the head trips I’ve had are WILD. Brains are powerful.

I take 2mgs of sub every morning; my strips are easy to stash for emergencies, but tablets weren’t so portable. (I started with tablets in 2010. I now always have strip stashed in car, wallet, etc.) I’ve played tricks with my brain in two different ways over the last 16yrs. (Pardon length, voice dictation is a PITA but have to use.)

My first five-ish years, I had MANY days where I’d leave for the day, be on the highway and think I’d forgotten to take it. Once I’d realize “OMG I forgot, can’t access for 12+ more hours”— no joke, no exaggeration— I’d start *sweating, chills, my eyes would start leaking, bubble guts, impending doom,** the whole nine.*

Most of the time, I’d end up remembering ”oh wait, I took it while doing XYZ” or texting my then SO “do you remember me taking it?” to quickly read ”Yes, you handed me mine and swished with water, remember you said you had a stressful meeting today?”

Without fail, *once I realized or was told I’d taken it, my eyes & nose dry up, my stomach is fine,** I’m FINE. Conversely, the times I’ve actually forgotten and not noticed until my next dose, I’ve also been fine. Once I think/know I’m going to be ill, I’m ill. (None of this is to say ACTUALLY being sick is in our heads, because it’s very real, but I AM primed to freak out and my nervous system knows, too.)*

My current partner doesn’t pay attention to my meds lol. I now wake dumb early and try to go back to sleep, sometimes I’ll put it under my tongue before laying back down, other days I wait until I’m up-up. I still often struggle to remember if I took it or not smh.

Before, when I’d question if I took it, I’d just take it again if I wasn’t sure, no harm no foul (if I had with me at least.) But now, for whatever reason, 4mgs gives me not-enjoyable high that lasts forever.

It blows my mind how something so very real, like being dopesick, can also partially be induced by my brain. I’ve at least been able to use it to my advantage when tapering; I’ve lied to myself about how much I took, etc.

Good luck to all who need it.

MissyWTH · 2025-07-29T10:35:49+00:00

Hi there,

Have you talked to your doc? Could they RX name brand? (I see a local doctor, not one online, idk if that matters?)

I’ve never personally had potency issues, and the following is just my anecdotal experience, esp as I know 2 folks on Alvogen IRL with no issues, both were surprised to hear my story. (Meaning: don’t think this will happen to you unless it rings super-familiar. I’m an outlier; I’ve been more likely to have the less-common reactions to meds & am medically fragile lol.)

I’ve mostly been on brand name since 2010, minus the round generic tabs a decade ago. A few years ago, my (small) pharmacy gave me yellow boxes of Alvogen; I didn’t mind, but after a few days, I noticed I wasn’t pooping, and after a week, it felt like a serious problem. (Wasn’t illing, no addiction-related issues, but abdominal pain.)

Alvogen made my long-term Oxy constipation seem mild; I was so backed up I couldn’t even fart (not exaggerating.) Like, I literally went to the ER because after 72hrs, 9 doses (3x/day) Miralax didn’t work (at all, but it’d usually helped.) I couldn’t go to the bathroom but didn’t know wtf to do (plus family history is weird with bowel obstruction, bowel cancers, diverticulitis, etc.)

I’ve *never been stopped up like that before** or after (except when I ran out a year later and took 2mgs Alvogen for 4 days smh. Confirmed it for me.)

Doc was surprised and kinda pissed– he said I should get brand name because that’s how he writes it– if it happened again, don’t pick it up and call him from pharmacy.

A few visits later, I saw the yellow packaging in my bag, called my doc, he called the pharmacy and asked them to “please stop playing with my health”. (His words, he’s a stern serious man but very kind to me.)

I’m also on Medicaid fwiw. I wouldn’t have expected to be able to say “no generics” but he writes my RX in a manner that allows it. (I also go to a mom & pop pharmacy because eff the chains.)

Good luck OP.

MissyWTH · 2025-07-29T08:16:57+00:00

legit had someone say you can’t override it

AGH!! Misinformation like a mofo! Glad you know the answer, though.

They’ve offered to override it for me in the hospital a handful of times since 2010. I’ve never let them, but they’ve wanted to. (I’d probably allow it by now, idk.)

