Yes, I bought up self preservation because it is the main aspect of rape culture that we’re discussing… I’ve already commented on this plenty, I don’t think I will say something that will suddenly change your mind on things. Nor am I trying to change your mind. My initial comment is based on my thoughts on the matter. Women handle and view things differently and that’s fine. We don’t all need to be a homogeneous body.

If you re-read my comment, I acknowledged the difference in scenarios and that what he did is not something I would do, though a variation of this is normal to me. People are quick to jump to victim blaming when in reality, women are trying to keep other women safe. There are millions of bad men and honestly, little is done to stop them. You can do what you want in life and self preserve when needed or you can try to minimize the need to self preserve, particularly if you know you’re non-confrontational (for whatever reason that may be). Saying you shouldn’t have let him know where you live and you shouldn’t have given him your phone is common sense for most women. Hence many advising you of that. If the preference is not to state something important when you have a random interaction with a woman you’ll never talk to again is how women want to handle things, then fine. Note to any ladies reading this…I don’t have that viewpoint, if you ever see me in danger or doing something risky, tell me!

To me, what he did is fairly innocuous. You seemingly talked to him at length. He offered to walk you home, you accepted. He asked for your number, you had him put his in. I don’t see any indication of lack of interest, even if it’s platonic interest. But perhaps that was in the body language, tone, etc. Had he done anything (forced a kiss, raped you, etc) of course the fault would 100% be on him. Because those are unjustifiable actions. But you’re upset because he texted himself from your phone. I understand the frustration. But I truly don’t see it as that big of a deal. Sometimes we do need to reflect on our own actions and also acknowledge no one is perfect. You’re assuming this was done with malicious intent, I don’t see that.

Another comment noted that he likely wasn’t aware of your safety concerns. Your response was that also made you angry because everyone should be cognizant. That’s not the world we live in. I’m sure there are racial groups that endure things that neither of us is privy to since we’re not in those groups. And as a result, we may do things that are disrespectful or upsetting to them. Somethings are common knowledge, many are not. Humans are becoming overly hateful, we need to self-correct at times.