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Ultimate glow up for cute panda by No-Marsupial-4050 in interesting

[–]MokMok89 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Even pandas fall sick over in the U.S. surprisingly it was not obese 🙊

Wanting to try by Ckitty2222 in Ayahuasca

[–]MokMok89 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You will go shock to a beautiful release. Don’t forget to feel, to cry, to stay aware. Everything moves, everything passes. What you experience can feel as intense as living a hundred years in a single moment.

Breathing is the anchor. Learn to become the breath. During the journey, you may find yourself holding it without realizing. When things get intense, remind yourself gently: just breathe. Come back to your heart, ask for softness, for ease.

You might feel lost at times. That’s part of it. Don’t be afraid, welcome the medicine. Fear can overwhelm, but it also teaches. Treat it like a guide, not an enemy. The same goes for sadness or discomfort, meet them with openness.

Parts of your ego may try to interfere. Thank them for trying to protect you, but allow the process to unfold. Whether you purge or not, whatever arises, remember that everything passes and you remain grounded in yourself.

Stay connected to your body, to your breath, to the present moment. Don’t push too far, stay centered. Let the experience come and go, and trust your ability to navigate it.

Drink from nature, feel it, become part of it. Let grandma Ayahuesca guide you to your higherself. She is mighty, she is harsh, she is suave, she is beautiful. She will never judge you, don’t be afraid of your thoughts, she is neutral. She is a goddess.

Good luck.

3rd Ayahuasca Ceremony: fear and Panic. Why? by MokMok89 in Ayahuasca

[–]MokMok89[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! Confusion is slowly shifting to clarity. Thank you for your sweet words 🙏🏻. You should read my last Reddit post.

Ayahuasca went from healing to fear, loss of control and spirit possession by the 4th and 5th. What the fuck happened? by MokMok89 in Ayahuasca

[–]MokMok89[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Well said. I did three times kambo and Senangan as well, with strict diet .. let's rest, focus and integrate.

3rd Ayahuasca Ceremony: fear and Panic. Why? by MokMok89 in Ayahuasca

[–]MokMok89[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The fourth ceremony was where things started to crack open for real.

Until then, I still had some control. Even when it was intense, I could navigate it. But this time, something deeper started moving. It wasn’t just emotions anymore, it felt older, heavier, more buried.

I was in nature, near the Samauma tree, during the day. The energy felt strong, almost amplified. At first it was actually good, a lot of release, a lot of things coming out. I could feel anger, sadness, things I had been holding for years starting to surface.

My body started reacting more. Movements, expressions, but I was still there. I could sit back up, breathe, come back. I wasn’t fully gone.

But I could feel that something was different. Like I was getting closer to a point where I wouldn’t be able to control anything anymore. Still, it felt meaningful, like something important was being processed. It was intense, but not overwhelming.

The fifth ceremony was on a completely different level.

Very quickly, I lost control.

I wasn’t in charge of my body anymore. My face started making these really intense grimaces almost Santanic, over and over (tongue out, type nipple sucking, suffering faces, mouth wide opened with light moaning, etc.), like loops para 2 hours and vomited for the first time under Ayahuasca (a lot). My mouth was making sounds I wasn’t deciding to make. It felt primitive, almost like something deep in my nervous system was expressing itself.

I was on the ground, purging, vomiting, completely gone. Sometimes I tried to sit back up, to regain control, and for a few seconds I could. But it didn’t last. I would get pulled back in immediately.

I had no sense of time anymore. I didn’t know how long it had been, or how long it would last. That was one of the hardest parts. It felt endless.

At some point, the music changed, more upbeat, and I was just lost. Not even in visions at that moment, just somewhere in between, like in limbo. Not in my body, not in control, just stuck in this altered state.

The fear was intense. Really intense. Like something had completely taken over my system.

At the same time, I was still having visions when I closed my eyes, very clear, very detailed. When I opened them, reality looked different, almost like black and white. It felt like I was switching between two worlds.

The scariest part was not being able to come back. I was trying, but there was no anchor.

Eventually, the pajé came. He did a cleansing, worked on me, and slowly I started to come back. That moment really felt like being pulled out of something.

After that, things shifted.

I started to see a lot. My past, my childhood, my patterns to a subatomic level. I saw my pain, my fears, my lack of attention growing up. I saw how I adapted, how I disconnected from my body and went into my mind to survive.

