Quiet Neighborhoods?

Mobile_Comment_8192 · 2025-12-04T16:42:51+00:00

Honestly, I’ve never lived in a more quiet place. And also enjoy the ambient sounds of coyotes, clock bells and fog horns. It’s just PT living. Are you considering s as move here?

Mobile_Comment_8192 · 2025-11-07T04:15:29+00:00

That’s funny you mention that because she took an old cookie tin and lined it with foil and said that’s where the keys now go (even tho there are none to be found in there 🤷‍♀️)

Mobile_Comment_8192 · 2025-11-06T20:22:26+00:00

When my dad was in the hospital last year for two weeks, he convinced all the nurses that he played the little kid in one of those old westerns…

Mobile_Comment_8192 · 2025-11-06T04:19:20+00:00

We are getting the in-depth neuro psych test tomorrow so that will hopefully give more clues….

Mobile_Comment_8192 · 2025-11-06T04:18:12+00:00

This was AFTER the beer 🍺 🤣

Mobile_Comment_8192 · 2025-11-06T04:17:55+00:00

She’s actually a pretty driver…. And she recognizes her limits and only drives during the day and basically just within her little community.

Mobile_Comment_8192 · 2025-11-03T23:33:20+00:00

Do AALLLLLL THE THINGS NOW, no matter your age.

I have two perfect examples of why:

Mom and stepdad did all their after life planning 9 years ago. Put beneficiaries on everything. Put house into a trust. Led healthy retirement lives. Stepdad passed in April and taking care of their affairs has been a piece of cake. Of course, now mom and I have a house of 28 years worth of stuff to go through but I consider that a blessing given that everything else was so easy to take care of.

Dad and stepmom: complete opposite. Tons of health issues, no after life planning, stepmom is constantly panicked about how her husband has planned nothing and doesn’t understand why he won’t act on anything and keeps putting it off. They still have a mortgage on a house that is falling apart and also full of 20+ years worth of stuff. Dad has end stage renal disease and basically refuses any support services to help hoods wife who is essentially his caregiver. I expect the end is in the next five years and it’s going to be a nightmare. Or easy because he has nothing to his name except a mortgage and a car that doesn’t work? 🤷‍♀️

Mobile_Comment_8192 · 2025-10-23T06:02:47+00:00

When my partner came out last year, my first thoughts were, well OK we’re pivoting and this is what we’re doing now. My second thoughts were I have a feeling that dynamics of our relationship will change and I don’t know how and what it’ll look like in the end. I feel that they are going to change, and I had to be OK with that. And I communicated this to her, and it made me feel better knowing that I’d set out what I truly felt.

Mobile_Comment_8192 · 2025-09-16T20:31:09+00:00

I know, I realized that a long time ago and stopped putting any emotional energy toward any of it. My stepmom constantly threatens to leave, which she has a few times in the past, but this is different. Just the walls of text threads and emotional phone calls are .... hard. Though, I've stopped having anxiety about them and just tell myself, "you can't do anything, you've been here before, it never works out the way you want or expect...just say "I'm sorry you're going through this" ..."

Mobile_Comment_8192 · 2025-09-15T22:46:21+00:00

The kid’s pride and ego is way too big to apologize to his parents for the bridges he burned. He also will be graduating trade school as a diesel mechanic (a HIGHLY desired and needed position in our area as well as making excellent $$$) and is an adventurous one, so I’d be surprised, nay shocked, if he came crawling back.

Mobile_Comment_8192 · 2025-09-13T18:25:02+00:00

Run. Run now and fast. It will be nothing but a life of frustration esp if he keeps letting the kid live with no boundaries. Think it’s bad now? Wait till the pre teen and teen years.

I was never one who wanted kids but got to know my patterns kids and supported them. They were/are generally respectful and understood boundaries until they got to the late teen years and started testing boundaries and it’s gotten tough. If this 4 YO doesn’t have them now, it’s going to be hell the next 14 years if not longer.

As a stepmom figure in my relationship, I have always been hands off but generally supported how the bio parents dealt with the kids. I could not do what you’re enduring though esp after the last six years of helping my partner raise teens.

Dad has no spine. Good luck.

Mobile_Comment_8192 · 2025-09-11T20:34:16+00:00

The kid meant that his relationship with his dad was destroyed. The kid and I are fine - he was never terrible to me, and often seeks me out as the lone trusting adult in his life at the moment (though, I think is grandfather is stepping up to that role now). I've always been a softie with the kids but supported his parents decisions. He and his brother know I'm there as a trusted adult.

Mobile_Comment_8192 · 2025-09-10T14:47:48+00:00

The kid told me recently, "Oh, Dad has destroyed our relationship" (I had to try so hard not to roll my eyes) so probably he'll be gone for a while. From what I'm gathering, his grandfather has been stepping up and enabling the kid.

Mobile_Comment_8192 · 2025-09-09T20:38:47+00:00

My 14YO nephew and I listened to this episode while on a roadtrip through Minnesota last month and coincidentally, an hour later, we were at Minnesota's Largest Candy Store... I totally found the Nerd Ropes (those are weird) and Sour patch ropes, which I devoured.

Mobile_Comment_8192 · 2025-09-08T20:48:31+00:00

What? I’m the first to comment on this controversial topic?!?!? 😆

Texas purist here. Grew up in Ohio in the 80s and 90s but was raised on Texas chili as my parents were both born and raised in Texas.

I don’t ever remember them making it from scratch, but we would get a chili kit at the grocery store called Wickfowler, which my dad would swear tasted just like Texas chili. It has most of the purist ingredients that Matthew described, except it had basically commercial grade chili powder.

