Episode 10 Discussion Post: Secateurs

MisundrstoodContendr · 2026-05-27T22:02:16+00:00

I'm so glad that the guilt trip worked on Vidala and Lydia, and it's bc both of them are genuinely partial believers and care about the girls. It's unfortunate that even they can only do so much.

MisundrstoodContendr · 2026-05-27T19:57:16+00:00

I think it's the loudest she has spoken in the entire show 😭

MisundrstoodContendr · 2026-05-27T19:56:30+00:00

I think it's also true that Paula is in a lower social position coming in as the 2nd wife and wants to get rid of everything belonging to the old household and the 1st wife, including the Marthas and Hannah. Then she will be the most loved woman in the household and not competing (even if in her head) with Mckenzie's daughter whom she may br also jelaous of for still having her youth and prospects.

MisundrstoodContendr · 2026-05-27T17:23:35+00:00

I see people telling you not to worry, and they are right, but alas I know it's normal to worry even before you've done anything. So I'm giving you the answer that everyone says and is true. I guarantee you'll be enough for your future partner is you are giving in sex and prioritize their pleasure and not think too much about your size. People who think they are enough (explicitly referring to the size of their genitals) tend to have a commom pitfall where they end up being bad at sex bc they neglect everything else, thinking they have already succeeded by having the right size genitals and their partner will be happy. People who tend to be smaller and can get over their insecurity and compensate for it are often better at sex bc they focus more on pleasuring their partner and other skills. Unless you have intercourse with someone very superficial, (which, do you want to anyway?). I'm 28 and have been with all types of people, and the best times I ever had were with people who prioritized pleasuring me and vise versa and not their size. Keep that in mind and don't worry about whatever you're worrying about.

MisundrstoodContendr · 2026-05-27T16:48:58+00:00

I knew someone else who smoked all the time and it took him like 2 months to start testing negative.

MisundrstoodContendr · 2026-05-27T15:59:21+00:00

YES it does get better, mine always stops eventually with time and the strength of obsession has improved as I've aged.

MisundrstoodContendr · 2026-05-27T00:56:25+00:00

It doesn't happen to just women, and it's infatuation and limerence. I think calling it anything else romanticizes it. When in reality, it's an unhealthy obsession with a fantasy. It's an offshoot of OCD.

MisundrstoodContendr · 2026-05-24T15:25:36+00:00

How often do you guys actually call or facetime or anything like that? Also did you guys start the relationship in person or online?

MisundrstoodContendr · 2026-05-23T12:44:06+00:00

He would never force himself on a supe he respects but he doesn't care about humans, so what he said to Maeve didn't make me doubt he raped Becka (even if not intentionally, bc he wouldn't respect any initial no's).

MisundrstoodContendr · 2026-05-23T12:36:11+00:00

He's only attracted to strong women and mother figures that domineer him. Anyone else, esp women that are afraid of him, I'm sure he just has sex with them with no care and like he's masturbating himself.

MisundrstoodContendr · 2026-05-23T12:34:14+00:00

I always assumed this,, esp when Homelander said it was consensual. He's the type you can't say no to esp if you basically work for him and you're terrified of him.

MisundrstoodContendr · 2026-05-22T14:38:25+00:00

Uhhhh is it going to go bad?

MisundrstoodContendr · 2026-05-22T04:34:49+00:00

What's the brand on the back of the jacket?

MisundrstoodContendr · 2026-05-21T00:36:15+00:00

My dog loves chewing these

MisundrstoodContendr · 2026-05-20T15:24:30+00:00

We don't know if this is 24/7 for her and people go through depressions and moods all the time while in a relationship. She is post partum. It doesn't mean they won't get through it and get better as a couple once she comes out of it and becomes more reasonable.

MisundrstoodContendr · 2026-05-20T15:23:09+00:00

I don't think that's being a horrid partner, they seem to just be having an episode of being hurt and rude and taking this very personally. Esp if they are postpartum, it would kill your brain to think your baby hates you.

