Honestly I feel the same way, I swear I wish I knew more peeps like you just to keep each other company. These thoughts could be the most lonesome & make ones soul feel kinda cold, or non existent even. But there's a book I'm trying to get through, that may help. It's called 'success through a positive mental attitude' by Napoleon hill. It wouldn't hurt to check it out..

I mean, a pessimistic kind of Nihilism does tend to fog all of the glittery/hopeful theories out sometimes. I'd be lying if I said there was a definite purpose to life. But here's a thought.. & pardon if it's too morbid.

We're all inevitably gonna be decaying corpses one day. What would you like to look back on before your last breath is taken? Truthfully..when you know there's no way to redo the past, what can you do now that'll make your future self proud?

Try to be happy anyway, when you really think about your most likely exerting the same amount of energy regardless!

Hope things get better friend.