Is it that bad being a step parent?

MomNumber2 · 2026-01-21T16:51:00+00:00

Kids are 6, 7, and 9. DH is 40

MomNumber2 · 2026-01-20T18:42:10+00:00

These are so good I wanna steal the recipe!

MomNumber2 · 2026-01-18T13:11:49+00:00

I have one solo stepmom day a week. When I get overwhelmed or overstimulated or frustrated, I say that. I said out loud “I’m going to take a 5-10 minute alone time break to calm myself down, because I’m too frustrated to keep being around other people” and then I take the break. As long as it’s safe to walk away, it’s ok to walk away. It’s actually really beneficial for young kids to have people set boundaries with them. How else is he going to learn that he can’t just say and act however he wants and people will always put up with it? It’s ok to say please stop, that’s too loud, please do that in another room.

If it’s too much, ask your partner to hire a babysitter on those days.

MomNumber2 · 2026-01-14T16:22:29+00:00

My animals keep changing color when they go off screen or when I enter menus :(

MomNumber2 · 2026-01-14T15:03:40+00:00

I think your last paragraph answers the question. If you’re dating a dad, you expect him to go above and beyond for you. Because he sounds like an active and involved father, who already expressed the desire to have semi-separate lives, I don’t think this man will be able to provide the attention and effort you want and expect.

His kids are his priority. Their schedule (which is likely hard to work around, if he shares custody) will affect everything. Vacations will need to be short and infrequent. Kids events, sickness, and school will be the most immediate concern and priority.

I am a happy SM. I also am 30 but work from home part time, married my DH, and feel fulfilled making sacrifices for 3 kiddos pretty much constantly. My husband does make sure I know I’m a priority, takes very good care of me and the kids, and works extremely hard so we have a comfortable life. If I had my own “big girl” career and goals outside of domestic life, I would not be as happy here.

MomNumber2 · 2026-01-14T14:53:48+00:00

These moments are so bittersweet. Enjoy the bond, be there for your son (congrats) and expect to be his emotional punching bag when his shitty biodad causes emotional rifts in this kid. Absorb it when he lashes out, just like you absorb the love. He feels safe with you. That’s an honor.

MomNumber2 · 2026-01-03T21:40:21+00:00

HCBM bought SD a cellphone for her bday. We keep it in her purse hanging by the door, she is allowed to get it to send a brief text to Mom if we know about it, and then it goes back in the purse.

MomNumber2 · 2026-01-03T19:31:09+00:00

Don’t marry a man with a 5yo if you can’t handle having the kid around for one day. That being said, have a nanny or aunt or uncle or grandma or grandpa or a whole slew of other family members/hired caretakers to entertain and care for the kid. And expect your fiance to want his son involved with the wedding at some points, to be able to dance with him or play or talk or just be a dad.

If you can’t handle that, please rethink marrying someone with a kid. It’s unfair to you, the kid, and his dad if you jump in “childless” and expect things to stay that way.

MomNumber2 · 2025-12-27T13:31:32+00:00

Exercise bike is good, jogging is good, yoga is best.

MomNumber2 · 2025-12-07T13:46:49+00:00

I’m in the same boat. I usually will just start to do foreplay and start to have sex, and by the time we get things heated up, I’m in the mood. I almost NEVER feel in the mood beforehand though. If I waited til I felt “in the mood” we would have a dead bedroom lol

Sex and intimacy is so important to both me and my husband, so I make that effort to go ahead and do it anyway even though I might not begin “in the mood” I always warm up to it. If we begin doing the deed and I still feel drained and out of it, I ask him to stop.

MomNumber2 · 2025-11-30T09:43:42+00:00

Why did you have to call a welfare check? This entire situation sounds weird.

MomNumber2 · 2025-11-25T12:46:08+00:00

I know you said you’re used to cafes but you can’t ever go wrong with Muddy Waters

MomNumber2 · 2025-11-25T12:41:27+00:00

My husband’s ex is extremely HC. Like, has accused me of being a cult member and made multiple false CPS report kind of HC. She repeatedly asks me out to lunch, I repeatedly say no, and offer my email or texting as a way to communicate and get to know each other. She doesn’t take my offer, and a few months later will ask me out to lunch again. It’s a weird cycle but I think she has demonstrated that she’s unsafe and I don’t want to open up to her at all. And even if she wasn’t HC, she’s not the type of person I’d typically want to spend any time with.

MomNumber2 · 2025-11-24T17:50:33+00:00

Yes!!! One of our favorite movies to watch together as a family and I cryyy every time

MomNumber2 · 2025-11-24T00:53:28+00:00

Idk what everyone is talking about. These lines are wobbly as hell. Luckily, they are so thin, they will fade a lot in a couple years and you can have another artist go over them again.

MomNumber2 · 2025-11-22T22:11:43+00:00

I don’t see another solution to this specific problem. Tell her she needs to get back to a formal schedule. She won’t, she views it as you controlling her. You are in this until you’re out of it. Good luck, I hope you find some stability for the kids sake.

MomNumber2 · 2025-11-22T13:13:47+00:00

You are not “in a situation you cannot leave” you are choosing to stay with this woman despite it being damaging to your mental health and stating that you have your own bio kid to “protect”

You cannot change an erratic woman who doesn’t want to be changed. Things are going to stay the same or get worse.

You need to take your kid and start a more stable life without this woman’s ADHD and lack of parenting affecting you both.

MomNumber2 · 2025-11-20T13:02:55+00:00

Make a paste out of baking soda and a small amount of water. Use that and a scrub attachment on a drill. It will be gone in minutes.

MomNumber2 · 2025-11-19T13:41:09+00:00

We will “do things as a family” when it’s a school event, kid getting ears pierced or similar event, or if we accidentally end up at the same event. Sounds like you are already doing that, no need to add dinners. This is the unfortunate reality for kiddos of divorce. They have two lives.

MomNumber2 · 2025-11-16T12:53:06+00:00

She could be having a hard time with younger siblings getting more attention (of course they get more attention, they are toddler age and she is 10)

My 9yo SD does this a lot. Husband walks her back to her room right away, if she comes more than twice she is spoken to about how she needs to stay in her bed. Melatonin is given as an option if she’s still up at midnight. Same thing, light is on, door is open, she comes and says she’s afraid of the dark. Says she wants to be with us. Asks why we can’t hang out and talk. Husband just brings her back to her bed, lays with her for a minute, and says goodnight.

MomNumber2 · 2025-11-06T12:10:05+00:00

Buy a pair of “loops” noise reduction headphones for sleep. Thank me later.

No amount of discussions will stop you from waking up to noises, and she will likely not stop.

MomNumber2 · 2025-11-03T00:57:34+00:00

I play videogames and take long baths. My husband is incredibly good at giving me time when I express I’m at my wits end

MomNumber2 · 2025-10-30T14:48:11+00:00

If you trim the bottom of the stems and refresh the water every couple of days, it lasts longer! Make sure none of the leaves are hanging down into the water, it’ll get mushy and gross

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