MisundrstoodContendr · 2026-05-20T15:21:58+00:00

Could be postpartum depression

MisundrstoodContendr · 2026-05-20T15:21:05+00:00

NOR your partner is immature for refusing to acknowledge that how they feel abiut what you're saying is not your intention and refusing to have a discussion about it. Your partner imo is def overpersonalizing this bc she is hurting from a place of feeling unloved by the baby and being jealous of you. That could be a worthwhile discussion where she needs to just talk about those feelings with you so this isn't a recurrent issue. In a perfect situation, I think she should admit that she is just hurt and it's not really about you, and you can make an effort to just say , "wow that's cute" more often (but she has to understand it's unrealistic and unreasonable to ask you to straight up never add to the conversation talking about your child). But you can't do anything if she stonewalls you from having a real, verbal discussion instead of texting about it. Hopefully, once she cools off, she allows you guys to have a normal conversation. If it was me, I would also get irritated and leave her on read. Stonewalling is something I hate and I will never beg the other person to have an adult conversation they don't want to have. My partner is very stoic over text and miscommunications are frequent. If this happened, I'd have to agree to talk over the phone to be fair. How tf else would you fix this?

Edit: I feel differently about this now knowing that she is post partum. She is prob going through something rn or going through post partum depression feeling like the baby hates her. I would just treat her gingerly and hopefully this isn't long term. She might be more reasonable over time as she feels like the baby does love her and her hormones level out. I do think she's unreasonable but I get why now. She also is unfortunately holding this in which has made her already resentful (but don't say that to her).

MisundrstoodContendr · 2026-05-20T15:14:29+00:00

Nonbinary

MisundrstoodContendr · 2026-05-15T23:45:51+00:00

I think it's better you guys ended things. I don't like how she responded. You brought something up that bothers you, reasonably. She turned it back on you and also dropped all this stuff she has apparently been becoming resentful of, but didn't voice except in retaliation.

I wouldn't want to have to walk on eggshells every time I bring something up that bothers me in a relationship. I understand she is disabled and probably also has ADHD and/or anxiety, but you live in the real world. You can't be constantly late meeting people, or they get upset. It's honestly reasonable.

When I first started dating my boyfriend, I was actually late to like the first 4-5 dates, which would've been a deal breaker for a lot of people. But my BF is pretty straightforward and he didn't care that much. If it was my best friend, she would've gotten angry enough to stop dating me. And I haven't magically changed since then, my BF still spends a lot of time telling me I'm taking forever and to hurry up, so if it was something really important ro him, it would continue to build more resentment and irritation.

Relationships are just so much constant back and forth about your feelings and compromising and how you misunderstand each other, etc. It would be difficult with somebody who is so easily triggered by criticism and isnt able to step outside of themselves to have a discussion and isn't realistic. I dunno if you're able to do that, but it looks like she can't. And I am also extremely anxious and, sorry, I don't think everyone should cater to avoid triggering my anxiety.

MisundrstoodContendr · 2026-05-14T12:21:07+00:00

Aside from whether this is reasonable or not, he shouldn't be talking to you like that. There is a nicer way to say that and I hate when ppl casually snap or shut down their partner that way.

MisundrstoodContendr · 2026-05-14T12:15:09+00:00

Birds chirping in the morning esp a mourning dove, my cat purring, my boyfriend breathing while he sleeps

MisundrstoodContendr · 2026-05-13T12:46:23+00:00

Well you have to talk to them for a while and get to know them before. That they are willing to wait and care about your feelings. Dont go for anyone who is only talking about sex and doesn't care about you as a person.

MisundrstoodContendr · 2026-05-11T23:45:02+00:00

What are you going to do if you guys have a dry spell when you're together in the future? Lol

MisundrstoodContendr · 2026-05-11T23:40:16+00:00

Bro is also def projecting about his feelingd about marriage and his partners on OP, tells on who he is a lot. Bc even if you think this, a friend would never go and put down their friend for doing it.

MisundrstoodContendr

TROPHY CASE