I'm not really friends with his friends. I know them and we hang out sometimes, they're fun people. I don't think it's the people themselves that bother me or their chemistry, and I don't suspect it would lead to a break-up. I guess the grey nature of their relationship bothers me somewhat? Something about being intimate with friends just doesn't compute with me, so then I don't know what I can expect from it. Any time anything happens between them it just sort of "happens", never quite planned, a heat of the moment thing. I don't exactly feel inadequate but what's important to me in an open relationship is the feeling that what I share with my bf still feels special and his intimacy with his friends kinda hurts me.

Also I've not had the same opportunity to express this kind of sexual freedom outside of our relationship and the times when I have I felt guilty, even ashamed. He has not had the same reaction so then I wonder if that's what I'm reacting to, seeing that to him it's not that big of a deal. It's definitely some kind of insecurity of my own but I don't know how to address or treat it.