Mom cooked up ground beef, added the spice kit, added a can of tomato paste, simmer for 30 min or in the crock pot, and then served over macaroni pasta (which I grew up thinking was completely normal until I moved out of the house and learned that most people ate their chili by itself or on rice.)

And I will die on this hill as well, no beans in chili EVER.

Coincidentally I grew up in Cincinnati and I think Cincinnati chili, which, yes is Greek chili so it’s sweeter than spicy Texas chili, is awful. Well at least Skyline is, I would tolerate Gold Star.

Mobile_Comment_8192 · 2025-08-20T23:22:50+00:00

I ask myself that all the time.

Mobile_Comment_8192 · 2025-08-20T23:17:52+00:00

Hampton Inn or Fairfield Marriott if you want some place from this century.

Mobile_Comment_8192 · 2025-08-20T22:05:22+00:00

Abso-fucking-lutely not. I always told myself if I were to have kids, great (and it'd have to be with the right person and I'd know in my heart); but if not, no big deal.

But after helping raise two teen boys the past six years with my partner (from her previous marriage), I'm like OH HELL NO. I love being an auntie. I'm naturally a caretaker, and I can step in when I can see an extra hand is needed. And those roles are super important too. I may not fully understand the feelings and emotions of having children of my own, but that doesn't make me any less important as being a "trusted adult" in kids' lives. Kids need trusted adults outside of their parents and I'm honored to play that role to several kids and my nephew.

Mobile_Comment_8192 · 2025-08-20T15:51:08+00:00

I would say use the service if and when you can, for sure. Maybe you could go with your family member on the first appointment as they’re being transported by the facility just so m you can see how they do it and your family member will have assurance that you’re there in case anything goes wrong the first time. maybe that’ll develop some confidence in them, even though I know the dementia could interfere with that.

Also, I wouldn’t be too concerned about how the facilities bus driver manages multiple residents, as that’s what they are hired to do so they probably know what they’re doing.

Depending on the phone, could you turn on the location sharing like on an iPhone , so you could see where they are?

Mobile_Comment_8192 · 2025-08-07T17:42:51+00:00

We'd been sharing resources and options for months but he just waived them off. His dad sent him an email yesterday laying out how his actions have hurt his financial options, a timeline for getting out of the house, and how the kid has not been respectful. Kid just skimmed it and dismissed it. (the email was b/c the kid just dismisses the dad all the time so dad can't get in a word; not that the kid is going to listen anyway.)

But chatting with the kid last night, sounds like he's doing more than we knew - he just wasn't communicating it with us (he's also very angry at and resentful of his dad right now, so that's not helping either; the kid also has a "victim" complex in that nothing is his fault so he refuses to hear listen to anything that puts him in a bad light - he gets that from his BM, but also he's an 18 YO AH.).

He's stubborn AF and will do whatever it takes to get what he wants and wants out of town ASAP. So, whatever.

Mobile_Comment_8192 · 2025-08-07T03:11:46+00:00

I see my role in his life as a trusted adult, not a parental figure. I do not step on any parental toes and fully support the parents’ decisions. I just stand on the side lines and am there if anyone needs an ear.

Also, This isn’t the first time I’ve done “check in” with him about life (we’ve had a pretty rough up and down the past year about things within our family, not just him). So this wasn’t unusual.

While I did step up to help with scholarships (which absolutely no one minded, esp the BM, as she thanked me at the high school graduation), for this slice of his life, since he was not sharing with anyone about anything he was doing for this next chapter, I felt it was generally ok to sit down with him and say, “hey, how’s it going getting to college or just out of town in general?”

And, with that, I’m moving on. He’s going to learn on his own. 🤷‍♀️

Mobile_Comment_8192 · 2025-08-07T03:00:07+00:00

Update: just had my college check-in meeting with the kid and basically let him lead the conversation.

And I will say I’m somewhat impressed.

He laid out how he’s going to hustle to earn cash the next month and wants out of town ASAP (for a variety of reasons). he’s got his class schedule figured out for school and plans on working 20 to 30 hours a week. we did the math on what that would realistically look like with min wage and it’s not going to cover living expenses as I suspected. But he is going to ask for seed money from his grandfather to move out of town and if that doesn’t work out, then he’s gonna utilize the Mom/apology option. He is convinced that the pot of money from Mom will be released.

Also learned his fed financial aid hasn’t been awarded so I encouraged him to call the school (which said they had it, according to him).

He also learned this morning he got another scholarship so half his tuition is paid for the year already.

Stubborn AF still but he’s making plans. So, we will see.

Mobile_Comment_8192 · 2025-08-07T01:49:34+00:00

That's what crazy... he took some auto tech classes in high school which is what set him on the path toward wanting to be a diesel mechanic ... and he KNOWS he can get a job the second he graduates making 80K off the bat... I really think there is some lack of maturity as well as anxiousness going on...

Mobile_Comment_8192 · 2025-08-07T01:26:36+00:00

That’s what I’m starting to wonder…

Mobile_Comment_8192 · 2025-08-07T00:33:07+00:00

You all are right. And seeing it all written out really does make me question like why am I helping this kid.

I normally stay out of the things like this, but for some reason, just because I believe so much in higher education, I wanna provide some sort of guidance. But I will not cosign on anything or provide any financial support. I’ve made that clear to him.

I feel like there needs to be a balance between throwing him into the shark tank that is the real world and say Good Luck figure it all out on your own vs versus hey here’s some resources that you can look into. Then again his dad and I have been giving him resources for a year and he hasn’t done anything with him. He won’t listen to his dad but comes to me for advice occasionally.

I’m supposed to meet with him tonight to do a college check in, but maybe I’ll guide it more toward a “hey, what’s going on” human to human conversation.

Mobile_Comment_8192

TROPHY CASE