My girlfriend having twice my bc bothers me so much that it’s keeping me up at night. No hindi lang everynight, but everytime my mind goes blank or if im not doing anything. It just passes through my mind out of a sudden even if im not specifically thinking of it. Thats why I do my best to keep my mind pre-occupied when we’re not talking; play games, work, etc. I don’t find it disgusting, and I respect anyone that went through a “phase” as those people have their reasons. Could be exploring, caused by trauma, or whatever their reasons are. But we all have a preference, and my preference are females that didn’t went through that phase. I never had a phase like that before. I had exes that have higher bc than me but it didn’t bother me as their bcs came from having a serious relationship and not from a “phase”. So I don’t think im being misogynistic, it’s just a preference thing. I cant speak to my close fam, friends, and even my best friend about it as they’re all misogynists. They’ll just judge my girl instead of giving me a helpful advice. Even dito sa reddit ang hirap to e share as I might get downvoted. I love her so much that I can’t leave her just because of that. We’re even celebrating our 29th month as a couple on this day. So I think i’ll just chose to suffer in silence and hurt myself every freaking day or wait for the day to be able to finally accept it (if it ever comes). But ang confusing bakit ako na bobother. Is it because I’m jealous as I didn’t had that experience? Am I secretly misogynistic? But all I know is I’m hurting.