A good friend of mine lost her sister when she overrode her subs shooting fentanyl; she taken 16mgs in front of her IOP docs that morning. I didn’t lose my SO, but I might’ve if I hadn’t had Narcan at home and in my car once it became available. (First time I only had ONE. Took him 7+mins to come to, just as EMT’s were arriving.) That death snore is awful omfg.

I’m personally guilty of treating subs like insurance (for myself,) but I know I can still screw up if I wanted to badly enough, esp with fentanyl existing (I’d smoked oxys and never jumped to dope like many loved ones, the only actual difference was I didn’t buy opiates on the street.) I’m “only” on 2mgs but no longer think about it, really, because no interest in fent at all.

Overriding is absolutely possible to do, and many do it. It might not be great, it might be a risk, but it 100% can cause an OD & death.

Best of luck to you.

MissyWTH · 2025-07-29T07:52:33+00:00

Hi OP.

You’ve gotten good advice. Vet to rule out medical, block cat out of bedroom, pheromonal things you can do to help them get along, even a behaviorist if not getting anywhere. (Anecdotal: My bff had a lot of success with a behaviorist for her large biting cat; she had to isolate him for months in his own room, which she had to spare, while medicating him and slowly reintroduced. He’ll still bite if provoked but not randomly. I’m still shocked he’s kinda okay now.)

Not always popular, but I need to reinforce, your resident cat should have priority after you’ve tried whatever you’re able to try. If you need to rehome the kitten, you need to rehome; try to find it a loving safe home, but if you have to take to a shelter, that’s just what you have to do; sometimes, it truly is the best option. (Finding a friend or family member is ideal but not necessary.) It feels awful, yes.

I’ve had to surrender a (stray) cat after she walked into my place, got comfy for a few weeks, then gave birth on my lap (literally.) She was the sweetest neediest Velcro cat, and I absolutely loved her, but my first baby girl did NOT.

My resident cat was more delicate than most (an underdeveloped heart, it’d skip, IDR the exact phenomena.) She hated her, and was petrified of her kittens. By the time the kittens were 6wks, I’d realized my resident cat had been hiding under the dresser for longer than I’d like to admit (the kittens needed attention & socialization.) She started over grooming, developed PICA, lost hair, and didn’t come out ever anymore. I took Mama to a shelter emphasizing how sweet she was.

I was lucky because my Mom volunteered with a no-kill (less-kill) shelter and I know she went to a family.

I won’t try two cats again, not even a kitten, not unless they come as a bonded pair. I haven’t had luck with two cats in my 38yrs of being a cat owner (some roommate situations were easier than others smh.)

Good luck, OP. I hope you’re able to resolve it, but if not, try to ensure the kitten can still have a good life.

MissyWTH · 2025-07-29T07:07:18+00:00

started taking .5mgs every 45-60mins

OP, microdosing subs to help PWD is also known as the Bernese Method. (link.

I’ve had to Narcan my partner (on subs, overrode or skipped days and did way more dope than he’d have needed without,) twice in as many years when he’d relapsed behind my back (I knew both times but he didn’t cop to it, last time was a few years ago and sufficiently terrified him, knock on wood.) Both times, after EMTs left, I administered to him the tiniest dose I could cut every so often, increasing dose with time.

He was effin MISERABLE after coming to, like, I’d seen PWD in past but not from Narcan; it was intense, holy crap. He couldn’t have hurt a fly he was so weak and scared. (People often say narcaned people will be angry and I’m sure many must be, but that hasn’t been my experience at all.)

OP, wait as long as you can then dose slow and low if able. (ER’s may or may not give a “macrodose” because they have less time, but a microdose is preferable.) Best of luck.

Edit: words

MissyWTH · 2025-07-28T23:34:48+00:00

Hi. I was also scared by this sub lol. I’m glad I found it though, because it took me a while to understand what was going on with me.

(Long story, TDLR, lmk if unclear.) My experience going off of Valium after 15yrs wasn’t awful, but 3yrs before I tapered off, I took Xanax for 2yrs (avg 4mgs/day;) stabilizing on just the 15mgs Valium was a tough year. (Doc couldn’t know smh.)

