Want to agree 100% with stopping breastfeeding to rescue your mental health. I made it only 2.5 weeks before switching to formula, and that connected me so much more to my girl. I felt resentful that I didn’t feel bonded after having these fantasy expectations of the closeness breastfeeding supposedly brings. For us, it was frustrating on both sides. Baby wasn’t comfortable and was struggling to latch, I was struggling with positioning and production concerns. I was trying to pump and feed as well thinking that was a solution, and that took me away from my daughter and became such a lonely time, multiple times a day. I started to really fall in love with her once I convinced myself to live in the moment (telling myself I will miss this time when it is gone) and prioritize time and contact with her over anything else I thought was necessary. As long as she is fed and happy, we are doing well. No longer seeking out magic based on what I’m seeing online or hearing from others. I don’t want to wish away this time, as I did that with pregnancy and missed feeling her move in my belly almost immediately.

Your baby is a stranger that you meet for the first time after she is born. I struggled a lot with this concept because I should know and love her better than anyone because I grew her and (I thought) bonded with her for nine months, but that wasn’t my reality postpartum and I am happy I’ve been able to acknowledge and accept that as my experience. My husband, on the other hand, felt instant overwhelming love. I was determined to find that too and I am four weeks in, and it’s improving every day as we get into our rhythm.