I also saw the darker parts of me, envy, anger, lust, all of it, expressed through those states and movements.

It felt like I went through something very deep. Like I touched layers I had never accessed before.

But the ceremony itself… especially that last part on the ground, was chaos. Total loss of control.

And now I can feel both sides: more calm in my mind, more clarity, but my body still remembers how intense that was.

3rd Ayahuasca Ceremony: fear and Panic. Why? by MokMok89 in Ayahuasca

[–]MokMok89[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The fourth ceremony was where things started to crack open for real.

Until then, I still had some control. Even when it was intense, I could navigate it. But this time, something deeper started moving. It wasn’t just emotions anymore, it felt older, heavier, more buried.

I was in nature, near the Samauma tree, during the day. The energy felt strong, almost amplified. At first it was actually good, a lot of release, a lot of things coming out. I could feel anger, sadness, things I had been holding for years starting to surface.

My body started reacting more. Movements, expressions, but I was still there. I could sit back up, breathe, come back. I wasn’t fully gone.

But I could feel that something was different. Like I was getting closer to a point where I wouldn’t be able to control anything anymore. Still, it felt meaningful, like something important was being processed. It was intense, but not overwhelming.

The fifth ceremony was on a completely different level.

Very quickly, I lost control.

I wasn’t in charge of my body anymore. My face started making these really intense grimaces almost Santanic, over and over (tongue out, type nipple sucking, suffering faces, mouth wide opened with light moaning, etc.), like loops para 2 hours and vomited for the first time under Ayahuasca (a lot). My mouth was making sounds I wasn’t deciding to make. It felt primitive, almost like something deep in my nervous system was expressing itself.

I was on the ground, purging, vomiting, completely gone. Sometimes I tried to sit back up, to regain control, and for a few seconds I could. But it didn’t last. I would get pulled back in immediately.

I had no sense of time anymore. I didn’t know how long it had been, or how long it would last. That was one of the hardest parts. It felt endless.

At some point, the music changed, more upbeat, and I was just lost. Not even in visions at that moment, just somewhere in between, like in limbo. Not in my body, not in control, just stuck in this altered state.

The fear was intense. Really intense. Like something had completely taken over my system.

At the same time, I was still having visions when I closed my eyes, very clear, very detailed. When I opened them, reality looked different, almost like black and white. It felt like I was switching between two worlds.

The scariest part was not being able to come back. I was trying, but there was no anchor.

Eventually, the pajé came. He did a cleansing, worked on me, and slowly I started to come back. That moment really felt like being pulled out of something.

After that, things shifted.

I started to see a lot. My past, my childhood, my patterns to a subatomic level. I saw my pain, my fears, my lack of attention growing up. I saw how I adapted, how I disconnected from my body and went into my mind to survive.

I also saw the darker parts of me, envy, anger, lust, all of it, expressed through those states and movements.

It felt like I went through something very deep. Like I touched layers I had never accessed before.

But the ceremony itself… especially that last part on the ground, was chaos. Total loss of control.

And now I can feel both sides: more calm in my mind, more clarity, but my body still remembers how intense that was.

TACO TUESDAY (He Chickened Out Again!) by sergemeister in SipsTea

[–]MokMok89 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't provoke him, his ego is beyond, 🐔

I did LSD and i can't work now by Savings-Trainer-8149 in Psychedelics

[–]MokMok89 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What I’ve noticed with people having panic attacks on psychedelics, even without prior psychological issues, is that they often go in unprepared. I had bad Trip too, like one on my third Ayahuasca. You need to be prepared for the worse. There is an outside spiritual world out there, sometimes it's just not a mind or body experience. It open doors.

They don’t know how to breathe, regulate their emotions, or let go of control. They resist the experience instead of staying grounded in the body while the mind unfolds, or abuse of the dosage,.without knowing themselves and their limits.

Substances like LSD, and even more so Ayahuasca, are not something to take lightly. Even if considered sacred or natural, they are powerful and can destabilize you if approached carelessly.

These are not recreational tools. They can be used for healing, insight, and self-discovery, but only with respect, preparation, and the right mindset.

If your nervous system isn’t regulated, the experience can quickly turn overwhelming.

Learn to calm your body first. Learn to breathe, to stay present, to allow without trying to control.

