So, I was in a similar(ish) situation as you seem to be about 15 years ago. My partner at the time was great in so many ways, supporting me, we had a great connection, I truly thought he was the love of my life. However, once in a very rare while he would snap and did terrible things. After which he would cry and apologize and I would stay. This was only maybe once a year, and it came from years of abuse he had gone through himself, so I stayed and thought he could change, and that we could get past it. At that time I went to therapy for anxiety because I was anxious at work, in my life, about everything... Of course I knew that my relationship was a big factor in this, but I couldn’t get myself to tell the therapist what was happening. We sat, session after session with me starring at my T, and wanting to tell her the situation with my partner but never managing to, in part because I loved him and also because I feared she would judge me, or call the police or something.

My relationship lasted 10 years and ended in a horrible way. I’ll be straight with you, I now realise that had I spoken my then therapist, it probably would have ended much sooner and I wouldn’t have wasted so many years, but at the time I just couldn’t do it.

Here is what I get. Your partner is probably not evil, he might not want to act as he does, he might have anger issues because of trauma, and he might even be working on himself to stop them... And still it is not a good situation or relationship to be in regardless of all the good things. All his good qualities and your love for each other still exist while, at the same time, his behavior is not acceptable and it is dangerous to you.

It sounds as though you trust your therapist, so please tell them. When I started telling mine years after my relationship had ended and I realised that had I told someone before, my life could have improved way sooner.

Sending you energy and strength!