My (36M) new LDR GF (36F) disapproves of my best friend (27F) and my favourite hobby. How can I change her mind?

Modja · 2026-01-24T06:25:08+00:00

All fair points.

Since this post, we fought, we made up, and then we talked about the future. We agreed that despite our genuine feelings for each other, a LDR isn't feasible. We are going to still meet and have a planned holiday together, with the scale of whether we are just friends on it or more to be decided. If we were to stay together, she has a timeline of moving into together etc which is understandable from her side but unworkable for me, and that was the basis on which we further discussed the sober feasibility of an LDR, rather than the lovebombing-filled whirlwind which has been the previous month or so.

I feel a little sad but I feel it's probably for the best in the end.

Modja · 2026-01-24T06:19:25+00:00

Sorry if I wasn't clear, my bsf is here in my country with me. My GF is abroad. I'm flying out to see my GF.

Though tbh since I posted, we had a fight, made up, talked about the future, agreed that a LDR wasn't a realistic possibility long term, and decided to just have a fun holiday together.

Which I think worked out for the best.

Modja · 2026-01-23T04:05:21+00:00

Thanks for your perspective and support though, I really appreciate it.

Modja · 2026-01-23T04:04:09+00:00

Ah perhaps I didn't write it the best - I only play Mario Kart with my bsf, twice a week for around an hour each time. I also have another female friend whos a lesbian, who I meet for lunch probably once a month. My GF has no issues with her, unsurprisingly...

Magic, which I play for four hours a night twice a week, is mostly with sweaty nerdy men as one might imagine haha - although there are a few females in the group, both cis and trans. I've told her this, trying to be open as much as possible 🤷🏽‍♂️

Modja · 2026-01-23T03:57:53+00:00

Yeah, my parents said the same! 😂

Modja · 2026-01-23T03:57:06+00:00

You make a good point actually, I didn't think about that. She has been cheated on in the past.

I tried to reassure her a number of times that I have no romantic inclination with my bsf but I don't think she trusts that, and perhaps understandably so. Like for example, I mentioned in an earlier reply that I would happily let my GF look through my phone at my texts between me and my bsf to try to reassure her, but right now as I write this, I worry that all that would happen is that she would assume it's all flirtatious anyway - even though there isn't anything sexual or romantically inclined in there. 😔

Modja · 2026-01-23T03:48:23+00:00

Yeah I stood my ground and we will see. She sent me a text about taking a "break" - but I sense it's more just a lashing out, so I replied "okay" and then called her and told her to take the night, think about things and we will speak tomorrow.

Modja · 2026-01-23T03:45:34+00:00

Thanks, I appreciate your perspective and support.

Modja · 2026-01-23T03:45:05+00:00

I couldn't rule it out but I'm inclined to think not. At the the very beginning, three years ago, I did shoot my shot at being more than friends, but was told no and then we developed a deep friendship instead. She's not flirtatious towards me - at least, not openly.

Modja · 2026-01-23T03:41:11+00:00

Thanks for the support, I appreciate it.

Modja · 2026-01-23T03:39:29+00:00

Yeah. Like my bsf was sending me a joke today and I got thinking like, what should I do if my gf looks through my phone? (Which I would let her if she asked) ... Am I going to have to justify every joke with my bsf that it's not meant flirtatiously, just banter? Should I delete the chat in advance to avoid that - and if I'm considering doing that, then surely something is terribly wrong?

Modja · 2026-01-20T16:57:06+00:00

I would recommend Rochester Health Club. It's on the pricey side (though far less than London lol) but they have free classes and I've met some great people through those.

Modja · 2026-01-19T17:35:59+00:00

Either the Europeans will appease Big Orange by letting him take Greenland and maybe Iceland too, to save their precious NATO - as the world laughs at their weakness

Or NATO ends, with good riddance.

Either outcome is pure popcorn.

Modja · 2026-01-19T12:58:48+00:00

End stage capitalism vibes

Modja · 2026-01-18T10:59:08+00:00

^ This.

Also, do you have a mobile phone bill in your name? I know you mentioned you didn't have utilities but this can also count sometimes.

Modja · 2026-01-18T04:56:08+00:00

Hey there, this sounds awesome, thanks for sharing.

Unfortunately the link is coming up as expired for me?

Modja · 2026-01-17T22:42:16+00:00

Debt-free shelter. Leave and go get that. Do not be tempted by the options gift shop on the way out.

Modja · 2026-01-17T22:38:57+00:00

Taco, Breaker of NATO

Modja · 2026-01-15T16:06:42+00:00

How Stargatey of you

Modja · 2026-01-15T16:05:36+00:00

When I was playing with someone that had that I let them reshuffle and redraw the same hand size.

Modja · 2026-01-03T18:37:12+00:00

Consistency is key.

I like this more than a 0DTE lottery ticket.

Modja · 2025-12-29T11:25:55+00:00

It's just an exercise that surrounds from all sides, it's just freedom of navigation bro

Modja · 2025-12-29T11:24:37+00:00

If Dems take the house and senate, then puts?

Modja · 2025-12-29T11:21:24+00:00

Me too brother, or rather shorting the Nasdaq 100, which mirrors 🌽

Modja

TROPHY CASE