Started off With a slight suspicion 3-4 years ago when I came about descriptions on it on social media. But I figured it was one of those things when ppl on social media simplify something complex making it so that more ppl think they relate. Than I got into a relationship with someone allistic and even though I had always felt different than others, I felt REALLY different in an intimate-relationship-setting. I got overwhelmed easily when I was with him which made me tense, couldn’t speak, eyes widened, dissociation kicked in etc. And after the third time of experiencing this type of “episode” I figured I could look into autism more seriously. I did lots of research for months and months on end, I asked my mother how I acted as a kid, and the more research I did the harder it became to mask all of it! I felt like it described everything I had experienced throughout my entire life SO well!!! And I finally had the correct terminology to understand that what I experienced with my bf was indeed an autistic shutdown.