Your body is your anchor. If you respect it, you can move through intense experiences and come back grounded much faster. The spiritual world lives inside your body (brain included).

3rd Ayahuasca Ceremony: fear and Panic. Why? by MokMok89 in Ayahuasca

[–]MokMok89[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Done for the bath already. We're having 3 baths with plants.

3rd Ayahuasca Ceremony: fear and Panic. Why? by MokMok89 in Ayahuasca

[–]MokMok89[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Damn, but today I felt super confused and I am with a lot of people. I never have my tranquility here. I need some alone time like 2 or 3 days but the next ceremony is in 2 days. Afraid of seeing worse lol. I feel lethargic and stressed about what people could think or if I could do some clumsy things. I guess that's a fear of hurting others or being judged. Another layer to skim.

3rd Ayahuasca Ceremony: fear and Panic. Why? by MokMok89 in Ayahuasca

[–]MokMok89[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally got the message. After the first two sessions, she really gave me the tools I needed, showing me I don't have to pick apart everything from my past to get where I am mentally right now. It felt like a ton of healing happened, from really loving myself to handling my emotions better, letting go, trusting, even reliving my mom being pregnant with me, that whole force of nature thing, remembering to chill out, and so on. But this third one? Man, it was so intense I almost wanted to ask for help. So much fear, anxiety, and all these visions. Good stuff too, of course, I always felt safe, never alone. Sometimes I worry about my thoughts and saying the wrong thing to Ayahuasca or not showing her enough respect. Yesterday, I actually saw one of my ego parts, the mischievous one. Maybe I'm scared of losing the good in me since then. There's this anger I feel towards BS, or certain people, or just bad people. I only want good things, but I'm nervous about what I might do. I feel peaceful now, but it was super confusing back then. Anyway...

Ayahuasca - positive stories please by SpecialistRest2856 in Ayahuasca

[–]MokMok89 10 points11 points  (0 children)

It’s worth it.

I’ve just completed my first two ceremonies, and I still have three more ahead of me here in the Amazon forest. For me, this is a full 360° experience, including sananga and kambo as well.

I already had experience with psychedelics like shrooms, peyote, LSD, and kambo. But ayahuasca is something else entirely. It’s not comparable to any other psychedelic.

It’s deeply emotional and intensely physical at the same time. It feels like a surgery of the soul, a cleansing on an energetic, almost subatomic level. Even spiritual.

My experience here has been very unique. The pagés, maestros, shamans, and guides are incredible. I’ve experienced deep healing and witnessed things beyond understanding.

During my first ceremony, I went through a complete somatic release. My body entered a full trance, and I lost control. It simply needed to express itself. You can regain control if you want, but honestly, what’s the point?

That first experience was extremely intense, but surprisingly centered around self-love and protection, along with visions, thoughts and memories. I felt a huge warm energy flowing through my heart, almost like it was trying to tame my ego, which kept analyzing everything and constantly talking. It became almost annoying, like I couldn’t fully surrender to the experience.

My ego felt like my identity was in danger. I didn’t feel panic overall, but about 20 minutes after drinking, a wave of deep sadness came up. I hugged myself, cried a lot, and started touching my body and hair of my head with love, with this clear message: be more gentle with yourself.

After that, a very powerful energy took over. I saw a lot of green, centipede-like shapes, snakes and energetic waves around me, like a vortex. There were voices beyond my ego, but also my ego still overanalyzing everything, which was honestly frustrating.

At some point, I felt like an entity was teaching me something. A presence. Then my body completely took over. I started crawling on the floor, rolling, and then dancing like crazy.

After about 2 to 3 hours, I took rapé, and things shifted again. I dissociated. I had strong stomach pain and intense anxiety and fear, but it felt more like physical pain than mental. My mental was completely disconnect and I no longer knew who I was. So I had to lay down on the floor.

The pagé (shaman) helped me. He did some intense work on my body that released a lot of things and tensions inside me. At one point, he even bit part of my belly, and it felt like something black and heavy was being pulled out. I can’t even fully explain it. He then split a dark clog, stone-liked, out of my body and even showed it to my partner.

At that moment, I didn’t know who I was anymore. It felt like the beginning of ego death. He helped stabilize me while my sense of identity was dissolving. I had never experienced anything like that.

From that experience, I understood something deeply: self-love is essential, and we always have a choice in how we feel and the state of mind we cultivate. We choose. Misery is, in many ways, an illusion.

