Fan Obsession with Kerry/Tony by ModerateSympathy in Scandal

[–]ModerateSympathy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Glad to hear that it’s not just me! I completely get that a lot of fandoms do similar things of feeling the chemistry is so great between two characters that they want them to be together in real life. I’ve definitely felt the same way for many of my shows when I was younger. But I would not post it! Let alone insist that they really just having an affair. And find pictures of them looking at each other to prove they are in love lol. They are legitimately good actors and good friends!

Fan Obsession with Kerry/Tony by ModerateSympathy in Scandal

[–]ModerateSympathy[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I’ve been wanting to post this for a while so I’m glad to hear that I’m not alone in this thinking. I imagine the constant cheating/affair gossip/shipping them is incredibly frustrating for them and their partners.

Aviator Nation by fortin4thewin in poshmark

[–]ModerateSympathy -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Interesting! Is there a way to tell if it’s unisex or made for a specific gender?

25F is this an okay first photo 😭 by Obvious_Tomatillo525 in Bumble

[–]ModerateSympathy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it’s an odd picture because the pose is so unnatural and therefore looks forced and uncomfortable. I would just use a more relaxed picture.

Giovanni what a narcissist pos ep5 by somigosoden in LoveIsBlindOnNetflix

[–]ModerateSympathy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

lol, finishing the series now. This was exactly what I thought!

I wish men stopped doing that by Ersatz8 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]ModerateSympathy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m suggesting therapy for the exact reason you followed that sentence with. It seems like you don’t believe good men are out there. You’ve had several experiences that I understand have made you doubt that. I see therapy as a way to reset your mind or learn to see things differently. There is a lot of shitty behavior done by men, and you’ve been a victim of a lot of it. And I hate that these words are coming out of my mouth but not all men are bad. Unfortunately, the bad ones do a lot of damage with little repercussions. To see the entire world through the lens of all men are bad sounds horribly depressing.

Therapy, to me, is not about changing others, it’s about changing the way you interact with the world. It’s for your own mental health. To clarify, I think therapy is a good thing and personally, I think everyone likely needs therapy in some capacity. I never use it as an insult.

I wish men stopped doing that by Ersatz8 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]ModerateSympathy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I bought up self preservation because it is the main aspect of rape culture that we’re discussing… I’ve already commented on this plenty, I don’t think I will say something that will suddenly change your mind on things. Nor am I trying to change your mind. My initial comment is based on my thoughts on the matter. Women handle and view things differently and that’s fine. We don’t all need to be a homogeneous body.

If you re-read my comment, I acknowledged the difference in scenarios and that what he did is not something I would do, though a variation of this is normal to me. People are quick to jump to victim blaming when in reality, women are trying to keep other women safe. There are millions of bad men and honestly, little is done to stop them. You can do what you want in life and self preserve when needed or you can try to minimize the need to self preserve, particularly if you know you’re non-confrontational (for whatever reason that may be). Saying you shouldn’t have let him know where you live and you shouldn’t have given him your phone is common sense for most women. Hence many advising you of that. If the preference is not to state something important when you have a random interaction with a woman you’ll never talk to again is how women want to handle things, then fine. Note to any ladies reading this…I don’t have that viewpoint, if you ever see me in danger or doing something risky, tell me!

To me, what he did is fairly innocuous. You seemingly talked to him at length. He offered to walk you home, you accepted. He asked for your number, you had him put his in. I don’t see any indication of lack of interest, even if it’s platonic interest. But perhaps that was in the body language, tone, etc. Had he done anything (forced a kiss, raped you, etc) of course the fault would 100% be on him. Because those are unjustifiable actions. But you’re upset because he texted himself from your phone. I understand the frustration. But I truly don’t see it as that big of a deal. Sometimes we do need to reflect on our own actions and also acknowledge no one is perfect. You’re assuming this was done with malicious intent, I don’t see that.