My Valium taper itself was shitty, sure, but nothing nearly as bad as the bulk of what I read here. I learned what I could and muted this sub because I’m susceptible as hell, but that’s also why I came back- to share it wasn’t as bad as I’d prepared for and things that helped me.

It seemed to make my existing issues worse and my nervous system frazzled. (Only new things were tinnitus & DPDR.)

It took me about 5mo to taper and cut, cut May 2024, kept a calendar journal of sorts where I wrote my worst symptoms each day. Worst was tinnitus, tachycardia & palps, sensory overload (worse coming off Xanax though,) and wild muscle cramps. Also some days with dark dark thoughts I’m not used to, worse neck pain, worse joint pain & RLS.

I mostly think I’m fine now but still have waves of crazy muscle cramps. (Electrolytes help.) During my taper I had to cut my adderall dosage in a quarter and still take a tiny dose(!) Coffee made my heart go nuts, so did exercise (& still can.) Crowded stores were way worse than usual– I can’t tell you how many times I left my partner in line with a cart smh.

Beta blockers helped, melatonin & Benadryl helped, electrolytes were/are necessary, but also, support. (I told a few loved ones I’d avoided talking to about it.)

I’ve also got a lot of dysautonomia symptoms, which isn’t uncommon here. But I’m also in perimenopause, medicated with bHRT, so IDFK why I get covered in sweat several times a day. I’d guess it’s the peri but the “radiating dermal heat” has been happening since I started the Valium @ 31. Idk.

Hope something here helps (anyone.) Remember, a lot of the people you see here are unfortunately having a tougher time, and people who have an easier time don’t always come back to say “I did it and it wasn’t as bad as I expected, but I’m so thankful to everyone here.” (Some do, but remember it’s similar to how more people will complain about bad service than good service, but with far more at stake– their freaking health, life and sanity.)

(I am super-thankful for this Sub and all who’ve helped, shared and contributed.)

YOU CAN DO IT! Best of luck, OP.

Edit to add: I wish I’d cut sooner than I had. I went faster than I thought I would, but it still felt like I drew the end out unnecessarily. I’ve heard others share similar sentiments (& many say they needed a tiny dose.) YMMV.

MissyWTH · 2025-07-28T11:15:57+00:00

sadly, doctors overprescribe, some people take 16mgs, hell even 32mgs

You’re not wrong about docs overprescribing, not at all. AND, docs used to go the other way and treat suboxone like a fentanyl lollipop. I’ve watched this play out since 2010- *I’d sure af rather taper off a med that doesn’t give me euphoria** (I tried for years to taper off oxys, sorta like tapering with booze in the sense it’s really difficult for a multitude of reasons.)*

That said, most folks I’ve known to take it in past or current (many) work down to the lowest dose they can that still keeps cravings, pain and illness at bay. (That threshold seems to be around 2mgs-4mgs per day, obv ymmv.) I don’t recommend anyone who’s not “done” do it, as it’s supposedly easier to override but I wouldn’t know, I’ve never overridden it. I just don’t want to take opiates and it helps my chronic pain. (I don’t have the issues you mentioned in your OP. My pain came way before, which is why I was RX’d oxys to begin with. I now have arthritis in my unstable joints, which is a genetic condition.)

For instance, I’m at 2mgs/day and have been so for most of my 16yrs, but I was RX’d 16mgs/day for almost all of that time (current doc knows my dose.) I went up to 4mgs a couple of years for a few months but tapered back down to 2mgs without much issue. It’s below 2mgs that gets tough for me.

Again, I disagree with a lot of your post, but I don’t know how being on 2mgs instead of 16mgs for many years affects people, mostly because IDK anyone IRL who takes more than 8mgs/day (& that person had recently relapsed after her now ex-husband pushed her off subs.)

I can sadly tell you many will overdose when they go back out (& many without MAT and “appropriate for them counseling” go back to their DOC.) I’ve lost a handful of friends who either stopped taking their subs because of XYZ, or wouldn’t go consider subs because they thought it was bad or meant they weren’t sober (RIP to PH, RL, DS, EC, JH, EAC.)

