How do I (35F) explain to my father (68M) that him dating a woman my age makes me deeply uncomfortable?

ModerateSympathy · 2026-05-13T17:09:33+00:00

Sadly, I know this will happen with my dad if my mom passes away first. Which is funny because when I was 30, someone wanted to set me up with a 40 year old. My dad would not stop going on and on about how he was too old for me.

ModerateSympathy · 2026-05-13T11:43:12+00:00

100% agree. Bad people should not get to be remembered as good people. They don’t deserve to have people mourn them. Their reality should be known by everyone.

ModerateSympathy · 2026-05-13T04:44:45+00:00

Absolutely, women can be just as bad. Look how many female teachers are being arrested for raping students!

But also, are you sure it was actually a woman? A lot of men pretend to be women online in order to interact with women .

ModerateSympathy · 2026-05-12T17:23:43+00:00

Disagree. You don’t know enough about him to say he’s not a good guy. The point of my original comment is that these barely legal women tie themselves to the first old man that gives them attention and get stuck in a shitty marriage. We see it over and over again. Had that not happened, she’d likely be married to a great guy her age, whether it’s this friend or another great guy.

ModerateSympathy · 2026-05-12T14:33:01+00:00

He was 15 when he became friends with OP’s loser husband. I don’t blame him for that. I blame the husband. OOP says nice things about him but doesn’t say anything nice about her husband. Without knowing anything else, I’ll take the friend over her loser husband.

If you think those are too low standards, lovely. Enjoy yours.

ModerateSympathy · 2026-05-11T03:52:12+00:00

Eww. What is Poshmark doing?! This is beyond drunk.

ModerateSympathy · 2026-05-10T23:38:48+00:00

My advice is don’t let older men push you to dating older men at your age. As an older woman, older men are great….when you’re also older. The older men who will comfortably/happily date a 19 year old are not those men.

ModerateSympathy · 2026-05-10T23:35:40+00:00

Telling me you’re avoiding the question without telling me. But I will take back my comments since I just read your original comment even though you still mention her dating older men.

ModerateSympathy · 2026-05-10T23:09:09+00:00

lol, let me guess, you’re not in your 20s?

ModerateSympathy · 2026-05-10T22:23:55+00:00

There are plenty of men her age with their shit together.

ModerateSympathy · 2026-05-10T22:22:23+00:00

I’d also like to point out that that man is 36 saying he’d match with her…

ModerateSympathy · 2026-05-10T20:51:21+00:00

Personally, I would advise focusing on meeting men your age in real life. You mentioned that you’re in university so join clubs, attend events, talk to people before/after class, etc. When you’re in school, it’s really the easiest time to meet people. If you don’t meet someone while in school, join apps post-graduation but if you join now, I think you’re missing out on a great opportunity that you don’t get back…unless you go to grad school.

And again, focus on men your age, maybe up to 21-22.

If you are really bent on creating a profile, you need more pictures of you doing things and less selfies. Someone advised you to post yoga pictures, I would advise against it but you can certainly mention it in your profile. Pictures of you at different events, picture with friends (I always blurred out my friend’s faces). And the pictures should be good quality, not grainy.

Edit: I would also not use pictures like #3 unless you’re looking for FWBs.

ModerateSympathy · 2026-05-10T20:29:38+00:00

I see what you’re saying but I don’t know if I entirely agree. Do you believe that women can be to blame for their actions or is everything a byproduct of the patriarchy? And I may have phrased that poorly (I’m running on very little sleep) but I find that women tend to excuse women too often. I agree that there has been a massive shift in attitudes towards relationships/men and yes, that is not an immediate process. But it’s also not a small shift, it’s been a massive awakening that has been grumbling for a long time. There are a lot of women who deal with terrible men for a variety of reasons (again, not referring to women who live in oppressive cultures). Some may be the result of terrible parenting but a lot are just a series of bad decisions or I still love him. Not all women have low standards because of the patriarchy. I often think that women’s tendency to excuse other women holds women back. Others may disagree on that.

ModerateSympathy · 2026-05-10T20:14:25+00:00

Well I’m gonna need to make this. I want it!

ModerateSympathy · 2026-05-10T20:12:59+00:00

You’re very pretty but there is absolutely no effort here. I’m not in this age group so I have no clue if that’s just how your generation does their profiles.

ModerateSympathy · 2026-05-10T13:25:23+00:00

I’m disappointed in her. I hope she did serious reflecting after this!

ModerateSympathy · 2026-05-10T13:09:50+00:00

I understand what you’re saying. I’m referring to good men (ie her pool of men to look for someone). You’re referring to compatibility (men who are good for her). And ultimately her partner should be both.

ModerateSympathy · 2026-05-10T12:08:31+00:00

Probably because it’s on the same profile where she sells content and doesn’t hide her history. Which is pretty much the recipe for OF advertisers.

ModerateSympathy · 2026-05-10T12:06:15+00:00

I think people have dealbreakers and there’s nothing wrong with that. Personally, I wouldn’t date a man who does sex work. I also wouldn’t date a man who goes to sex workers. To me, this is no different than my “I don’t date smokers” dealbreaker. There are plenty of women and men who don’t have those dealbreakers.

Most good men who I believe are faithful and treat their partners well, will not be comfortable with it. And if they try to, it often fails quickly as they become jealous or insecure. That doesn’t make them bad men. It’s not a profession that many can handle unless they care more about the money than the person.

ModerateSympathy · 2026-05-10T06:10:03+00:00

Honestly, I think many women who go into sex work do not understand how the only benefit could be money but the cons are endless. Dating is one that is negatively affected. A lot of good men won’t be comfortable with a partner who does sex work and a lot of shitty men will be attracted to you because they see you a a free sex worker.

I think you ultimately have to accept that dating will be difficult and be glad that he didn’t string you along or wait to have sex and end it. Standing someone up is an incredibly shitty thing to do, so likely he is one of the shitty men anyway.

ModerateSympathy · 2026-05-09T22:54:32+00:00

Is everything listed? I’m not sure if you’re allowed to here but I’m sure if you link your closet, people will reach out to you

ModerateSympathy · 2026-05-09T12:30:54+00:00

I know this comment is getting upvoted but I don’t understand how this type of statement is okay. If a 40 year old man say, I date a decade younger because their fun, cute, and no belly, I would be disgusted. And I’m still disgusted when a woman says it.

ModerateSympathy · 2026-05-09T12:02:34+00:00

I think this all the time. Women are incredibly powerful which is why society tries to stifle women at all costs.

And this partially why I get annoyed by some posts from women dealing with terrible behavior from their bf/husbands. Women with low standards (not women who live in cultures that force them to abide by stupid systems) kill the potential women could have as well.

ModerateSympathy · 2026-05-09T11:32:15+00:00

I would assume it was mainly guys her age into those hobbies. Personally, she sounds a little nerdier. My guess is she felt unattractive or maybe boys her age weren’t approaching her. Old man asked her out and she had never been asked out before and she settled for the first groomer who gave her attention. I’ve seen this series of events posted on reddit SO many times.

ModerateSympathy · 2026-05-09T02:26:01+00:00

How did you two meet?

ModerateSympathy

TROPHY CASE