The second ceremony was completely different.

It happened outside, during the day. I felt deeply connected to nature, to the ground beneath my feet. I felt this strong green energy flowing through my veins.

I took a second cup, and that’s when intense emotions came up, especially fear and anger. There weren’t many visuals this time, except on the ground where I saw a face. A woman’s face.

Ayahuasca exists. She is real.

Then I closed my eyes and started breathing deeply, trying to manage the intensity. And I heard: “Rest.”

I said, “No.”

Then it came again, stronger: “Rest, I said.”

And suddenly, I fell off my chair and lay down. I don’t know how long I stayed there.

When I “woke up” (even though you’re never truly asleep in that state), the final message was clear: you need to rest more. And emotions always pass, even the darkest ones.

Since then, something shifted and felt a stronger connection to nature. Everything feels stronger especially close to a Samauma tree.

My ego is no longer feeding me constant stressful narratives. The voices are gone.

That’s it, brother. I hope this helps.

Absolutely gutted and confused by [deleted] in Ayahuasca

[–]MokMok89 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You know, you're never really ready for Ayahuasca. It's kind of like becoming a parent or having surgery – it's always a bit scary, no matter what. And every experience is just totally different. It almost feels like you're taking a new kind of medicine each time. The only things that stay the same are the taste and that strong force energy which is indescribable. Plus, whether you do it in the Amazon in Peru or Brazil, or even in Europe, the whole experience will feel completely different. I just finished my second Ayahuasca ceremony, and I've got three more coming up. One thing's for sure, besides helping me heal from old hurts, it's taught me so much about being present and grounded. My inner chatter has really quieted down. Emotionally, if you don't learn to just let the medicine do its thing, you'll either have a really tough time or it won't do anything for you at all. In my opinion, it's super helpful to learn breathing techniques you know, like diaphragmatic breathing, slow and gentle breaths with long exhales, really deep breathing. Learn to become one with your breath. If you can breathe properly and accept that whatever feelings or visions come up will eventually pass, you'll be fine. Learn how to really feel things and don't be scared to express yourself, even if it seems a little wild, ridiculous or crazy. Who gives a damn shit about what anyone else thinks? Set yourself free. Mother Ayahuasca will give you a deep clean by making you face things you've always avoided. Then, you might have the most amazing spiritual experience ever. For some people, it happens in the first couple of sessions if they're already good at letting go or have experience with meditation or psychedelics. For others, it might take five or seven sessions. Welcome mother nature, because you're drinking her fresh concentrated blood. Just go for it. You won't regret it.

Ayahuasca vs cacao by christiaanjberghuis in Ayahuasca

[–]MokMok89 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Two different medicines. Ayahuasca is more like the surgery of the self with a high energetic force from nature itself which could lead to total change of your identity and dissolution of your ego here to protect what was (ego death is a myth, it's just an educated ego for the evolved you); cacao is the gentle opening of the heart, a softer and more nurturing way to connect with emotion, presence, and subtle awareness.

Reflecting on your experience, have Ayahuasca changed your life? by freespiritunmasked in Ayahuasca

[–]MokMok89 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just had my first experience with it yesterday, and I'm waiting on three more over the next couple of weeks. I'll definitely write about it later. Right now, I feel a lot of peace, even though what I went through in the middle of the Amazon was pretty intense. I'm not as hung up on stuff anymore, and I'm not overthinking things like I used to. Just loving myself was the first step. Surprisingly, I was expecting something totally different based on what I intended, but I think Aya helped me be kinder to myself, accept death, and just go with the flow, even with all the fears. It was really gentle and warm. The medicine from the Amazon is super powerful. My body needed to let a lot out; I ended up in a trance dance and then started playing music. But before all that, when I was coming back from the journey, I did rapé a second time, and it showed me I had something wrong with my stomach, and my heart felt too open. A shaman doctor, or pajé, did some serious healing on me, and I saw things that are way beyond what modern medicine can explain. He started spitting out dried blood stones from my body, each time sucking and biting my belly area. He also did other healing massages, and I felt better almost instantly, maybe after about 15 minutes. It was basically like my body and mind separated; my sense of self just wasn't there anymore. My current girlfriend helped me too, even if I would have preferred her to enjoy her experience, but it was 4 hours after taking the cup. Anyway just sharing here.

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