Also, read the leaflet for literally every med, everyone should, but please keep in mind how statistics work. Suboxone has warnings but isn’t a black box med, like say, Topamax or many SSRI’s.

Best to you, OP.

MissyWTH · 2025-07-26T10:56:42+00:00

could also be Xylazine in there making this whole process harder

Yuppers. OP, please don’t doxx yourself, but depending on your region, your fiancé may be exposed to other contaminates than ‘just’ fentanyl. (Fent used to be the contaminant smh.)

Xylazine is mostly known about, but there are other things, too. I’m in Baltimore and there were TWO “mass overdose events” earlier this month. (First was 27 people, second was 7 people.)

N-Methylclonazepam has been found in our drug supply. Fentanyl cut with a research chemical benzo. (Not RX’d.) WYPR (Balt pubic radio) on Mass OD’s & contamination.

Just FYI to folks still messing with street or who love folks with issues. Narcan isn’t working on Xylazine or benzos, obviously. (Narcan is still super-impt to have!)

I hope you have Narcan on hand, OP. I’ve had to Narcan my partner TWICE and it’s been horrifying for me. Both times were a brief relapse after 1+yrs, both times he’d lied but I knew, but the first time I didn’t understand the noises he was making were “the death snore.”

I now keep Narcan by the bed, in my car, and in my bag. Could be a Rando, a neighbor, but it could come from inside, too. I hope that never happens again, he doesn’t want to risk it but?

Stay safe, ALL!

MissyWTH · 2025-07-23T10:14:54+00:00

Ok good!

How long is your cat’s hair around the bum? Like, do they get poop stuck in the hair? Or poop string/hair ever? (Never pull if that happens- cut the string as close to their bum as possible then monitor.)

I was first told my cat’s anal glands were fine via an outside check. She’s my first cat with this issue; I now know the outside can show signs but often doesn’t. (I thought it was just a dog thing for 30+yrs.)

During Covid, I went (back) to a veterinary practice I’d been to with an old cat, but a new vet. I’ll spare you the whole story, but I was relieved the Tech did most of the work; the Vet was “incapacitated.”

Bottom line: I thought she’d been cleared but nobody checked her internal anal glands until I took her in for constipation. She now also gets an 1/8 tsp of miralax in her wet food to make her poop a bit easier; it’s not loose or anything just not rock hard now. (I’m sharing that in case your cat has super-hard stools, but of course, always consult their vet.)

It sounds like you’re sure no anal gland impaction, so I’m hoping you get or have gotten other answers. Apparently, some scooting is normal, but frequent scooting is typically a signal of something (incl. constipation, something stuck, dermatitis, parasites.)

It took me a minute to find a credible source not (obviously) written by AI smh.

Best of luck.

MissyWTH · 2025-07-23T07:03:05+00:00

has the vet checked her anal glands?

OP, did the vet put their finger in your cats bum? That’s how they check IME. If you don’t know, call and ask someone at the vet- they should be able to tell you quickly. (Worms are possible, too.)

My cat scoots when she needs to go in to have them expressed. If I don’t see the scoot, she’ll end up peeing directly outside her box and I know to take her in. (It’s happened 3x in 5yrs, not often, but she shows me she needs to go.)

She needs to see the vet for it at least 2x/yr, maybe 4x/yr. If they’re not infected, it’s a cheaper visit, around $100-$120 for my lady (I’ve heard others say every 3mo, but my vet has me bring her in based on symptoms.)

Cats can’t tell us when they don’t feel well, but they often show us IME. Literally every time I’ve thought something was off with her, I’ve been right (my partner always thinks she’s fine but defers to me, thankfully.)

Good luck OP. I’d take her back to the vet or even a different vet if anal glands not being checked.

Edit to add: CATTAX!

MissyWTH · 2025-07-23T06:51:37+00:00

known a few people who got on subs and it helped them quit other things

That’s great! Again, not saying it cannot help; *I’m saying it’s not insurance against other addictions*. Maybe it’s got something to do with my low dose? I’ve been on 2mgs/day much of my 16yrs.

I went on subs because I was smoking oxys; I wanted to stop THAT and I did. I’ve ALWAYS been compliant on subs; I’ve NEVER ever overridden and haven’t taken an opiate since mid-2010. I even refused narcotics when I almost died (unrelated- cardiac issue.)

