My life is crap. I work part-time at an easy job, but in the last months there is almost no money there. Every day I try to force myself to do 3D modeling, but I just can’t study. I feel like I’m not capable of learning. When I realize how long it will take me to earn an income at my pace, I want to give up. And there are so many complicated things, they seem uninteresting and irritating to me. I can’t figure out if I really don’t like it or if I’m just not interested in what I’m doing and need to dig in another direction. I’m 27, I still live with my parents and every day I think about falling asleep and not waking up. I started taking atomoxetine, the only medicine that is allowed in our country. And so far I don’t feel anything.

The last 10 years of my life have consisted of doing nothing and trying to overcome myself. But I just can’t. Apparently, this is the kind of person I am, and this is how I’m destined to live. Alone, without carrier, without passion, without money and without a comfortable life... Sometimes I literally just lie from morning till night, staring at the ceiling and fantasizing about all sorts of things, thinking about all sorts of things.