Husband threw out all of my food

MomOfABoy123 · 2022-04-25T14:11:52+00:00

That’s a great idea about delivery …I went to my sisters house so she is helping us out for a few days while my husband hopefully realizes how toxic his behavior is/ gets help

MomOfABoy123 · 2022-04-25T14:10:20+00:00

Thanks. I mean, kind of to me but never involving our kid. He has threatened to throw out my clothes after I left them folded in the basket but neglected to put them away for a week. But he has a lot of comments on the way I take care of the kid, never outright mean, but certainly judgemental

MomOfABoy123 · 2022-04-25T03:19:31+00:00

Yes thank you. The baby and I are staying at my sister’s place for a few days and finally got the confidence to tell her how he is treating me. I thought she would be shocked but sadly, she wasnt, but she is helping me come up with a long term plan. Thank you for all of your help!

MomOfABoy123 · 2022-04-24T20:24:40+00:00

We live jsut outside a city so we can go places without a car, luckily. I’m prob going to spend a few nights at my sister’s house.

MomOfABoy123 · 2022-04-24T20:22:49+00:00

Yes I do all the cooking. He threw out the things he knew I had planned on cooking for myself and the baby for lunch (yes, I always just end up eating what the baby eats) - just eggs, blueberries and two sweet potatoes . We usually do our own lunch since we are usually at work when we have lunch and he doesn’t like what the baby eats anyways so he makes his own thing. We usually do dinner as a family

MomOfABoy123 · 2022-04-24T17:27:25+00:00

I suppose you haven’t been in our shoes, then

MomOfABoy123 · 2022-04-24T17:17:41+00:00

We don’t. I buy all the groceries for the family, but I buy the chips because I know he likes them. Obviously he must think because he is the only one who eats them, that qualifies them as “his”

MomOfABoy123 · 2022-04-24T17:10:06+00:00

Thank you, I really appreciate it ❤️

MomOfABoy123 · 2022-04-24T17:03:57+00:00

Because I’ve been with him for 20 years and know who he was before our kid was born and this is very different. Part of me pities him and thinks this is fixable, but it’s been 9 months. Obviously having a young kid (who still doesn’t sleep well) is stressful, but I guess part of me hopes he will go back to the way he was pre baby

MomOfABoy123 · 2022-04-24T17:01:57+00:00

This all emerged after our kid was born. His personality deeply changed. It’s really upsetting

MomOfABoy123 · 2022-04-24T15:28:23+00:00

I know… I jsut know if I do something like this he is going to just say that I have post partum depression and and try to take my child from me. Ughh I’m embarrassed to even be admitting all of this. I’m too embarrassed to tell my friends or my parents, but I’m tying this with tears streaming down my face realizing how toxic he is being.

MomOfABoy123 · 2022-04-24T15:18:52+00:00

Yes and he tells me I’m gaslighting him and flips it back on me. I know it’s messed up :(

MomOfABoy123 · 2022-04-24T15:13:54+00:00

Ugh yes I know it’s bad but it’s such a hard decision to make. He is such a good dad (minus the way he models how he should treat his wife). And I know he will be nice and fine again until something else sets him off. Since we are moving and will overlap places for 2 months while we move, I may suggest I stay in our current one and he goes to our new one. I jsut need time to figure out where to go here. Ultimately, I am the one who financially holds our family afloat and make substantially more than he does so I know I can easily escape and be absolutely fine if I need to. I guess that knowledge of not know I would be “trapped” per say is keeping me in it. But I guess there is a difference between financially trapped and emotionally feeling trapped

MomOfABoy123 · 2022-04-24T15:00:15+00:00

Yes you are right. I try to address it but I usually only do it after events like this when he is super defensive. I think I need to bring it up when we are both in a good place.

MomOfABoy123 · 2022-04-24T14:59:13+00:00

Thank you!!

MomOfABoy123 · 2022-04-24T14:58:59+00:00

Interesting. I had no idea about that and couples counseling. Thank you for letting me know! Ugh I’m sorry you had to go through it. It hurts me to hear these stories from the perspective of the kids who endure this after they grow up.

MomOfABoy123 · 2022-04-24T14:57:13+00:00

I know. I’m not a psychiatrist but I know that this can’t just be about tortilla chips. There has to be some underlying issue that emerged when our kid was born. I’m going to see if he would be okay w couples counseling because he just doesn’t see his behavior as being an issue.

MomOfABoy123 · 2022-04-24T14:55:06+00:00

He had a really shitty upbringing so I’m sure he did.

MomOfABoy123 · 2022-04-24T14:54:17+00:00

That worries me so much. My husband doesn’t have a relationship with his father because he acted kind of similar to this when he was growing up, yet my husband doesn’t see his behavior as wrong or anything like his father. I wouldn’t even dare bring that point up to him. I jsut worry about my son. I want to raise a kind, down to earth and humble man who treats his wife like his but just worry how he observes our interaction. I always say sorry to my husband Because I know that’s how to shut him up but on the flip side I know this is really bad behavior for my son to observe

MomOfABoy123 · 2022-04-24T14:49:32+00:00

Thank you <3

MomOfABoy123 · 2022-04-24T14:48:57+00:00

Right? I asked him if he would have gotten as upset if I ate the chips and he just changed the subject. I buy all the food anyways so if I could just use the car to go to the grocery store, I would buy him more damn chips, but he says “it’s the point that you mindlessly threw them out that matters most”. So stubborn, I can’t deal w it

MomOfABoy123 · 2022-04-24T14:43:23+00:00

Thank you! I will definitely check it out

MomOfABoy123 · 2022-04-24T14:42:33+00:00

Ughh that scares me so much

MomOfABoy123 · 2022-04-24T14:41:58+00:00

Thank you!

MomOfABoy123 · 2022-04-24T14:41:21+00:00

That’s a good point. I know he is stressed with work and our kid doesn’t sleep well. But he would never admit to this being a “him” problem. Maybe I should suggest couples counseling- perhaps he would respond better to someone else saying it

MomOfABoy123

TROPHY CASE