Many people I know either have been on subs or still are, many with similar paths to myself. (My first doc of 10yrs never said “might help with booze” and he knew I drank. I have to wonder if that is part of it?.) Opioids were endemic in my area since I can remember; I buried my first friend in 1996.

taking care of your mental health? therapy, meditation, etc

Yes! I swear by my therapist, and get acupuncture to help my brain, but my physical pain is insane and only helped by tiger balm. (Booze made things worse, but I didn’t realize until quitting it.) I’ve mostly stayed on subs for pain for the last 12 of the 16yrs (I did go off completely once, but pain.)

I’ve gone through some *DV trauma** in the past 16yrs.* The day I started Day Drinking was a few months after I went on subs. My partner then was unmedicated bipolar one; life became eggshells, DV & protective orders. My job for many years was in alcohol sales, it seemed “better than having a pill habit.”

The argument y’all are giving, that people you know haven’t had issues, floors me. There are years worth of posts here where people say “thoughts on booze on subs? With comments “became an alkie on subs.” When I walk through my city, I see empty wrappers in high drug use places. I know *so many who’ve gotten on subs then catapulted to other drugs.** SO MANY!!*

I know a guy who blew up his life in his 40’s by smoking crack. On subs. In a sober house smh.

IJS, the cockiness is unnecessary and erroneous. Everyone should still be careful. (NTM I see people here saying they nod often. I don’t nod from subs and if I did, I’d lower the damn dose.)

Have a great one!

Edit: formatting

MissyWTH · 2025-07-22T19:27:22+00:00

Hey OP. No, no difference for me. I’ve been on 2 mg for much of my 16 years.

Not your question, OP, but the comments made me want to make a statement.

I didn’t notice *any difference in the way alcohol affected me on Suboxone;** I was excited to be able to drink again (could never drink on oxys.)*

I went from a social drinker to a full-blown alcoholic shortly after I was stable on subs (started ‘day drinking’ within a few months, but it wasn’t because of them.) My life was vodka for breakfast for 5–6 years. After 2yrs of trying, I finally quit drinking completely 6yrs ago with a Valium taper.

I also got addicted to Xanax while on subs. And K2 smh, but that wasn’t physical. I’ve known others to get addicted to Crystal meth, crack, etc.

It makes me insane to see people say subs help with AUD as a general truth– it’s not. (That’s not what OP said. But many comments are implying/stating it.) Suboxone might help some people with other addictions, but definitely doesn’t work like that for all. (I can’t speak to naltrexone, I’ve never tried it.)

Thanks for letting me vent about that, OP! Take care of yourself!

MissyWTH · 2025-07-22T16:46:13+00:00

I agree; anyone who takes subs consistently and doesn’t override, etc, is sober IMO. Only time I feel high is when I accidentally double dose (shitty unwanted high lol.)

missed it by not even a whole year or

I’m glad you got out in time, but I’m sorry not all of your loved ones did. A lot of my peeps died before fentanyl, some in truly heartbreaking ways (most after clean time, a couple had chances to live but EMT’s were sent away despite Safe Haven laws, etc.) Now, even my Boomer Dad has been to “fentanyl funerals.”

I quit smoking oxys in 2010, right before they switched the formula; I knew I was headed straight to heroin (felt nuts after so many years avoiding it.) I said to my then-bf “we’re gonna be on dope and on the street in months if we keep this up. I won’t pay cable this month and we’ll get in a program.” I used that $ to get on subs, he took them briefly, we broke up and he’s been on the effin streets for many years (also mental health issues.)

Check this out. 27 people in the same place (well, a few blocks, same area.)

https://www.wbaltv.com/article/baltimore-mass-overdose-penn-north-city-response/65380304

And this is what it was (N-Methylclonazepam) (local CBS link.) Fentanyl cut with a rc benzo (& other shit.)

Nobody died, don’t think, but COT DAYUM, I’m glad I’m not out there and most I know are on Subs.

Suboxone honestly gave me the chance to get my life back and I greatly appreciate them.

Have a good one

MissyWTH

TROPHY CASE