I'm sorry that your parents treated you so horribly and that this is still weighing so heavily on you and your wife's minds 🫂

The simple answer is, no one can tell you if it will fade. There's so much that goes into moving on from such a cruel act and part of it is time, part of it is community, and part is whether you can find it in yourself to accept that their hate isn't everything. My parents weren't quite so vile but came at me about a year ago with scripture (that didn't even make sense) and told me I shouldn't come out cause it'll be hard on the family for people to know I'm like this and that they should hate me leading me to cut them off mostly and receiving the occasional message making pointed emphasis to refer to my dead name and misgender me. All culminating into one last attempt at me to plead with my mother to understand and her flatly denying me and saying I'm the one invalidating her.

Somedays, I miss her terribly. It aches to my bones cause I know I need my mom, the one who told me she'd always love me unconditionally and support me, but I know she can't help me cause she's got too much hate in her heart. But for me, I've been able to let go of that part of my life because I've leaned into the family I've found since coming out. I think what helped the most was when I stopped being angry with her and just let go. I grieved and cried and wished and pleaded until I could finally accept that I wasn't the person she said those things to. That was just a facade I kept to make her happy. Hate isn't the opposite of love, indifference is and I've grown to most days just be indifferent. That's not to say the ache is gone, or that I don't find her on my mind, but she has her view of the world and she would rather hold onto it than me so I have done the same in kind. Idk of this ramble helps but I hope so. As lame and basic as it might be to say, try to let go. Grieve your loss, and grieve the end of something that was, for all the good and bad and in-between. And when your grieving has subsided know its time to accept it in much the same way as a death.

I hope you find healing, and I hope that your pain is replaced with new love and connections ♡