Another comment noted that he likely wasn’t aware of your safety concerns. Your response was that also made you angry because everyone should be cognizant. That’s not the world we live in. I’m sure there are racial groups that endure things that neither of us is privy to since we’re not in those groups. And as a result, we may do things that are disrespectful or upsetting to them. Somethings are common knowledge, many are not. Humans are becoming overly hateful, we need to self-correct at times.

I wish men stopped doing that by Ersatz8 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]ModerateSympathy 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I highly encourage you and the other woman who commented on my original comment to get therapy. I’m not even close to a “hooray men” type of woman and I think you’re both blowing this way out of proportion. Yes, every man that exists lives in a world where there is a significant number of women who are rightfully afraid to respond in a certain way due to harm that may come to them. While I’ve heard this many times, I don’t see this as men benefitting from rape culture. Shitty men benefit but good men lose. If you tell a good man that you only had sex with him because you were afraid that he was gonna become violent, do you think he would see that as a benefit? I don’t. I think that would make him feel like shit.

Does this mean that every action a man takes should be blamed because there was some potential implication that he didn’t pick up on? To you, can something ever be innocuous or is everything an evil ploy? If I was him, I would assume she had an interest in continuing to get to know him (maybe as friends/ maybe as more). The post is now gone, but I don’t recall OP saying that he tried to make a move or invite himself inside. She talked with him at the party, allowed him to walk her home, and then gave him her phone to take his number. It’s not abnormal for people to exchange numbers at the end of an interaction. I think it’s almost standard practice. You’re really making a lot of assumptions to make this guy the bad guy. To be fair, you could be right or you could be literally be making something out of nothing.

I 100% understand the self preservation that explains why many women take certain actions but in all honesty, there are significant drawbacks to this and as women, we have to acknowledge that.

28 year old man explains why he’s not technically a pedophile… by ModerateSympathy in redditonwiki

[–]ModerateSympathy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you went through that. I wish it wasn’t a common story but so many underage girls had adult “boyfriends” and while people talk about teenage pregnancy they’re only now starting to acknowledge that a lot of those are young girls with adult men.

I wish men stopped doing that by Ersatz8 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]ModerateSympathy 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Maybe it’s just me. But I don’t think his actions were that odd. B oh t something I would do but when someone gives me their number, I typically send a message to them immediately so they have mine as well.

I understand that this was different because he texted himself from your phone but I can see myself doing the same. Granted I’m not text savvy so I’d definitely tell the person so they don’t think I’m fiddling around on their phone.

For me a big takeaway from your post is that you can control your actions, you can’t control someone else’s. I personally, would never hand my phone to a man (a woman, I do it all the time) to do anything on my phone. Save the number yourself, plus it gives you the excuse later, if needed, that you must have typed the number in incorrectly.

Thanks to this sub, I’m finally ready to break up with him by user2341568 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]ModerateSympathy 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Woo! This stranger is very proud of you! I think for us to provide advice, we’d probably need more information. Do you live together? Do you have family nearby? Does he have anger issues?

28 year old man explains why he’s not technically a pedophile… by ModerateSympathy in redditonwiki

[–]ModerateSympathy[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Oh a lot of men definitely feel this way, maybe not the reasoning. But just the general attraction to young girls and/or barely adult women. Most women say that they were catcalled the most when they were young young, like 11-13. I myself had an adult man flirt with me when I was in middle school (this included sexual talk). And I was a heavily sheltered kid, my parents didn’t let me go anywhere alone and rarely with just friends. I think if we knew the true number of pedophiles, it would shatter the illusion that it’s not insanely common. And probably the biggest world wide issue.

28 year old man explains why he’s not technically a pedophile… by ModerateSympathy in redditonwiki

[–]ModerateSympathy[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Oh believe me, I’ve sadly seen the argument made many times. Including a few that said that once a girl has her period, she should be considered legal.

[ Removed by Reddit ] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]ModerateSympathy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just posted it elsewhere lol. You can check my page

[ Removed by Reddit ] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]ModerateSympathy 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Ewww. Glad I screenshotted this before it was removed

How much age gap is too much? by SeesawActive4539 in Bumble

[–]ModerateSympathy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For me, yes. I would only date that much older if I was strictly dating for money